Harv and the Monkey
A guy is sitting in a pub, when he notices a monkey sitting at the other end of the rail, drinking beer. The guy watches as the monkey finishes the beer and then motions towards the chips on the wall. The bartender hands the monkey another beer and a bag of chips. In a little while, the monkey motions to the bartender again, this time pointing behind the bar. The bartender walks over and hands the monkey a banana.
The guy watches and makes the comment about the monkey being pretty special. The bartender laughs and says, "You think that's special? Check this out...", and pulls a 2 x 4 from under the bar. He lifts the board overhead and looks at the monkey. The monkey shrugs, and takes a swig of beer, only to have the bartender smack him atop the head with the 2 x 4.
The monkey shrieks in pain, runs over and pulls the bartender's schwanz out of his pants, and begins to give him the most intense blowjob that anyone present has ever witnessed. After the monkey finishes, he takes his seat atop his barstool, and resumes drinking beer.
The guy is impressed, as well as the other patrons of the bar. The bartender grins, holds out the 2 x 4, and says, "Anyone else want to give it a shot?"
Harvey, who's witnessed the whole thing, says, " Hell, yeah. Just don't hit me that hard..."
Bullshit so far »Redneck Sensitivity
Three Rednecks were working on the BellSouth tower - Steve, Bruce and Jed. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and Tell his wife."
Jed says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it."
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser. Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Jed"
"Steve's wife gave it to me," Jed replies.
"That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer"
Well, not exactly", Jed says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'."
She said, "No, I'm not a widow."
And I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are!"
Bullshit so far »Two Drunk Irishmen
A couple of drunk Irishmen are wandering home after a late night of drinkin' and carousin', and get into an argument. So, they stop at the nearest convent, hoping one of the nuns can settle their dispute.
They knock on the door, a Sister answers, and one of the Irishmen asks, "Beggin' your pardon, Sister, but do ye have any nuns here in this convent about yeah high?" And holds his hand about two and a half feet from the ground.
The sister answers, "No, no... I'm quite certain we don't have any sisters... not even novitiates, that are nearly that short."
"Well then, how's about one that short, somewhere in this parish?"
Again, "No, not even in this entire parish is there one that short, lad!"
"Well, I'm guessin' there's GOT to be one that short somewhere in the entire Diocese!"
"That I couldn't say - let me ask the Convent Mother Superior." She runs off and gets the Mother Superior, who appears at the door, saying, "No, I'm quite certain - there isn't a single nun in the entire Diocese that is quite that short! Why, I can assure you, there isn't a nun that short in the whole of Ireland!"
The one Irishman turns to the other one and says, "See wha' I waz tryin' te tell ye! Ye've just gone and focked a penguin!"
Bullshit so far »Missing the Point
Harvey was sitting at his usual corner stool one night, and I was bartending. I'd cut him off at six again, since he'd been drinking all day and smelled like the fermenting room on the Jack Daniels distillery tour. Anyhow, he'd been watching how Madfish Willie kept going up to women, whispering in their ear, and sometimes, just sometimes, the woman would leave with Willie, and he wouldn't come back until half an hour later!
Harv was fascinated. Willie obviously had a trick up his sleeve, and Harvey was a bit peeved that his buddy hadn't let him in on it. So, next chance he got, he staggered over to Willie and asked about it.
Willie told him, "It's very simple. I just whisper in their ear, 'Tickle your ass with a feather?' Most of the time, they're shocked, and say, 'WHAT did you say?' If that happens, I just go, 'Oh! I just said, particularly nice weather!'" But sometimes, they go, "SURE!"
Harvey slurs, "Got it! You shoulda tol' me shooner!" He goes up to the first woman he sees, and hollers at her, "HEY! YOU WANNA FUCK?"
She smacks him across the face and says, "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME????"
Harvey rubs his reddened cheek and mumbles, "Rainin' like a bitch outside, ain't it!"
Bullshit so far »Faith Healing Failure
A faith healer came to my town the other day. He set up the big revival tent, ran ads in the town newspaper and on our local radio stations.
Now, I don't believe in faith healing, but I do like to watch a good charlatan at work, so I went to see the show.
The guy is up there on the stage, working the crowd into a fever pitch, when he hollers out, "I know many of you have seen faith healing by the POWER of JEE-sus! But have you EVER seen a DOUBLE healin'? You're gonna see one tonight!"
He asks for a volunteer, and an old guy on crutches hobbles up onto the stage. The healer asks him his name, and how long he's been on crutches. The old geezer answers, "My name is Fred, and Ah've been on these here things my whole life. I uz born with bad legs."
Healer tells him it's all gonna get cured, and to go stand behind this 7' curtain that is directly behind them. Old geezer hobbles around behind the curtain. Healer asks for another volunteer, and a healthy-looking fellow strides up onto the stage. The healer remarks that there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with him, asks his name and what is his affliction?
The second volunteer replies, "M-m-m-m-my N-n-n-n-name is B-b-b-b-b-bob. M-m-m-my..."
Faith healer interrupts the poor guy, and says, "Oh, Bob... don't try to say anything else. I think we can all see what your affliction is. Now, you go around behind the curtain with Fred, there, and we're gonna fix you right up, drive those demons from your vocal cords, by the HEALIN' power of JEE-sus!" Bob goes around behind the curtain.
The faith healer turns back to the audience and works them up to a tizzy with prayers and "Can I get a witness!" and "AMEN!" Finally he smacks his hands together, and hollers out like he's gonna faint, "The GOOD Lord's work HAS BEEN DONE, ladies and gentlemen!" A hush falls over the crowd as the preacher hollers at the curtain, "FRED! Throw your useless old crutches OVER the CURTAIN!" A pair of crutches come flying over the curtain. Then the preacher hollers, "BOB! Now... SPEAK to us!"
Bob says, "F-f-f-f-f-f-f-fred fell down!"
Bullshit so far »Irishman in a bar
An Irishman walks into a Dublin pub and orders four pints of ale. He takes all of them to a table, sets them around the table, and starts drinking the one in front of him. Then, he gets up, sits in another chair, and starts sipping another pint. He goes around the table this way until all four pints are finished.
In the process, the bartender gently reminds him the ale will be colder and fresher if he would just order them one at a time.
The Irishman answers, "Aaack, I drink fer me brudders. One is in Australia, one is in Canada, and one is in Scotland. Me custom is to drink not only fer meself, but also in honor of me far-flung brudders."
The bartender understands this, and everyone in the pub heard the explanation, and nodded their heads in understanding of the closeness of brothers.
This goes on, every day, for months. Always four pints of ale, always sipped one mug at a time. The pub regulars know why, and don't bother the guy.
One day, he comes in and orders three pints of ale, not four. The entire pub becomes hushed. After a few moments, the bartender gently says, "I dunna know what happened, lad, but we're all sorry fer yer loss."
The guy is confused for a moment, and then finally realizes what the bartender is implying. He says, "AH!! No, no, everybody is fine! It's just that I've given up drinking!"
Bullshit so far »
It's Showtime!
Here's one for the Corner of the Bar Babes
Bullshit so far »» Bad Example links with: THEY'RE LIKE THE SCANTILY-CLAD JAPANESE VILLAGE PEOPLE
Television specials for 00's
Do you remember the Charlie Brown specials that taught valuable life lessons to a generation of kids? Well here are some new episodes:
Bullshit so far »
Peanuts specials for kids of the Aughts:We learn about VD in: "It Burns When I Pee, Charlie Brown"
Charlie and the little redheaded girl learn about unwanted pregnancy in:
"I'm Starting To Show, Charlie Brown!"Is Linus gay? "Its A Different Kind Of Love, Charlie Brown"
Charlie moves back to his house in East L.A in: "Oye! Vato! Que Pasa, Carlito Moreno?"
See how the Peanuts Gang deals with date rape in: "No Means No, Charlie Brown!"
Franklin speaks! The Peanuts gang gets a lesson in Ebonics in: "Imo Busta Cap Inyo Ass, Charlie Brown"
What goes on the mind of a serial killer? Discover the inner workings of Pig Pen's twisted psyche and meet his murderous alter ego "Mr. Clean" in: "God Told Me To Do It, Charlie Brown"
Schroder teaches the Peanuts gang about getting high in: "Roll Us A Fat One, Charlie Brown!"
Charlie Brown gets his first job in: "Would You Like Fries With That, Charlie Brown?"
Charlie Brown peddles his body for crack money while stealing social security checks and stripping cars in: "Go Blame Society, Charlie Brown"
Peppermint Patty 'goes to town' on Marcie in: "Who Needs Men, Charlie Brown?"
» Bad Example links with: THERE'S SOMETHING DEEPLY WRONG WITH ME
» the day lee misadventures links with: Charles Schultz rolling over in his grave right about now...
No smoking?
A recent survey shows that 9 out of 10 men, who have tried camels, still prefer women.
Not Masters & Johnson
I shouldn't have done it. I should just keep my sex advice to myself.
A friend of mine showed up at work one day, saying that no matter how he tried, he could NOT get his woman to have an orgasm. He said he'd tried everything.
So (this is where I messed up) I told him my little trick. I keep a loaded .38 under my pillow, and I've discovered that if I reach under there and pull the trigger at just the right second, the sound of the explosion just sends her right over the edge. Incredible.
Anyhow, I pass this advice along to that friend. Then, he misses work for an entire week. I figure he's having some of the best sex ever. When he finally shows up, though, he looks like a mild case of death warmed over.
I said, "Holy CRAP, man! What the hell happened to YOU?"
He says, "Well, I took your advice about the .38. I pulled the trigger, and the bitch shit all over my face and bit my dick off!"
Bullshit so far »Yeah, I'm the new guy!
OK, I've been here ten seconds, haven't even figured out the cash register yet, and everybody's yelling "Who's the Ponyboy and what's he doin' goin' behind the bar? He got permission for that shit?
And I'm yellin', "Who the hell's in charge here? Harvey? Wilbur? Herby? Harvard?"
And nobody can understand nuthin' cause everybody's yelling!
Not like the time I was walkin' past a barn in West Virginia, and it was so quiet, from up in the hay loft, I could hear...
Last Call »Bullshit so far »
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Why is it called a 'herd' of cattle ?
Kang A Roo: Well, have you 'herd' the sound they make !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a joke book for chickens ?
Kang A Roo: A yolk book !
Harv E Roo: What did the lovesick bull say to the cow ?
Kang A Roo: 'When I fall in love it will be for heifer' !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken ?
Kang A Roo: An egg-splosion !
Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the road at the fairground ?
Kang A Roo: To get to the other side !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo ?
Kang A Roo: A woolly jumper !
Harv E Roo: What has two legs and flies ?
Kang A Roo: A pig !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ?
Kang A Roo: A cow that can milk itself !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a sleeping bull ?
Kang A Roo: A bulldozer !
Harv E Roo: Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice ?
Kang A Roo: Because he was a dirty double crosser !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: How do you stop a rooser crowing on Sunday ?
Kang A Roo: Eat him on Saturday !
Harv E Roo: Why did the foal cough ?
Kang A Roo: Because he was a little horse !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a pig that took a plane ?
Kang A Roo: Swine flu !
Harv E Roo: Why was the farmer hopping mad ?
Kang A Roo: Because someone had trodden on his corn !
Harv E Roo: What's the best way to make a bull sweat ?
Kang A Roo: Put him in a tight jumper !
Harv E Roo: Why did Bo Peep lose her sheep ?
Kang A Roo: She had a crook with her !
Harv E Roo: Why do cows like being told jokes ?
Kang A Roo: Because they like being amoosed !
Harv E Roo: What do you call an arctic cow ?
Kang A Roo: An eskimoo !
Harv E Roo: Why did the pig go to the casino ?
Kang A Roo: To play the slop machine !
Harv E Roo: What is a pigs favorite ballet ?
Kang A Roo: Swine Lake !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Where do you take sick ponies ?
Kang A Roo: To the horsepital !
Harv E Roo: What do you say if you see a flying pig ?
Kang A Roo: 'I see bacon's going up' !
Harv E Roo: Who tells chicken jokes ?
Kang A Roo: Comedihens !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a bull who tells jokes ?
Kang A Roo: Laugh-a-bull !
Harv E Roo: If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have ?
Kang A Roo: Plenty of milk !
Harv E Roo: Why did the baby turkey bolt down his food ?
Kang A Roo: Because he was a little gobbler !
Harv E Roo: Why did the starstruck chicken cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To see Gregory Peck !
Harv E Roo: What kind of tie does a pig wear ?
Kang A Roo: Pig's tie !
Harv E Roo: What is another name for a cow ?
Kang A Roo: A lawn-mooer !
Harv E Roo: Why did the Roman chicken cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: Because she was afraid someone would caesar !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a pig thief ?
Kang A Roo: A hamburglar !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of grapes ?
Kang A Roo: A swine gut !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel ?
Kang A Roo: Lumpy milkshakes !
Harv E Roo: What is the definition of a goose ?
Kang A Roo: An animal that grows down as it grows up !
Harv E Roo: What is the opposite of cock-a doodle-doo ?
Kang A Roo: Cock-a-doodle-don't !
Harv E Roo: What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour ?
Kang A Roo: Leave it inside the cow !
Harv E Roo: Why was the lamb told off for being rude ?
Kang A Roo: He would not say 'thank ewe' to his mum !
Harv E Roo: What goes 'peck,bang,peck,bang,peck,bang' ?
Kang A Roo: A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig ?
Kang A Roo: A groundhog !
Harv E Roo: How do you take a pig to hospital ?
Kang A Roo: By hambulance !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Why is it called a 'herd' of cattle ?
Kang A Roo: Well, have you 'herd' the sound they make !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a joke book for chickens ?
Kang A Roo: A yolk book !
Harv E Roo: What did the lovesick bull say to the cow ?
Kang A Roo: 'When I fall in love it will be for heifer' !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you feed gunpowder to a chicken ?
Kang A Roo: An egg-splosion !
Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the road at the fairground ?
Kang A Roo: To get to the other side !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo ?
Kang A Roo: A woolly jumper !
Harv E Roo: What has two legs and flies ?
Kang A Roo: A pig !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus ?
Kang A Roo: A cow that can milk itself !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a sleeping bull ?
Kang A Roo: A bulldozer !
Harv E Roo: Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice ?
Kang A Roo: Because he was a dirty double crosser !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Where do you take sick ponies ?
Kang A Roo: To the horsepital !
Harv E Roo: What do you say if you see a flying pig ?
Kang A Roo: 'I see bacon's going up' !
Harv E Roo: Who tells chicken jokes ?
Kang A Roo: Comedihens !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a bull who tells jokes ?
Kang A Roo: Laugh-a-bull !
Harv E Roo: If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have ?
Kang A Roo: Plenty of milk !
Harv E Roo: Why did the baby turkey bolt down his food ?
Kang A Roo: Because he was a little gobbler !
Harv E Roo: Why did the starstruck chicken cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To see Gregory Peck !
Harv E Roo: What kind of tie does a pig wear ?
Kang A Roo: Pig's tie !
Harv E Roo: What is another name for a cow ?
Kang A Roo: A lawn-mooer !
Harv E Roo: Why did the Roman chicken cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: Because she was afraid someone would caesar !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: How do you stop a rooser crowing on Sunday ?
Kang A Roo: Eat him on Saturday !
Harv E Roo: Why did the foal cough ?
Kang A Roo: Because he was a little horse !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a pig that took a plane ?
Kang A Roo: Swine flu !
Harv E Roo: Why was the farmer hopping mad ?
Kang A Roo: Because someone had trodden on his corn !
Harv E Roo: What's the best way to make a bull sweat ?
Kang A Roo: Put him in a tight jumper !
Harv E Roo: Why did Bo Peep lose her sheep ?
Kang A Roo: She had a crook with her !
Harv E Roo: Why do cows like being told jokes ?
Kang A Roo: Because they like being amoosed !
Harv E Roo: What do you call an arctic cow ?
Kang A Roo: An eskimoo !
Harv E Roo: Why did the pig go to the casino ?
Kang A Roo: To play the slop machine !
Harv E Roo: What is a pigs favorite ballet ?
Kang A Roo: Swine Lake !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a hen with a dog ?
Kang A Roo: Pooched eggs !
Harv E Roo: Why did the bull rush ?
Kang A Roo: Because it saw the cow slip !
Harv E Roo: Why did the ram fall over the cliff ?
Kang A Roo: He didn't see the ewe turn !
Harv E Roo: What is a cow's favourite TV show ?
Kang A Roo: Dr Moo !
Harv E Roo: What is a horse's favourite sport ?
Kang A Roo: Stable tennis !
Harv E Roo: Why did the farmer call his pig 'Ink' ?
Kang A Roo: Because he kept running out of the pen !
Harv E Roo: Where does a woodsman keep his pigs ?
Kang A Roo: In a hog cabin !
Harv E Roo: What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle ?
Kang A Roo: Use a cowculator !
Harv E Roo: What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange ?
Kang A Roo: 'Dad, dad, look what marma-laid' !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a sheep with no legs or head ?
Kang A Roo: A cloud !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a pig thief ?
Kang A Roo: A hamburglar !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of grapes ?
Kang A Roo: A swine gut !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel ?
Kang A Roo: Lumpy milkshakes !
Harv E Roo: What is the definition of a goose ?
Kang A Roo: An animal that grows down as it grows up !
Harv E Roo: What is the opposite of cock-a doodle-doo ? Harv E Roo: What's the best way to keep milk from turning sour ? Harv E Roo: Why was the lamb told off for being rude ? Harv E Roo: What goes 'peck,bang,peck,bang,peck,bang' ? Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a pile of mud with a pig ? Harv E Roo: How do you take a pig to hospital ?
Kang A Roo:Cock-a-doodle-don't !
Kang A Roo: Leave it inside the cow !
Kang A Roo: He would not say 'thank ewe' to his mum !
Kang A Roo: A bunch of chickens in a field full of balloons !
Kang A Roo: A groundhog !
Kang A Roo: By hambulance !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Bill:"My homework is really difficult tonight, I've to write an essay on an elephant."?
Kang A Roo: Bert:"Well, for a start your going to need a big ladder.."
Harv E Roo: Why do elephants do well in school ?
Kang A Roo: Because they have a lot of grey matter !
Harv E Roo: Teacher:"To which family does the elephant belong ?"
Kang A Roo: Pupil:"I don't know, nobody I know owns one !"
Harv E Roo: How do you spell elephant ?
Kang A Roo: E-l-l-e-e-f-a-n-t
Harv E Roo: "That's not how the dictionary spells it"
Kang A Roo: "You didn't ask me how the dictionary spelt it !"
Harv E Roo: Teacher: "Name six wild animals"
Kang A Roo: Pupil:"Four elephants and two lions !"
Harv E Roo: Teacher: "Where would you find an elephant ?"
Kang A Roo: Pupil:"You don't have to find them, they're too big to lose !"
Harv E Roo: What is the easy way to get a wild elephant ?
Kang A Roo: Get a tame one and annoy it !
Harv E Roo: What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming ?
Kang A Roo: Here come the elephants
Harv E Roo: What's the best way to see a charging herd of elephants ?
Kang A Roo: On television !
Harv E Roo: Why do elephants have flat feet ?
Kang A Roo: From jumping out of tall trees !
Harv E Roo: Is the squirt from an elephants trunk very powerful?
Kang A Roo: Well, a jumbo jet can keep 500 people oin the air for hours at a time !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What's grey and moves at a hundred miles an hour ?
Kang A Roo: A jet propelled elephant !
Harv E Roo: What's big and grey and wears a mask ?
Kang A Roo: The elephantom of the opera !
Harv E Roo: What's grey, stands in a river when it rains and doesn't get wet ?
Kang A Roo: An elephant with an umbrella !
Harv E Roo: What' s grey with red spots ?
Kang A Roo: An elephant with the measles !
Harv E Roo: What's grey and never needs ironing ?
Kang A Roo: A drip dry elephant !
Harv E Roo: What's big and grey and red ?
Kang A Roo: A sunburnt elephant !
Harv E Roo: What's grey and goes round and round ?
Kang A Roo: An elephant in a washing machine !
Harv E Roo: What's grey and highly dangerous ?
Kang A Roo: An elephant with a machine gun !
Harv E Roo: What's big and grey and lives in a lake in Scotland ?
Kang A Roo: The Loch Ness Elephant !
Harv E Roo: What's yellow on the outside and grey on the inside ?
Kang A Roo: An elephant disguised as a banana !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What kind of elephants live in Antartica ?
Kang A Roo: Cold ones !
Harv E Roo: Why do elephants have trunks ?
Kang A Roo: Because they would look silly carrying suitcases !
Harv E Roo: How do you fit five elephants into a car ?
Kang A Roo: Two in the front, two in the back and the other in the glove compartment !
Harv E Roo: How does an elephant get out of a small car ?
Kang A Roo: The same way that he got in !
Harv E Roo: Why did the elephant cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: Because the chicken was having a day off !
Harv E Roo: What do you call an elephant at the North Pole ?
Kang A Roo: Lost !
Harv E Roo: What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill ?
Kang A Roo: "Pack your trunk and clear out !"
Harv E Roo: How do you get an elephant into a matchbox ?
Kang A Roo: Take all the matches out first !
Harv E Roo: What happened to the elephant who ran away with the circus ?
Kang A Roo: The police made him bring it back !
Harv E Roo: Why shouldn't you take an elephant to the zoo ?
Kang A Roo: Because he'd rather go to the movies !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it ?
Kang A Roo: Nothing, it just let out a little wine !
Harv E Roo: How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert ?
Kang A Roo: You get very lumpy ice cream !
Harv E Roo: Why are elephants wiser than chickens ?
Kang A Roo: Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant ?!
Harv E Roo: Why do elephants eat raw food ?
Kang A Roo: Because they don't know how to cook !
Harv E Roo: Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet ?
Kang A Roo: He wrecked three cars, a bus and two fire engines !
Harv E Roo: Why did the elephant eat the candle ?
Kang A Roo: For light refreshment !
Harv E Roo: What do you do with a green elephant ?
Kang A Roo: Wait till it ripens !
Harv E Roo: When should you feed milk to a baby elephant ?
Kang A Roo: When it's a baby elephant !
Harv E Roo: How do you know that peanuts are fattening ?
Kang A Roo: Have you ever seen a skinny elephant ?
Harv E Roo: What do you call an elephant that can't do sums ?
Kang A Roo: Dumbo !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What is the difference between an elephant and a flea?
Kang A Roo: An elephant can have fleas but a flea can't have elephants !
Harv E Roo: Why did the elephant paint his toenails red ?
Kang A Roo: So he could hide in the cherry tree !
Harv E Roo: How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed ?
Kang A Roo: When your nose touches the ceiling !
Harv E Roo: What do you call an elephant that flies ?
Kang A Roo: A jumbo jet !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo ?
Kang A Roo: Big holes all over Australia !
Harv E Roo: How does an elephant get down from a tree ?
Kang A Roo: He sits on a leaf and waits till autumn !
Harv E Roo: Why did the elephant paint himself with different colours?
Kang A Roo: Because he wanted to hide in the colouring box !
Harv E Roo: Why were the elephants thrown out of the swimming pool ?
Kang A Roo: Because they couldn't hold their trunks up !
Harv E Roo: What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence ?
Kang A Roo: Time to fix the fence !
Harv E Roo: Why does an elephant wear sneakers ?
Kang A Roo: So that he can sneak up on mice !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What do you call someone with an elephant on their head ?
Kang A Roo: Squashed !
Harv E Roo: How to elephants talk to each other ?
Kang A Roo: By 'elephone !
Harv E Roo: What did the zoo keeper say when he saw four elephants walking over the hill towards him wearing sunglasses ?
Kang A Roo: Nothing, he didn't recognize them !
Harv E Roo: When do elephants have 8 feet ?
Kang A Roo: When there are two of them !
Harv E Roo: What do you give an elephant with big feet ?
Kang A Roo: Plenty of room !
Harv E Roo: Why did the elephant walk on two feet ?
Kang A Roo: To give the ants a chance !
Harv E Roo: Why do elephants have trunks ?
Kang A Roo: Because they've no pockets to put things in !
Harv E Roo: What animals were last to leave the ark ?
Kang A Roo: The elephants as they had to pack their trunks !
Harv E Roo: What would happen if an elephant sat in front of you at the movies ?
Kang A Roo: You would miss most of the film !
Harv E Roo: A man was sprinkling some white powder on his lawn.
Kang A Roo: "Why are you doing that ?" asked his neighbour.
Harv E Roo: "It's to keep the elephants off the grass", he replied.
Kang A Roo: "But we don't get elephants round here!"
Harv E Roo: "I know - good stuff isn't it !"
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Why don't elephants like playing cards in the jungle ?
Kang A Roo: Because of all the cheetahs !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a elephant that never washes ?
Kang A Roo: A smellyphant !
Harv E Roo: What do you call an elephant with a carrot in each ear ?
Kang A Roo: Anything you want as he can't hear you !
Harv E Roo: What do you call an elephant with a machine gun ?
Kang A Roo: Sir !
Harv E Roo: What can an elephant with a machine gun call you ?
Kang A Roo: Anything he likes !
Harv E Roo: What do you call an elephant that's small and pink ?
Kang A Roo: A failure !
Harv E Roo: What do you call an elephant that lies across the middle of a tennis court ?
Kang A Roo: Annette !
Harv E Roo: What do you call an elephant creeping through the jungle in the middle of the night ?
Kang A Roo: Russell !
Harv E Roo: What do you call an elephant with a rabbit up it's sweater ?
Kang A Roo: Warren !
Harv E Roo: What do you call the rabbit up the elephant's sweater ?
Kang A Roo: Terrified !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it ?
Kang A Roo: Nothing, it just let out a little wine !
Harv E Roo: How can you tell if there is an elephant in your dessert ?
Kang A Roo: You get very lumpy ice cream !
Harv E Roo: Why are elephants wiser than chickens ?
Kang A Roo: Have you ever heard of Kentucky Fried Elephant ?!
Harv E Roo: Why do elephants eat raw food ?
Kang A Roo: Because they don't know how to cook !
Harv E Roo: Have you heard about the elephant that went on a crash diet ?
Kang A Roo: He wrecked three cars, a bus and two fire engines !
Harv E Roo: Why did the elephant eat the candle ?
Kang A Roo: For light refreshment !
Harv E Roo: What do you do with a green elephant ?
Kang A Roo: Wait till it ripens !
Harv E Roo: When should you feed milk to a baby elephant ?
Kang A Roo: When it's a baby elephant !
Harv E Roo: How do you know that peanuts are fattening ?
Kang A Roo: Have you ever seen a skinny elephant ?
Harv E Roo: What do you call an elephant that can't do sums ?
Kang A Roo: Dumbo !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What's the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper ?
Kang A Roo: You can't make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant !
Harv E Roo: What's the difference between a sick elephant and seven days ?
Kang A Roo: One is a weak one and the other one week !
Harv E Roo: What's the difference between an elephant and a banana ?
Kang A Roo: Have you ever tried to peel an elephant ?
Harv E Roo: Why are elephants grey ?
Kang A Roo: So you can tell them from flamingos !
Harv E Roo: My Elephant isn't well, do you know a good animal doctor ?
Kang A Roo: No, all the doctors I know are people !
Harv E Roo: Why do elephants scratch themselves ?
Kang A Roo: Because they're the only ones who know where they itch !
Harv E Roo: What's the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant ?
Kang A Roo: About 3,000 miles !
Harv E Roo: What's the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry ?
Kang A Roo: A gooseberry is green !
Harv E Roo: What pill would you give to an elephant that can't sleep ?
Kang A Roo: Trunkquilizers !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What's grey and lights up ?
Kang A Roo: An electric elephant !
Harv E Roo: What's grey but turns red ?
Kang A Roo: An embarrassed elephant !
Harv E Roo: What's grey, carries a bunch of flowers and cheers you up when your ill ?
Kang A Roo: A get wellephant !
Harv E Roo: What' s big and grey with horns ?
Kang A Roo: An elephant marching band !
Harv E Roo: What grey, has a wand, huge wings and gives money to elephants ?
Kang A Roo: The tusk fairy !
Harv E Roo: What's grey, beautiful and wears glass slippers ?
Kang A Roo: Cinderelephant !
Harv E Roo: What's the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather ?
Kang A Roo: One roars with pain and the other pours with rain !
Harv E Roo: What's the difference between an elephant and a post box ?
Kang A Roo: I don't know !
Harv E Roo: Well I'm not asking you to post my letters !
Harv E Roo: What's the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil ?
Kang A Roo: One rarely bites and the other barely writes !
Harv E Roo: How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse ?
Kang A Roo: Try picking them up !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What's big and grey and protects you from the rain ?
Kang A Roo: An umbrellaphant !
Harv E Roo: What's big and grey and has 16 wheels ?
Kang A Roo: An elephant on roller skates !
Harv E Roo: What's big, grey and flies straight up ?
Kang A Roo: An elecopter !
Harv E Roo: What' s grey, has four legs and jumps up and down ?
Kang A Roo: An elephant on a trampoline !
Harv E Roo: What weighs 4 tons and is bright red ?
Kang A Roo: An elephant holding its breath !
Harv E Roo: What's blue and has big ears ?
Kang A Roo: An elephant at the North Pole !
Harv E Roo: What's grey and wrinkly and jumps every twenty seconds ?
Kang A Roo: An elephant with hiccups !
Harv E Roo: What goes up slowly and comes down quickly ?
Kang A Roo: An elephant in a lift !
Harv E Roo: What has 3 tails, 4 trunks and 6 feet ?
Kang A Roo: An elephant with spare parts !
Harv E Roo: What's as big as an elephant but weighs nothing ?
Kang A Roo: An elephant's shadow !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Dad, Mum is fighting with an enormous elephant in the garden !"
Kang A Roo: "Don't worry dear, I'm sure the elephant can look after itself !"
Harv E Roo: My elephants got no trunk ?
Kang A Roo: How does it smell ?
Harv E Roo:Terrible !
Harv E Roo: How are elephants and hippopotanuses alike ?
Kang A Roo: Neither can play basketball !
Harv E Roo: How do you stop an angry elephant from charging ?
Kang A Roo: Take away it's credit cards !
Harv E Roo: What did the baby elephant get when the daddy elephant sneezed ?
Kang A Roo: Out of the way !
Harv E Roo: Why do the elephants have short tails ?
Kang A Roo: Because they can't remember long stories !
Harv E Roo: How to you keep an elephant in suspense ?
Kang A Roo: I'll tell you tomorrow !
Harv E Roo: Why is an elephant braver than a hen ?
Kang A Roo: Because the elephant isn't chicken !
Harv E Roo: What is worse than raining cats and dogs ?
Kang A Roo: Raining elephants !
Harv E Roo: How do you raise a baby elephant ?
Kang A Roo: With a fork lift truck !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What steps would you take if you were being chased by an elephant ?
Kang A Roo: Big ones !
Harv E Roo: What do you find in an elephants graveyard ?
Kang A Roo: Elephantoms !
Harv E Roo: Why do elephants have wrinkly ankes ?
Kang A Roo: Because their shoes are too tight !
Harv E Roo: What is stronger an elephant or a snail ?
Kang A Roo: A snail, because it carries it's house, an elephant just carries its trunk !
Harv E Roo: What do you do with old cannon balls ?
Kang A Roo: Give them to elephants to use as marbles !
Harv E Roo: What do elephants do in the evenings ?
Kang A Roo: Watch elevision !
Harv E Roo: Who lost a herd of elephants ?
Kang A Roo: Big bo peep !
Harv E Roo: What is an elephants favourite film ?
Kang A Roo: Elephantasia
Harv E Roo: What do elephants say as a compliment ?
Kang A Roo: You look elephantastic !
Harv E Roo: What did the elephant say to the famous detective ?
Kang A Roo: It's ele-mentary, my dear Sherlock !”
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: "I've lost one of my elephants"
Kang A Roo: "Why don't you put an advert in the paper ?"
Harv E Roo: "Don't be silly, he can't read !"
Harv E Roo: What do you do if you find a blue elephant ?
Kang A Roo: Try and cheer him up !
Harv E Roo: Why did the elephant jump in the lake when it began to rain ?
Kang A Roo: To stop getting wet !
Harv E Roo: What is a baby elephant after he is five weeks old ?
Kang A Roo: Six weeks old !
Harv E Roo: What did the elephant say when the man grabbed him by the tail ?
Kang A Roo: This is the end of me !
Harv E Roo: "One of your elephants has been seen chasing a man on a bicycle."
Kang A Roo: "Nonsense, none of my elephants knows how to ride a bicycle !"
Harv E Roo: What to you get if you cross a parrot with an elephant ?
Kang A Roo: An animal that tells you everything that it remembers !
Harv E Roo: What do elephants sing at christmas ?
Kang A Roo: Noel-ephants, Noel-ephants...
Harv E Roo: Who do elephants get their christmas presents from ?
Kang A Roo: Elephanta Claus !
Harv E Roo: How do you hire an elephant ?
Kang A Roo: Stand it on four bricks !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Why does a dinosaur have cracks between his toes?
Kang A Roo: To carry his library card.
Harv E Roo: What's the difference between a lemon, a dinosaur and a tube of glue?
Kang A Roo: I give up.
Harv E Roo: You can squeeze a lemon, but you can't squeeze a dinosaur.
Kang A Roo: What about the glue ?
Harv E Roo:That's where you get stuck. Why don't more dinosaurs join the police force?
Kang A Roo: They can't hide behind billboards.
Harv E Roo: Why did the dinosaur walk on two legs?
Kang A Roo: To give the ants a chance.
Harv E Roo: Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon?
Kang A Roo: That's when dinosaurs are jumping out of palm trees.
Harv E Roo: Why does a dinosaur climb a tree?
Kang A Roo: To get in his nest.
Harv E Roo: What weighs two pounds, is grey and flies?
Kang A Roo: A two pound dinosaur bird.
Harv E Roo: Why do dinosaurs have long toenails on Friday?
Kang A Roo: Because their manicurist doesn't come until Saturday.
Harv E Roo: What did the man say when he saw the dinosaurs coming down the path wearing sunglasses?
Kang A Roo: Nothing! He didn't recognise them.
Harv E Roo: Why don't dinosaurs take ballet lessons?
Kang A Roo: They outgrew their leotards.
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Why do dinosaurs have wrinkles in their knees?
Kang A Roo: They stayed in the swimming pool too long.
Harv E Roo: Why do dinosaurs climb trees?
Kang A Roo: There's nothing else to climb in the jungle.
Harv E Roo: How can you tell a male dinosaur from a female dinosaur?
Kang A Roo: Ask it a question. If he answers, it's a male; if she answers, it's female.
Harv E Roo: Why did the dinosaur fall out of a palm tree?
Kang A Roo: A hippopotamus pushed him out.
Harv E Roo: Why do dinosaurs have flat feet?
Kang A Roo: They don't wear sneakers.
Harv E Roo: How can you tell if a dinosaur is visiting your house?
Kang A Roo: His tricycle will be parked outside.
Harv E Roo: Why did the dinosaur lie on his back in the water and stick his feet up?
Kang A Roo: So you could tell he wasn't a bar of soap.
Harv E Roo: Why do dinosaurs wear glasses?
Kang A Roo: To make sure they don't step on other dinosaurs.
Harv E Roo: What do you know when you see three dinosaurs walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
Kang A Roo: You need help. Whoever heard of three dinosaurs walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
Harv E Roo: What's red on the outside and green on the inside?
Kang A Roo: A dinosaur wearing red pajamas.
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Why does a milking stool have only three legs?
Kang A Roo: Because the cow has the udder.
Harv E Roo: Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle?
Kang A Roo: It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
Harv E Roo: Why don't cows ever have any money?
Kang A Roo: Because the farmers milk them dry!
Harv E Roo: Why don't the people in Sweden export cattle?
Kang A Roo: They like to keep their Stockholm!
Harv E Roo: Why is a barn so noisy?
Kang A Roo: All the cows have horns.
Harv E Roo: Why is the barn always so noisy?
Kang A Roo: All the cows have horns!
Harv E Roo: Why was he woman arrested on a cattle ranch for wearing a silk dress?
Kang A Roo: She was charged with rustling!
Harv E Roo: Why was the calf afraid?
Kang A Roo: He was a cow-herd!
Harv E Roo: Why was the calf so snobby?
Kang A Roo: He thought he was a cutlet above the rest!
Harv E Roo: Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn?
Kang A Roo: He was too much of a bully!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Why did the cow yawn when she got up?
Kang A Roo: It was just an udder day!
Harv E Roo: Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
Kang A Roo: He wanted rich milk!
Harv E Roo: Why did the farmer fence in the bull?
Kang A Roo: The farmer had too much of a steak in him to let him go!
Harv E Roo: Why did the farmer but brandy in the cow's food?
Kang A Roo: He wanted to raised stewed beef!
Harv E Roo: Why did the farmer feed his cow money?
Kang A Roo: He wanted rich milk.
Harv E Roo: Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
Kang A Roo: He wanted to see how much the milky weighed!
Harv E Roo: Why did the mooron give the bull a credit card?
Kang A Roo: He wanted to see him charge!
Harv E Roo: Why did the mooron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
Kang A Roo: He wanted her to hit the hay!
Harv E Roo: Why do cows think cooks are mean?
Kang A Roo: They whip cream!
Harv E Roo: Why does a cow wear a bell?
Kang A Roo: Because her horn doesn't work!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Why are lawyers like dairy farmers?
Kang A Roo: The milk you for all that you've got!
Harv E Roo: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?
Kang A Roo: He's got no beef.
Harv E Roo: Why can't you shock cows?
Kang A Roo: They've herd it all.
Harv E Roo: Why couldn't the cow leave the farm?
Kang A Roo: She was pasteurized!
Harv E Roo: Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers?
Kang A Roo: She heard he was a cowpuncher!
Harv E Roo: Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone?
Kang A Roo: She thought children should be seen and not herded!
Harv E Roo: Why did the chef watch the lazy cow?
Kang A Roo: He liked to see meat loaf.
Harv E Roo: Why did the cow cross the road?
Kang A Roo: It was the chicken's day off!
Harv E Roo: Why did the cow go to the doctors?
Kang A Roo: Because she was udderly exhausted!
Harv E Roo: Why did the cow jump over the moon?
Kang A Roo: To get to the Milky Way!
» Read My Lips links with: The return of the Prodigal Category
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Where do cows go on dates?
Kang A Roo: To the moovies!
Harv E Roo: Where do cows go on their space vacation?
Kang A Roo: The moooooon!
Harv E Roo: Where do cows like to live?
Kang A Roo: St. Moo-is, Moo-ssouri, and Moo Jersey.
Harv E Roo: Where do cows like to ride on trains?
Kang A Roo: In the cow-boose.
Harv E Roo: Where do Danish cows come from?
Kang A Roo: Cowpenhagenf
Harv E Roo: Where do milk shakes come from?
Kang A Roo: Nervous cows!
Harv E Roo: Where do Russian cows come from?
Kang A Roo: Moscow!
Harv E Roo: Where do steers go to dance?
Kang A Roo: To the Meat Ball!
Harv E Roo: Where does a cow stop to drink?
Kang A Roo: The milky way!
Harv E Roo: Why are cpws made for dancing?
Kang A Roo: They're all born hoofers!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What's a moo hoo for a young calf?
Kang A Roo: A new moo!
Harv E Roo: What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Kang A Roo: Grass class!
Harv E Roo: What's a moo hoo for the sound you hear when a cow spits?
Kang A Roo: A cud thud!
Harv E Roo: What's another name for a cowhand?
Kang A Roo: Hamburger helper!
Harv E Roo: When a bull wants to listen to a cassette, what does he put on his head?
Kang A Roo: Steer phones!
Harv E Roo: When is a farmer like a magician?
Kang A Roo: When he turns his cow into pasture.
Harv E Roo: When was beef the highest?
Kang A Roo: When the cow jumped over the moon!
Harv E Roo: Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
Kang A Roo: In his beef case!
Harv E Roo: Where did the mooron take the baby cow to eat?
Kang A Roo: To the calf-ateria!
Harv E Roo: Where do cows go on dates?
Kang A Roo: The moo-vies!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What's a cow's favorite moosical note?
Kang A Roo: Beef-flat!
Harv E Roo: What's a moo hoo for a baby cow's giggle?
Kang A Roo: A calf laugh!
Harv E Roo: What's a moo hoo for a bull's haircut?
Kang A Roo: A steer shear!
Harv E Roo: What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
Kang A Roo: A nerd herd!
Harv E Roo: What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner?
Kang A Roo: Cow chow!
Harv E Roo: What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
Kang A Roo: A merry dairy!
Harv E Roo: What's a moo hoo for a cow's cud?
Kang A Roo: A moo chew!
Harv E Roo: What's a moo hoo for a darling bull?
Kang A Roo: A dear steer!
Harv E Roo: What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer?
Kang A Roo: A full bull!
Harv E Roo: What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
Kang A Roo: A bull pull!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What kind of cow goes, "Beeeeep, beeeeep!"
Kang A Roo: A longhorn!
Harv E Roo: What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Kang A Roo: Eski-moos!
Harv E Roo: What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand?
Kang A Roo: Cows-mopolitan!
Harv E Roo: What newspaper do cows read?
Kang A Roo: The Daily Moos.
Harv E Roo: What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Kang A Roo: Cowboom!
Harv E Roo: What South American dance do cows like to do?
Kang A Roo: The Rump-a
Harv E Roo: What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you?
Kang A Roo: Your calves!
Harv E Roo: What US state has the most cows?
Kang A Roo: Moosouri!
Harv E Roo: What would you get if you crossed a cow with a rabbit?
Kang A Roo: Hare in your milk!
Harv E Roo: What would you hear at a cow concert?
Kang A Roo: Moo-sic!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What is a moo hoo for a cow that fell into the thresher?
Kang A Roo: Ground round!
Harv E Roo: What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner?
Kang A Roo: A charmer farmer!
Harv E Roo: What is a moo hoo for a sheepish steer?
Kang A Roo: A woolly bully!
Harv E Roo: What is a moo hoo for steak that came late?
Kang A Roo: Filet delay!
Harv E Roo: What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow?
Kang A Roo: A tail pail!
Harv E Roo: What is the daffynition of "derange"?
Kang A Roo: De place where de cowboys ride!
Harv E Roo: What is the daffynition of "moon"?
Kang A Roo: The past tense of "moo"!
Harv E Roo: What is the golden rule for cows?
Kang A Roo: Do unto udders as you would have udders do to you!
Harv E Roo: What is the most important use for cowhide?
Kang A Roo: To hold the cow together.
Harv E Roo: What kind of bulls giggle?
Kang A Roo: Laughingstock!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What game do little cows like to play?
Kang A Roo: Moonopoly.
Harv E Roo: What gives milk and has a horn?
Kang A Roo: A milk tank!
Harv E Roo: What goes oo ooo oooo?
Kang A Roo: A cow with no lips.
Harv E Roo: What hair style is a calf s favorite?
Kang A Roo: The cowlick!
Harv E Roo: What happened to the lost cattle?
Kang A Roo: Nobody's herd.
Harv E Roo: What happens when a cow stops shaving?
Kang A Roo: It grows a Moostache.
Harv E Roo: What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Kang A Roo: Udder chaos!
Harv E Roo: What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
Kang A Roo: A cow walking backwards!
Harv E Roo: What is a calf after it is six months old?
Kang A Roo: Seven months old!
Harv E Roo: What is a cow's favorite lunch meat?
Kang A Roo: Bullogna
Harv E Roo: What is a moo hoo for a cow fight?
Kang A Roo: A cattle battle!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken?
Kang A Roo: Roost beef!
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross Bossy with a vampire?
Kang A Roo: Dracowla!
Harv E Roo: What do you get when you cross a cow with a kangaroo?
Kang A Roo: A kangamoo!
Harv E Roo: What do you get when you cross a rooster and a cow?
Kang A Roo: Cockadoodlemoo!
Harv E Roo: What do you use this rope for?
Kang A Roo: I use it to catch cattle.
Harv E Roo: Oh really? What do you use for bait?
Harv E Roo: What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
Kang A Roo: Roast Moosmallows!
Harv E Roo: What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
Kang A Roo: A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle!
Harv E Roo: What does an invisible man drink?
Kang A Roo: Evaporated milk!
Harv E Roo: What famous painting do cows love to look at?
Kang A Roo: The Moona Lisa!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What do you get from a cowmedian?
Kang A Roo: Cream of Wit!
Harv E Roo: What do you get from a forgetful cow?
Kang A Roo: Milk of amnesia!
Harv E Roo: What do you get from a short-legged cow?
Kang A Roo: Dragon milk!
Harv E Roo: What do you get from an invisible cow?
Kang A Roo: Evaporated milk!
Harv E Roo: What do you get from pampered cows?
Kang A Roo: Spoiled milk!
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cow and a threshing machine?
Kang A Roo: A lawn mooer!
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
Kang A Roo: A cockerpoodlemoo!
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache?
Kang A Roo: A bad mood!
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa?
Kang A Roo: A cowch potato!
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight?
Kang A Roo: Sir Loin!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
Kang A Roo: A hole-y Cow!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a cow that's just had a baby?
Kang A Roo: De-calfinated!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
Kang A Roo: A lawn moo-er.
Harv E Roo: What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office?
Kang A Roo: An encownter group.
Harv E Roo: What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
Kang A Roo: Laughing stock.
Harv E Roo: What do you call explosive cow vomit?
Kang A Roo: A cud missle!
Harv E Roo: What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Kang A Roo: Steer Wars.
Harv E Roo: What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull?
Kang A Roo: A steak-out!
Harv E Roo: What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Kang A Roo: Cold cream!
Harv E Roo: What do you get from a cow with a split personality?
Kang A Roo: Half and half!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
Kang A Roo: An udder failure.
Harv E Roo: What do you call a cow that plays the guitar?
Kang A Roo: A Moosician!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a cow who argues with her husband?
Kang A Roo: A bullfighter!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a cow with no front legs?
Kang A Roo: Lean Beef
Harv E Roo: What do you call a cow with no legs at all?
Kang A Roo: Ground beef
Harv E Roo: What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit?
Kang A Roo: The first herd shot round the world!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a sleeping bull?
Kang A Roo: A bull-dozer.
Harv E Roo: What do you call a sleeping steer?
Kang A Roo: A bull dozer!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a tired cow?
Kang A Roo: Milked out!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
Kang A Roo: A milk dud!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What do cows get when they do all their chores?
Kang A Roo: Mooney.
Harv E Roo: What do cows like to do at amoosement parks?
Kang A Roo: Ride on the roller cowster.
Harv E Roo: What do cows like to listen to?
Kang A Roo: Moo-sic!
Harv E Roo: What do cows read at the breakfast table?
Kang A Roo: The moospaper!
Harv E Roo: What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties?
Kang A Roo: "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo
Harv E Roo: What do cows usually fly around in?
Kang A Roo: Helicowpters and Bulloons.
Harv E Roo: What do cows wear when they're vacationing in Hawaii?
Kang A Roo: Moo moos
Harv E Roo: What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine?
Kang A Roo: Hamburger!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat?
Kang A Roo: Shipped beef!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
Kang A Roo: Ground Beef
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What band is a cow favorite?
Kang A Roo: Moody Blues
Harv E Roo: What country do cows love to visit?
Kang A Roo: Moo Zealand!
Harv E Roo: What did one dairy cow say to another?
Kang A Roo: Got milk?
Harv E Roo: What did the calf say to the silo?
Kang A Roo: "Is my fodder in there?"
Harv E Roo: What did the cow wear to the football game?
Kang A Roo: A Jersey.
Harv E Roo: What did the mooron say when he saw the milk cartons in the grass?
Kang A Roo: "Hey! Look at the cow's nest!"
Harv E Roo: What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Kang A Roo: Old Moo Eyes!
Harv E Roo: What do cows do for entertainment?
Kang A Roo: They go to the mooooovies.
Harv E Roo: What do cows do when they're introduced?
Kang A Roo: They give each other a milk shake!
Harv E Roo: What do cows get when they are sick?
Kang A Roo: Hay Fever
» Beyond the Black Hole links with: Answering Idiots is the name of the game
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk!
Kang A Roo: But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
Harv E Roo: Pa's being chased by a bull!
Kang A Roo: Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?
Harv E Roo: Get me some film for my camera!
Harv E Roo: Name five things that contain milk.
Kang A Roo: Butter, cheese, ice cream ... and two cows!
Harv E Roo: That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing!
Kang A Roo: I told you he was a bum steer!
Harv E Roo: That tornado damage your cow barn any?
Kang A Roo: Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet!
Harv E Roo: What advice to cows give?
Kang A Roo: Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!
Harv E Roo: What animals do you bring to bed?
Kang A Roo: Your calves.
Harv E Roo: What are cows favorite party games?
Kang A Roo: MOO-sical chairs!
Harv E Roo: What are the spots on black-and-white cows?
Kang A Roo: Holstaines
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: If a bull is chasing you, what steps should you take?
Kang A Roo: The longest ones I could!
Harv E Roo: If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get?
Kang A Roo: Half and half!
Harv E Roo: If you crossed a cow with an insect, what would you get?
Kang A Roo: A moosquito!
Harv E Roo: If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get?
Kang A Roo: "Beeflt!"
Harv E Roo: If you crossed two cows with a flock of ducks, what would you get?
Kang A Roo: Milk and quackers!
Harv E Roo: If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first?
Kang A Roo: The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull!
Harv E Roo: If you make a cow angry, how will she get even?
Kang A Roo: She'll cream you!
Harv E Roo: If you see a whole field of cows, what's a fast way to figure out how many cattle there are?
Kang A Roo: Count the hooves and divide by four!
Harv E Roo: In what state will you find the most cows?
Kang A Roo: Moo York!
Harv E Roo: Is there big money in the cattle business?
Kang A Roo: So I've herd!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: How did the calf s final exam turn out?
Kang A Roo: Grade A!
Harv E Roo: How did the cow feel when she couldn't give any milk?
Kang A Roo: Like an udder failure!
Harv E Roo: How did the farmer find his lost cow?
Kang A Roo: He tractor down
Harv E Roo: How do bulls drive their cars?
Kang A Roo: They steer them!
Harv E Roo: How do you make a milkshake?
Kang A Roo: Give a cow a pogo stick.
Harv E Roo: How does a cow do math?
Kang A Roo: With a cowculator!
Harv E Roo: How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
Kang A Roo: It's a place of udder delight.
Harv E Roo: I broke three wild bulls this morning.
Kang A Roo: How careless of you!
Harv E Roo: I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm.
Kang A Roo: Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?
Harv E Roo: I'd look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!
Harv E Roo:I hear you take milk baths.
Kang A Roo: That's right.
Harv E Roo: Why?
Kang A Roo: I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby.
Kang A Roo: Say, farmer. Is that bull safe?
Harv E Roo: Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!
Harv E Roo: A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked.
Kang A Roo: "Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.
Harv E Roo: Cow: Why don't you shoo those flies?
Kang A Roo: Bull: I'll let them go barefoot!
Harv E Roo: Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?
Kang A Roo: No! Did he hurt the cows?
Harv E Roo: No, he just grazed them!
Harv E Roo: Did you hear about the snobby cow?
Kang A Roo: She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!
Harv E Roo: Did you hear that Canada sold the U.S. a large herd of bison?
Kang A Roo: Did Canada send the U.S. a buffalo bill?
Harv E Roo: Did you know that I'm a dairy maid at a chocolate factory?
Kang A Roo: That's strange. What do you do?
Harv E Roo: I milk chocolates!
Harv E Roo: Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual?
Kang A Roo: No, only medium rare!
Harv E Roo: How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
Kang A Roo: They were very impressed!
Harv E Roo: How did that bullfight come out?
Kang A Roo: Oh, it was a toss-up!
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the road half way ?
Kang A Roo: He wanted to lay it on the line !
Harv E Roo: What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
Kang A Roo: They go on peck-nics !
Harv E Roo: What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy ?
Kang A Roo: "You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours!"
Harv E Roo: Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
Kang A Roo: He wasn't what he was cracked up to be !
Harv E Roo: Is chicken soup good for your health ?
Kang A Roo: Not if you're the chicken !
Harv E Roo: What do chickens serve at birthday parties ?
Kang A Roo: Coop-cakes !
Harv E Roo: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn ?
Kang A Roo: An eggroll !
Harv E Roo: What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg ?
Kang A Roo: The bombshell !
Harv E Roo: Which day of the week do chickens hate most ?
Kang A Roo: Fry-day !
Harv E Roo: What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg ?
Kang A Roo: It eggs-plodes !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Why did the cow cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To get to the udder side !
Harv E Roo: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Kang A Roo: Because it was stuck to the chicken !
Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the "net" ?
Kang A Roo: It wanted to get to the other site !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ?
Kang A Roo: An alarm cluck !
Harv E Roo: What does an alarm cluck say ?
Kang A Roo: "Tick-tock-a-doodle-doo !"
Harv E Roo: Why does a chicken coop have two doors ?
Kang A Roo: Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!
Harv E Roo: How long do chickens work ?
Kang A Roo: Around the cluck !
Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To prove to the possum that it could be done !
Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken end up in the soup ?
Kang A Roo: Because it ran out of cluck !
Harv E Roo: Why did the cow cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To go to the moooooovies !
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To get to the other side
Harv E Roo: Why did the rooster cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To cockadoodle dooo something
Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
Kang A Roo: He heard the referee calling fowls
Harv E Roo: Why did the turkey cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To prove he wasn't chicken
Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again ?
Kang A Roo: Because he was a dirty double-crosser
Harv E Roo: Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: Because he didn't have enough guts
Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the playground ?
Kang A Roo: To get to the other slide
Harv E Roo: Why did the dinosaur cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: Because chickens hadn't evolved yet
Harv E Roo: Why did the turtle cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To get to the shell station
Harv E Roo: Why did the horse cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: Because the chicken needed a day off
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a crazy chicken ?
Kang A Roo: A cuckoo cluck !
Harv E Roo: What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way ?
Kang A Roo: She was tickled to death !
Harv E Roo: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?
Kang A Roo: A bird that lays down !
Harv E Roo: Why don't chickens like people ?
Kang A Roo: They beat eggs !
Harv E Roo: Why did the rooster run away ?
Kang A Roo: He was chicken !
Harv E Roo: What do chickens grow on ?
Kang A Roo: Eggplants !
Harv E Roo: Why is it easy for chicks to talk ?
Kang A Roo: Because talk is cheep !
Harv E Roo: What happens when a hen eats gunpowder ?
Kang A Roo: She lays hand gren-eggs !
Harv E Roo: What happened when the chicken ate cement ?
Kang A Roo: She laid a sidewalk !
Harv E Roo: What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken ?
Kang A Roo: She kicked the bucket !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Wave the magic wand over Kang's answers too see them!!! Magic!
Harv E Roo: What looks like half a cat ?
Kang A Roo: The other half !
Harv E Roo: What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool ?
Kang A Roo: She had mittens !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ?
Kang A Roo: A carrot !
Harv E Roo: How do cats eat spaghetti ?
Kang A Roo: The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths!
Harv E Roo: What is a French cat's favourite pudding ?
Kang A Roo: Chocolate mousse !
Harv E Roo: What do cat actors say on stage ?
Kang A Roo: Tabby or not tabby !
Harv E Roo: What did the cat say when he lost all his money ?
Kang A Roo: I'm paw !
Harv E Roo: How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold ?
Kang A Roo: He has cat-arrh !
Harv E Roo: How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling ?
Kang A Roo: She's got that down in the mouth look !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla ?
Kang A Roo: An animal that puts you out a night !
Harv E Roo: Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin ?
Kang A Roo: There was some money in the kitty !
Harv E Roo: Why did the cat sleep under the car ?
Kang A Roo: Because she wanted to wake up oily !
Cheers!
Last Call »Bullshit so far »
Dumb Ass Jokes
To learn the answer to the funny joke, wave your magic wand over Kang A Roo's space! Not that wand, Pervey!
Harv E Roo: Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit ?
Kang A Roo: They are both ginger nuts !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck ?
Kang A Roo: A duck filled fatty puss !
Harv E Roo: What kind of cat should you take into the desert ?
Kang A Roo: A first aid kitty !
Harv E Roo: Why do cats chase birds ?
Kang A Roo: For a lark !
Harv E Roo: What do cats read in the morning ?
Kang A Roo: Mewspapers !
Harv E Roo: On what should you mount a statue of your cat ?
Kang A Roo: A caterpillar !
Harv E Roo: How is a cat laying down like a coin ?
Kang A Roo: Because he has his head on one side and his tail on the other !
Harv E Roo: What cat purrs more than any other ?
Kang A Roo: Purrsians !
Harv E Roo: How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters ?
Kang A Roo: C-A-T !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if cross a Tomcat with a Pekingese?
Kang A Roo: A Peking Tom !
Cheers!
Last Call »Bullshit so far »
Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: What do you do with a blue Burmese ?
Kang A Roo: Try and cheer it up a bit !
Harv E Roo: What is the cat's favourite TV show ?
Kang A Roo: The evening mews !
Harv E Roo: What's worse than raining cats and dogs ?
Kang A Roo: Hailing taxi cabs !
Harv E Roo: How is cat food sold ?
Kang A Roo: Usually purr can !
Harv E Roo: What noise does a cat make going down the highway ?
Kang A Roo: Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if cross a cat with a canary ?
Kang A Roo: Shredded tweet !
Harv E Roo: What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have ?
Kang A Roo: A catastrophe !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree ?
Kang A Roo: A cat-a-logue !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim ?
Kang A Roo: An octopuss !
Harv E Roo: Why did the cat join the Red Cross ?
Kang A Roo: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Who was the most powerful cat in China ?
Kang A Roo: Chairman Miaow !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar ?
Kang A Roo: A sourpuss !
Harv E Roo: What is cleverer than a talking cat ?
Kang A Roo: A spelling bee !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary ?
Kang A Roo: A peeping tom !
Harv E Roo: How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
Kang A Roo: They never cry over spilt milk !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas ?
Kang A Roo: Santa Claws !
Harv E Roo: Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house ?
Kang A Roo: Because she heard fowl language !
Harv E Roo: There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out. How many were left ?
Kang A Roo: None. They were all copy cats !
Harv E Roo: What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea ?
Kang A Roo: A catameringue !
Harv E Roo: Why do tomcats fight ?
Kang A Roo: Because they like raising a stink !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Harv E Roo: Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge ?
Kang A Roo: Because it turns "ice" into "mice" !
Harv E Roo: When the cat's away.....?
Kang A Roo: The house smells better !
Harv E Roo: Why was the cat so small ?
Kang A Roo: Because it only ate condensed milk !
Harv E Roo: Why did the cat cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: It was the chicken's day off !
Harv E Roo: What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws ?
Kang A Roo: An acrocat !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a cat wearing shoes ?
Kang A Roo: Puss in boots !
Harv E Roo: What does a cat call a bowl of mice ?
Kang A Roo: A purrfect meal !
Harv E Roo: What is another way to describe a cat ?
Kang A Roo: A heat seeking missile !
Harv E Roo: What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese ?
Kang A Roo: He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath !
Harv E Roo: Why are cars longer in the evening than they are in the morning?
Kang A Roo: Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the morning !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.
Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!
Kang A Roo: Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?
Harv E Roo: A frog in a blender !
Kang A Roo: Whats yellow and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?
Harv E Roo: A mouldy frog in a blender !
Kang A Roo: Why was the frog down in the mouth ?
Harv E Roo: He was un hoppy !
Kang A Roo: How do frogs die ?
Harv E Roo: They kermit suicide !
Kang A Roo: What's a frogs favorite flower ?
Harv E Roo: A croakus !
Kang A Roo: Whats a frogs favorite game ?
Harv E Roo: It's croak-et !
Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog ?
Harv E Roo: A croaker spaniel !
Kang A Roo: What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad ?
Harv E Roo: Star Warts !
Kang A Roo: What kind of shoes to frogs like ?
Harv E Roo: Open toad sandals !
Kang A Roo: What do you call the English Toad Prize giving cermony ?
Harv E Roo: The Brit Awarts !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Harv E Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Harv E Roo to Kang A. Roo
Madfish Willie's is the #3 & #4 & #10 Google search result for: another word for dumb ass!
Harv E Roo: What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
Kang A Roo: An aardvark with the sniffles!
Harv E Roo: What does an aardvark use when he has a cold?
Kang A Roo: An ant-ihistamine!
Harv E Roo: What command does the aardvark give most often when he sails?
Kang A Roo: Snout about!
Harv E Roo: What does the aardvark take sailing?
Kang A Roo: An aard ark!
Harv E Roo: How do ants hide from aardvarks?
Kang A Roo: They disguise themselves as uncles!
Harv E Roo: Why do aardvarks like to talk to ants?
Kang A Roo: They can stick to the subject!
Harv E Roo: Why was Easter the aardvark's favorite holiday?
Kang A Roo: Because he liked aard-boiled eggs!
Harv E Roo: What has 200 legs, 50 noses, and is very loud?
Kang A Roo: A herd of stampeding aardvarks!
Harv E Roo: Where does the aardvark family always come first?
Kang A Roo: In the phone book!
Harv E Roo: What do you call a boxing match between two aardvarks?
Kang A Roo: A snout bout!
Cheers!
Jokes by Harv E Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Harv E Roo to Kang A. Roo
Madfish Willie's is the #3 & #4 & #10 Google search result for: another word for dumb ass!
Harv E Roo: Who loves hamburgers, French fries, and ants?
Kang A Roo: Ronald MacAardvark!
Harv E Roo: What is uglier than an aardvark?
Kang A Roo: Two aardvarks!
Harv E Roo: What does the aardvark call his dog?
Kang A Roo: Aard-bark!
Harv E Roo: What is the difference between an aardvark and a coyote?
Kang A Roo: One has a long smeller, the other, a loud yeller!
Harv E Roo: What does an aardvark take for ant-digestion?
Kang A Roo: Anta-Seltzer!
Harv E Roo: What does an aardvark get when he overeats?
Kang A Roo: Ant-digestion!
Harv E Roo: What does an aardvark keep in his aquarium?
Kang A Roo: An aard-shark!
Harv E Roo: Who's the aardvark's favorite female vocalist?
Kang A Roo: Bearbara Streis-ant!
Harv E Roo: Who's aardvark's favorite male singer?
Kang A Roo: Frank Sinostril!
Harv E Roo: What are the aardvark's favorite Beatle's songs?
Kang A Roo: It's Been an Aards Day's Night and I Want to Hold Your Ant!
Cheers!
Jokes by Harv E Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Harv E Roo to Kang A. Roo
Madfish Willie's is the #3 & #4 & #10 Google search result for: another word for dumb ass!
Harv E Roo: Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper ?
Kang A Roo: He had his own frog horn !
Harv E Roo: What did the bus conductor ay to the frog ?
Kang A Roo: Hop on !
Harv E Roo: What do you say to a hitchhiking frog ?
Kang A Roo: Hop in !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry ?
Kang A Roo: A hoppercraft !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy ?
Kang A Roo: Hoppalong Cassidy !
Harv E Roo: When is a car like a frog ?
Kang A Roo: When it's becing toad !
Harv E Roo: Why do frogs have webbed feet ?
Kang A Roo: To stamp out forest fires !
Harv E Roo: What do you say if you meet a toad ?
Kang A Roo: Wart's new !
Harv E Roo: Whats green and can jump a mile a minute ?
Kang A Roo: A frog with hiccups !
Harv E Roo: Why did the lizard go on a diet ?
Kang A Roo: It weighed too much for its scales !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Harv E Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Harv E Roo to Kang A. Roo
Madfish Willie's is the #3 & #4 & #10 Google search result for: another word for dumb ass!
Harv E Roo: What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house ?
Kang A Roo: The Lizard of Oz !
Harv E Roo: What's the definition of a nervous breakdown ?
Kang A Roo: A chameleon on a tartan rug !
Harv E Roo: How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs ?
Kang A Roo: They sit eggsaminations !
Harv E Roo: What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls ?
Kang A Roo: Reptiles !
Harv E Roo: What do you call a rich frog ?
Kang A Roo: A golf blooded reptile !
Harv E Roo: What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common ?
Kang A Roo: Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth !
Harv E Roo: What kind of bull doesn't have horns ?
Kang A Roo: A bullfrog !
Harv E Roo: What jumps up and down in front of a car ?
Kang A Roo: Froglights !
Harv E Roo: Where do frogs keep their money ?
Kang A Roo: In a river bank !
Harv E Roo: What happened when a frog joined the cricket team ?
Kang A Roo: He bowled long hops !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Harv E Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Harv E Roo to Kang A. Roo
Madfish Willie's is the #3 & #4 & #10 Google search result for: another word for dumb ass!
Harv E Roo: Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?
Kang A Roo: A frog in a blender !
Harv E Roo: Whats yellow and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?
Kang A Roo: A mouldy frog in a blender !
Harv E Roo: Why was the frog down in the mouth ?
Kang A Roo: He was un hoppy !
Harv E Roo: How do frogs die ?
Kang A Roo: They kermit suidide !
Harv E Roo: What's a frogs favourite flower ?
Kang A Roo: A croakus !
Harv E Roo: Whats a frogs favourite game ?
Kang A Roo: It's croak-et !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog ?
Kang A Roo: A croaker spaniel !
Harv E Roo: What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad ?
Kang A Roo: Star Warts !
Harv E Roo: What kind of shoes to frogs like ?
Kang A Roo: Open toad sandals !
Harv E Roo: What do you call the English Toad Prize giving cermony ?
Kang A Roo: The Brit Awarts !
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo
Kang A Roo: Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants ?
Harv E Roo: They always want to play leap frog with him !
Kang A Roo: Why is a frog luckier than a cat ?
Harv E Roo: Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times !
Kang A Roo: What's a toad's favourite ballet ?
Harv E Roo: Swamp Lake !
Kang A Roo: What do toads drink ?
Harv E Roo: Croaka-cola !
Kang A Roo: What do frogs drink ?
Harv E Roo: Hot croako !
Kang A Roo: What's green a slimy and found at the North Pole ?
Harv E Roo: A lost frog !
Kang A Roo: Where do frogs keep their treasure ?
Harv E Roo: In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow !
Kang A Roo: What do you call a 100 year old frog ?
Harv E Roo: An old croak !
Kang A Roo: What do you get if cross a frog with some mist ?
Harv E Roo: Kermit the Fog !
Kang A Roo: What's a toads favourite sweet ?
Harv E Roo: Lollihops !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo
Kang A Roo: What do you call a frog spy ?
Harv E Roo: A croak and dagger agent !
Kang A Roo: What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair ?
Harv E Roo: Lily !
Kang A Roo: What do Scottish toads play ?
Harv E Roo: Hop-scotch !
Kang A Roo: How did the toad die ?
Harv E Roo: He simply croaked !
Kang A Roo: What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak ?
Harv E Roo: Morse toad !
Kang A Roo: Whats the world weakest animal ?
Harv E Roo: A toad, he croaks if you even touch him !
Kang A Roo: Whats white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions ?
Harv E Roo: A hot frog !
Kang A Roo: What happens if you eat a hot frog ?
Harv E Roo: You'll croak in no time !
Kang A Roo: Where do frogs leave their hats and coats ?
Harv E Roo: In the croakroom !
Kang A Roo: What's green and tough ?
Harv E Roo: A toad with a machine gun !
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo
Kang A Roo: Where do sheep go for their holidays in winter?
Harv E Roo: The Baahaamaas.
Kang A Roo: Where do sheep go for their holidays in England?
Harv E Roo: Ramsgate.
Kang A Roo: Where do sheep shop?
Harv E Roo: Woolworth's.
Kang A Roo: Where do Southern sheep come from?
Harv E Roo: Ewell.
Kang A Roo: Who is the sheep's favourite singer?
Harv E Roo: Baabara Streisand.
Kang A Roo: Why did Bo Peep lose her sheep ?
Harv E Roo: She had a crook with her !
Kang A Roo: Why did the ram fall over the cliff ?
Harv E Roo: He didn't see the ewe turn !
Kang A Roo: Why did the sheep stay quiet all day?
Harv E Roo: He didn't believe in bleating between meals.
Kang A Roo: Why didn't the dozy farmer know how many sheep he had?
Harv E Roo: Whenever he tried to count them, he fell asleep!
Kang A Roo: Why do sheep like pubs?
Harv E Roo: Because they're full of baas.
Kang A Roo: Why don't sheep have much money?
Harv E Roo: Because they're always getting fleeced.
Kang A Roo: Why was the lamb told off for being rude ?
Harv E Roo: He would not say 'thank ewe' to his mum !
Kang A Roo: Why was the sheep arrested on the M1?
Harv E Roo: Because it did a ewe-turn.
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo
Kang A Roo: What is the sheep's favourite song?
Harv E Roo: I've got plenty of mutton.'
Kang A Roo: What keeps sheep warm at night?
Harv E Roo: Central bleating.
Kang A Roo: What lives under water and bleats at ships?
Harv E Roo: A ewe-boat
Kang A Roo: What sheep is strong enough to hold up the world?
Harv E Roo: Herc-ewe-les.
Kang A Roo: What side of a sheep has the most wool?
Harv E Roo: The outside.
Kang A Roo: Where are newborn lambs kept?
Harv E Roo: In an inc-ewe-bator.
Kang A Roo: Where do London sheep live?
Harv E Roo: Lambeth.
Kang A Roo: Where do Northern sheep come from?
Harv E Roo: Baarnard Castle.
Kang A Roo: Where do sheep get shorn ?
Harv E Roo: At the baa baas !
Kang A Roo: Where do sheep go for their holidays in summer?
Harv E Roo: Baali.
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo
Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a goat and a cow?
Harv E Roo: The Milky Baa Kid.
Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a hedgehog?
Harv E Roo: An animal that knits its own sweaters.
Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
Harv E Roo: A woolly jumper.
Kang A Roo: What else?
Harv E Roo: A jumper with pockets.
Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with an elephant?
Harv E Roo: Enough wool to knit a skyscraper.
Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with an octopus?
Harv E Roo: A sweater with eight sleeves!
Kang A Roo: What has fleece and big muscles?
Harv E Roo: Rambo.
Kang A Roo: What has fleece and fangs?
Harv E Roo: Drac-ewe-la.
Kang A Roo: What is the sheep's favourite musician?
Harv E Roo: Chris Baaber.
Kang A Roo: What is the sheep's favourite pop group?
Harv E Roo: The Pet Sheep Boys.
Cheers!
» TreyGivens.com links with: New Roo Jokes!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo
Kang A Roo: What do sheep like to listen to at discos?
Harv E Roo: Ewe 2 and Ewe B 40.
Kang A Roo: What do sheep wear for work?
Harv E Roo: Ewe-niforms.
Kang A Roo: What do you call a sheep in the rain?
Harv E Roo: A wet blanket.
Kang A Roo: What do you call a sheep who tells sheep jokes?
Harv E Roo: A ewe-morist
Kang A Roo: What do you call a sheep with no legs or head ?
Harv E Roo: A cloud !
Kang A Roo: What do you call sheep that live together ?
Harv E Roo: Pen friends !
Kang A Roo: What do you get if a sheep walks under a cloud ?
Harv E Roo: A sheep that's under the weather !
Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a lamb with a penguin?
Harv E Roo: A sheepskin dinner jacket.
Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a banana?
Harv E Roo: A baanaanaa!
Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a gnu?
Harv E Roo: A new ewe.
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo
Kang A Roo: Did you hear about the daft farmer who took up sheep farming?
Harv E Roo: He failed because he planted them too close together!
Kang A Roo: Did you hear about the accountant who counted sheep in bed?
Harv E Roo: He made a mistake in the first hour, and lay awake all night trying to figure it out!
Kang A Roo: 'Doctor, doctor, I can't sleep a wink.'
Harv E Roo: 'Have you tried counting sheep? '
Kang A Roo: 'Yes, I counted 842,511 - and then it was time to get up!'
Kang A Roo: 'Doctor, doctor, I've just swallowed a sheep!'
Harv E Roo: 'How do you feel? '
Kang A Roo: "Very baad!'
Kang A Roo: How do sheep get to sleep?
Harv E Roo: By counting people.
Kang A Roo: How do sheep keep warm in winter ?
Harv E Roo: Central bleating !
Kang A Roo: If dogs have fleas, what do sheep have?
Harv E Roo: Fleece.
Kang A Roo: What did one sheep say to the other?
Harv E Roo: I love ewe.
Kang A Roo: What did the well mannered sheep say to his friend at the field gate ?
Harv E Roo: Afer ewe !
Kang A Roo: What do sheep find there?
Harv E Roo: Baagains.
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo
Kang A Roo: What did the squirrel say to his girl-friend?
Harv E Roo: I'm nuts about you.
Kang A Roo: What did the girl squirrel answer back?
Harv E Roo: "You're nuts so bad yourself."
Kang A Roo: Doctor, doctor, I'm frightened of squirrels.
Harv E Roo: You must be nuts,
Kang A Roo: How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden ?
Harv E Roo: Hide the ball, it drives them nuts !
Kang A Roo: If you're crazy about chess, why should you keep away from squirrels?
Harv E Roo: Because squirrels eat chestnuts (chess nuts).
Kang A Roo: What animals use nutcrackers?
Harv E Roo: Toothless squirrels.
Kang A Roo: What do squirrels give each other on Valentine's Day?
Harv E Roo: Forget-me-nuts.
Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
Harv E Roo: An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
Harv E Roo: An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.
Kang A Roo: What's the best way to catch a squirrel?
Harv E Roo: Climb a tree and act like a nut.
Kang A Roo: Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
Harv E Roo: To the nut-house.
Kang A Roo: Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
Harv E Roo: To stay away from the nuts on the ground!
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a horse?
Second Kangaroo: Whinny The Pooh!
First Kangaroo: Did you hear about the argumentative skunk?
Second Kangaroo: He always liked to make a stink!
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon?
Second Kangaroo: A creature that stinks to high heaven!
First Kangaroo: What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?
Second Kangaroo: Odour in court!
First Kangaroo: What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?
Second Kangaroo: Deja phew!
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
Second Kangaroo: A bird that stinks but doesn’t give a hoot!
First Kangaroo: What do you call a flying skunk?
A smellicopter!
First Kangaroo: What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?
He stank to the bottom of the pool!
First Kangaroo: What did one skunk say to another?
Second Kangaroo: And so do you!
First Kangaroo: Why can't skunks keep secrets?
Second Kangaroo: Because someone is always getting wind of them!
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »» Ramblings of SilverBlue links with: Thursday's Edition of Link-Luv™
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?
Second Kangaroo: Because he had a stinking cold!
First Kangaroo: Two skunks were being chased by a bear. As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said “Whatever shall we do?”
Second Kangaroo: “Let us spray!” replied the other.
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a chicken and a skunk?
Second Kangaroo: A fowl smell!
First Kangaroo: Why was the skunk angry?
Second Kangaroo: He was incensed!
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a wasp?
Second Kangaroo: Something that stinks and stings!
First Kangaroo: How are skunks able to avoid danger?
Second Kangaroo: By using their instinks and common scents!
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin?
Second Kangaroo: Pingu-Pong!
First Kangaroo: When should you feel sorry for a skunk?
Second Kangaroo: When its spray pump is out of order!
First Kangaroo: What's black and white and red all over?
Second Kangaroo: A skunk with sunburn!
First Kangaroo: Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan?
Second Kangaroo: He got cut off without a scent!
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »» TreyGivens.com links with: Is It A Southern Thing?
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: Did you hear the joke about the skunk?
Second Kangaroo: Never mind, it stinks!
First Kangaroo: How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?
Second Kangaroo: Just a phew!
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?
Second Kangaroo: A stinkasaurus!
First Kangaroo: How can you tell when a skunk is angry?
Second Kangaroo: It raises a stink!
First Kangaroo: How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk?
Second Kangaroo: A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant!
First Kangaroo: What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Second Kangaroo: Show and smell!
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang?
Second Kangaroo: A smell that keeps coming back!
First Kangaroo: What did the forgetful skunk say when the wind changed direction?
Second Kangaroo: It’s all coming back to me now!
First Kangaroo: What did the baby skunk want to be when he grew up?
Second Kangaroo: A big stinker!
First Kangaroo: What's a skunk's philosophy of life?
Second Kangaroo: Eat, stink and be merry!
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What do baby pythons play with ?
Second Kangaroo: Rattle snakes !
First Kangaroo: What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers ?
Second Kangaroo: Fang letters !
First Kangaroo: What's long, green and goes hith ?
Second Kangaroo: A snake with a lisp !
First Kangaroo: "So glad to meet you" said the Hindu politely ?
Second Kangaroo: "Charmed I'm sure ", replied the snake !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball ?
Second Kangaroo: A bouncing baby boa !
First Kangaroo: What snakes are found on cars ?
Second Kangaroo: Windscreen vipers !
First Kangaroo: Why did some snakes disobey Noah when he said "Go forth and multiply" ?
Second Kangaroo: They couldn't, they were adders !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »» TreyGivens.com links with: Forwarded Email File
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: Madfish Kangaroo
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a gun dog with a telephone ?
Second Kangaroo: A golden receiver !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog ?
Second Kangaroo: Dingo Starr !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a dog and a skunk ?
Second Kangaroo: Rid of the dog !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller ?
Second Kangaroo: A computer with a lot of bites !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a dog with a kangaroo?
Second Kangaroo: A dog that has somewhere to put its own lead !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep ?
Second Kangaroo: A sheep that can round itself up !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a dog and a lion ?
Second Kangaroo: A terrified postman !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones ?
Second Kangaroo: Hush puppies !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog ?
Second Kangaroo: A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!
First Kangaroo: What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog?
Second Kangaroo: A hen that lays pooched eggs.
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed ?
Second Kangaroo: Sleep in the wardrobe !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a snake and a hotdog ?
Second Kangaroo: A fangfurter !
First Kangaroo: What's a snakes second favourite dance?
Second Kangaroo: The mamba !
First Kangaroo: What did one snake say to another ?
Second Kangaroo: Hiss off !
First Kangaroo: Why did the two boa constrictors get married ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they had a crush on each other !
First Kangaroo: What's the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake ?
Second Kangaroo: You can make a pet out of a snake !
First Kangaroo: What kind of snake is useful on your windscreen ?
Second Kangaroo: A viper !
First Kangaroo: Why are snakes hard to fool ?
Second Kangaroo: They have no legs to pull !
First Kangaroo: What's a python's favourite pop group ?
Second Kangaroo: Squeeze !
First Kangaroo: What sort of perfume do snakes prefer?
Second Kangaroo: Poison by Christian Dior !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ?
Second Kangaroo: A boa constructor !
First Kangaroo: What's a snake's favourite food ?
Second Kangaroo: Hiss Cakes !
First Kangaroo: Why do babies like cobras ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they come with their own rattle !
First Kangaroo: Why wouldn't the snake go on the weighing maching ?
Second Kangaroo: Because he had his own scales !
First Kangaroo: What do snakeswrite at the bottom of their letters ?
Second Kangaroo: With Love and Hisses !
First Kangaroo: How can you tell if a snake is a baby ?
Second Kangaroo: It has a rattle !
First Kangaroo: What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ?
Second Kangaroo: Thanks, I'll just have a sliver !
First Kangaroo: What is another word for a python ?
Second Kangaroo: A mega-bite !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig ?
Second Kangaroo: A boar constrictor !
First Kangaroo: What's a snakes favourite TV program ?
Second Kangaroo: Monty Python!
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What snakes are good at sums ?
Second Kangaroo: Adders !
First Kangaroo: Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake ?
Second Kangaroo: Someone else's !
First Kangaroo: What do you do if you find a poisonous snake in your toilet ?
Second Kangaroo: Wait till he's finished !
First Kangaroo: What does a black mamba do in the toilet ?
Second Kangaroo: Tries to wash his hands !
First Kangaroo: What is a snakes favourite opera ?
Second Kangaroo: Wriggletto !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent ?
Second Kangaroo: A snake in the brass !
First Kangaroo: What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird ?
Second Kangaroo: A feather boa !
First Kangaroo: Have you heard about the slippery eel ?
Second Kangaroo: Didn't think so, you wouldn't be able to grasp it !
First Kangaroo: Why can't you trust snakes ?
Second Kangaroo: They speak with forked tongues !
First Kangaroo: What's a snakes favourite dance ?
Second Kangaroo: Snake, rattle & roll !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What did the mother snake say to her crying baby ?
Second Kangaroo: Stop crying and viper your nose !
First Kangaroo: What's the best thing about deadly snakes ?
Second Kangaroo: They've got poisonality !
First Kangaroo: Why did the python do national service ?
Second Kangaroo: He was coiled up !
First Kangaroo: What's a snakes favourite flower ?
Second Kangaroo: Coily-flowers !
First Kangaroo: What song to snakes like to sing ?
Second Kangaroo: Viva Aspana !
First Kangaroo: What happened when a deadly rattle snake bit a witch ?
Second Kangaroo: He died in agony !
First Kangaroo: Why did the viper, viper nose ?
Second Kangaroo: Because the adder, adder hankerchief !
First Kangaroo: What did the snake say when another asked him the time ?
Second Kangaroo: Don't asp me !
First Kangaroo: What do you give a sick snake ?
Second Kangaroo: Asp-rin !
First Kangaroo: What do you call a snake who works for the governement ?
Second Kangaroo: A civil serpent !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: Why did the viper want to become a python ?
Second Kangaroo: He got the coiling !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food ?
Second Kangaroo: Snakes and Larders !
First Kangaroo: What do you call a python with a great bedside manner ?
Second Kangaroo: A snake charmer !
First Kangaroo: What do most people do when they see a python ?
Second Kangaroo: They re-coil !
First Kangaroo: What subject are snakes good at school ?
Second Kangaroo: Hiss-tory !
First Kangaroo: What did the snake say to the cornered rat ?
Second Kangaroo: Hiss is the end of the line for you !
First Kangaroo: What do snakes have on their bath towels ?
Second Kangaroo: Hiss and Hers !
First Kangaroo: What do you call a snake that informs the police ?
Second Kangaroo: A grass snake !
First Kangaroo: What did the python say to the viper ?
Second Kangaroo: I've got a crush on you !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell ?
Second Kangaroo: Addercadabra and abradacobra !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Dumb Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: I'm so strong I could lift a reindeer with one hand.
Second Kangaroo: Yeah, but where are we going to find a one-handed reindeer?
First Kangaroo: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer's gone missing again, put a 'Missing' advert in the local paper!
Second Kangaroo: Don't be daft. Reindeer can't read!
First Kangaroo: What has antlers and loves cheese?
Second Kangaroo: Mickey Moose!
First Kangaroo: How would you get four reindeer in a car?
Second Kangaroo: Two in the front and two in the back!
First Kangaroo: And how do you get four polar bears in a car?
Second Kangaroo: Take the reindeer out first
First Kangaroo: Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach ?
Second Kangaroo: Because he didn't want to be recognised !
First Kangaroo: Which reindeer have the shortest legs ?
Second Kangaroo: The smallest ones !
First Kangaroo: Where do you find reindeer ?
Second Kangaroo: It depends on where you leave them !
First Kangaroo: What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?
Second Kangaroo: They're both brown, except the snowball.
First Kangaroo: What do reindeer have that no other animals have ?
Second Kangaroo: Baby reindeer !
First Kangaroo: What reindeer can jump higher than a house?
Second Kangaroo: They all can! Houses can't jump!
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: And as the reindeer say before they tell you jokes ....
Second Kangaroo: These jokes will sleigh you!
First Kangaroo: What do reindeer say before telling you a joke ?
Second Kangaroo: This one will sleigh you !
First Kangaroo: What game do reindeer play in their stalls?
Second Kangaroo: Stable-tennis!
First Kangaroo: Keep that reindeer out of the house! It's full of fleas!
Second Kangaroo: You'd better stay out of the house, Rudolph - it's full of fleas.
First Kangaroo: Why is a reindeer like a gossip ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they are both tail bearers !
First Kangaroo: Why do reindeer wear fur coats ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they would look silly in plastic macs !
First Kangaroo: How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?
Second Kangaroo: Don't feed it !
First Kangaroo: Why did the reindeer wear black boots ?
Second Kangaroo: Because his brown ones were all muddy !
First Kangaroo: Why are Father Christmas' reindeer like a cricket match?
Second Kangaroo: Because they're both stopped by the rein.
First Kangaroo: How long should a reindeer's legs be ?
Second Kangaroo: Just long enough to reach the ground !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: How does a poodle say hello in France?
Second Kangaroo: Bone-jour!
First Kangaroo: What does a French poodle say before each meal?
Second Kangaroo: Bone appetit!
First Kangaroo: What happened to the French poodle's new haircut when it rained?
Second Kangaroo: It got wet!
First Kangaroo: What dog rides a horse named Macaroni?
Second Kangaroo: Yankee poodle!
First Kangaroo: What dog loves to take bubble baths ?
Second Kangaroo: A shampoodle !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster ?
Second Kangaroo: Cockerpoodledoo !
First Kangaroo: What happens when it rains cats and dogs ?
Second Kangaroo: You can step in a poodle !
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What has twelve legs and runs but can hardly be seen?
Second Kangaroo: A bulldog on a jog in the fog with its friends, the hog and the frog.
First Kangaroo: What do you call an injured dog leaving town for Madrid?
Second Kangaroo: A Great Dane with a cane on its way to a plane to get to Spain!
First Kangaroo: What do you call a dizzy dog at an amusement park?
Second Kangaroo: A bloodhound on the ground not making a sound after riding a fast merry-go-round!
First Kangaroo: What do you call a dog in a hurry that falls in a puddle on the way to the post office?
Second Kangaroo: An Irish setter that is a go-getter that got wetter while mailing a letter!
First Kangaroo: What do you call a dog that was shopping for pasta but stopped to draw, instead?
Second Kangaroo: A poodle who was looking to buy a noodle but decided to doodle.
First Kangaroo: What dog has an excellent memory for music?
Second Kangaroo: A whippet is a pet that will never forget how to play a duet on a clarinet!
First Kangaroo: What dog lives in a small house surrounded by holes in the ground?
Second Kangaroo: A mutt that lives in a hut near where people putt!
First Kangaroo: What talks a lot, has fourteen legs, and speeds through traffic?
Second Kangaroo: A blabbing Lab and a crab sharing a cab!
First Kangaroo: What dog is a friend to cozy insects?
Second Kangaroo: A pug giving a warm tug and a hug to a bug that's snug in a rug!
First Kangaroo: What is purple, blows a whistle, and sits in a high chair?
Second Kangaroo: A Saint Bernard working hard as a lifeguard wearing a leotard!
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
Kang Blegs You! Folks we need some help here. The Ecosystem has us listed as a Slithering Reptile and we know for sure we are Marauding Marsupials. So go over to Abject Apathetic Procrastination and look at all my beautiful friends and send all your friends over. Then blogroll us so you can see us everyday!
~Kang A Roo~
First Kangaroo: How does a poodle say hello in France?
Second Kangaroo: Bone-jour!
First Kangaroo: What does a French poodle say before each meal?
Second Kangaroo: Bone appetit!
First Kangaroo: What happened to the French poodle's new haircut when it rained?
Second Kangaroo: It got wet!
First Kangaroo: What dog rides a horse named Macaroni?
Second Kangaroo: Yankee poodle!
First Kangaroo: What dog loves to take bubble baths ?
Second Kangaroo: A shampoodle !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster ?
Second Kangaroo: Cockerpoodledoo !
First Kangaroo: What happens when it rains cats and dogs ?
Second Kangaroo: You can step in a poodle !
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
Kang Blegs You! Folks we need some help here. The Ecosystem has us listed as a Slithering Reptile and we know for sure we are Marauding Marsupials. So go over to Abject Apathetic Procrastination and look at all my beautiful friends and send all your friends over. Then blogroll us so you can see us everyday!
~Kang A Roo~
First Kangaroo: What dog is a cousin to the Dalmatian?
Second Kangaroo: A spot-weiler!
First Kangaroo: Dad, I spotted a Dalmatian!
Second Kangaroo: No need to, it already has its own spots!
First Kangaroo: What do you call a boring dog?
Second Kangaroo: A dull-mation!
First Kangaroo: What is black and white and red all over?
Second Kangaroo: A Dalmatian with a bad sunburn.
First Kangaroo: What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal ?
Second Kangaroo: That hit the spots !
First Kangaroo: What kind of dog is a person's best friend?
Second Kangaroo: A palmatian!
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
Kang Blegs You! Folks we need some help here. The Ecosystem has us listed as a Slithering Reptile and we know for sure we are Marauding Marsupials. So go over to Abject Apathetic Procrastination and look at all my beautiful friends and send all your friends over. Then blogroll us so you can see us everyday!
~Kang A Roo~
First Kangaroo: What did the elephant say when it saw the Chihuahuas coming down the road?
Second Kangaroo: Look out for the mice!
First Kangaroo: What did the tangerine say when it saw the Chihuahua?
Second Kangaroo: Nothing. Tangerines can't talk!
First Kangaroo: What do you get when you cross a Chihuahua with a brave giraffe?
Second Kangaroo: A Chihuahua that is not afraid to stick its neck out!
First Kangaroo: Why can't Chihuahuas run marathons?
Second Kangaroo: They're short of breath!
First Kangaroo: What is a favorite vacation spot for Chihuahuas?
Second Kangaroo: Boneos Aires, Argentina!
First Kangaroo: What is black and white and red all over?
Second Kangaroo: A Chihuahua in a tuxedo that tripped into a jar of salsa!
First Kangaroo: What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua?
Second Kangaroo: Shorts!
First Kangaroo: What do you do when a Chihuahua sneezes?
Second Kangaroo: Get a small hankie!
First Kangaroo: Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into a lake?
Second Kangaroo: To a weterinarian!
First Kangaroo: What is the best kind of dog to ask for directions?
Second Kangaroo: A Chihuahua, because it knows all the shortcuts!
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
Kang Blegs You! Folks we need some help here. The Ecosystem has us listed as a Slithering Reptile and we know for sure we are Marauding Marsupials. So go over to Abject Apathetic Procrastination and look at all my beautiful friends and send all your friends over. Then blogroll us so you can see us everyday!
~Kang A Roo~
First Kangaroo: What was the most vicious and meanest dinosaur of them all?
Second Kangaroo: The Chihuahuasaurus Rex!
First Kangaroo: Alsation: How come you are always so well behaved when you go on a walk with your master?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua: It's the leash I can do!
First Kangaroo: How does a Chihuahua hide in the desert?
Second Kangaroo: It uses camel-flage!
First Kangaroo: How did the Chihuahua disappear on the road?
Second Kangaroo: It was using a hide-'n-go-seekle!
First Kangaroo: What do you say to a Chihuahua that is running away?
Second Kangaroo: Adios!
First Kangaroo: What do Chihuahuas have that no other dogs have?
Second Kangaroo: Baby Chihuahuas!
First Kangaroo: Why was the Chihuahua glad it wasn't an eagle?
Second Kangaroo: It can't fly!
First Kangaroo: What is the difference between a hippopotamus and a Chihuahua?
Second Kangaroo: About 2,200 pounds!
First Kangaroo: What do you call twelve Chihuahuas?
Second Kangaroo: A dozen!
First Kangaroo: Why do Chihuahuas have such short necks?
Second Kangaroo: Because their heads are so close to their bodies!
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
Kang Blegs You! Folks we need some help here. The Ecosystem has us listed as a Slithering Reptile and we know for sure we are Marauding Marsupials. So go over to Abject Apathetic Procrastination and look at all my beautiful friends and send all your friends over. Then blogroll us so you can see us everyday!
~Kang A Roo~
First Kangaroo: Alsation: What is your favorite holiday?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua: Howloween!
First Kangaroo: Alsation: Why do you like to go on camping trips?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua: I like to "ruff it!
First Kangaroo: Why does a Chihuahua have four legs?
Second Kangaroo: So it can count past three!
First Kangaroo: Alsation: What did you do in art class today?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua: Panting on paper!
First Kangaroo: I just spotted a Chihuahua!
Second Kangaroo: That wasn't very nice, you shouldn't draw on dogs!
First Kangaroo: Why did the Chihuahua bark when it heard a song on the radio?
Second Kangaroo: It didn't know the words!
First Kangaroo: Why are Chihuahuas such good bedtime storytellers?
Second Kangaroo: They have short tales!
First Kangaroo: What does a Chihuahua call its mom and dad?
Second Kangaroo: Chimama and Chipapa!
First Kangaroo: Alsation: I'll see you shortly.
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua: Okay, but don't call me "Shortly!"
First Kangaroo: How do you spell "Chihuahua?"
Second Kangaroo: "C-h-i-w-o-w-a."
First Kangaroo: That's not even close!
Second Kangaroo: But you asked me how I spelled it!
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
Folks we need some help here. The Ecosystem has us listed as a Slithering Reptile and we know for sure we are Marauding Marsupial. So go over to Abject Apathetic Procrastination and look at all my beautiful friends and send all your friends over. Then blogroll us so you can see us everyday!
~Kang A Roo~
First Kangaroo: What do you get when you cross a Chihuahua with an English sheepdog?
Second Kangaroo: Small wool sweaters!
First Kangaroo: What side of a Chihuahua has the most hair?
Second Kangaroo: The outside!
First Kangaroo: When do Chihuahuas smell?
Second Kangaroo: When they don't take a bath!
First Kangaroo: How do Chihuahuas smell?
Second Kangaroo: With their nose!
First Kangaroo: How do you take a Chihuahua's temperature?
Second Kangaroo: With a small thermometer!
First Kangaroo: What's the best way to measure a Chihuahua?
Second Kangaroo: With a ruler!
First Kangaroo: How do Chihuahuas eat so much?
Second Kangaroo: They make a lot go a little way!
First Kangaroo: Why did the Chihuahua ask the bloodhound to take it to a restaurant?
Second Kangaroo: Because the bloodhound just found a lot of scents!
First Kangaroo: How can you tell if a Chihuahua has been in the refrigerator?
Second Kangaroo: Paw prints in the butter!
First Kangaroo: How did your Chihuahua break its leg?
Second Kangaroo: I dropped some dog food on it by accident.
First Kangaroo: But that couldn't have broken its leg.
Second Kangaroo: The dog food was still in the can!
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What position is the best for a Chihuahua to play in baseball?
Second Kangaroo: Shortstop!
First Kangaroo: How do you know which Chihuahua can ride a bike?
Second Kangaroo: It's the one wearing a helmet!
First Kangaroo: What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua?
Second Kangaroo: A short one!
First Kangaroo: A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another shopper walked up to it and started talking.
Second Kangaroo: Didn't I see you on a TV commercial?
First Kangaroo: How am I supposed to know what you watch on TV?
First Kangaroo: Where did the Chihuahua sign its contract for its TV commercials?
Second Kangaroo: On the bottom!
First Kangaroo: Do Chihuahuas have horns?
Second Kangaroo: Many have violins but very few have horns!
First Kangaroo: Why should you never watch a video with a Chihuahua?
Second Kangaroo: It always plays with the "paws" button on the VCR.
First Kangaroo: How do you say "Chihuahua" in Spanish?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua!
First Kangaroo: How do you say "Chihuahua" in Italy?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua!
First Kangaroo: What is brown and gray, has eight legs, and is carrying a large trunk and a small trunk?
Second Kangaroo: A Chihuahua on vacation with an elephant.
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a keyboard?
Second Kangaroo: They're all paws.
First Kangaroo: How are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped you to set up your computer?
Second Kangaroo: With dog diskettes!
First Kangaroo: Alsation: What kind of computer do you want to buy?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua: One with a small byte!
First Kangaroo: What kind of computers do chihuahuas like best?
Second Kangaroo: Lap-top!
First Kangaroo: What does a Chihuahua play basketball with?
Second Kangaroo: A tennis ball!
First Kangaroo: Why did the Chihuahua take the bus to the TV studio to make a commercial?
Second Kangaroo: It was too far to walk!
First Kangaroo: What does a Chihuahua wear to play basketball?
Second Kangaroo: Small basketball shoes!
First Kangaroo: Why couldn't the Chihuahua play basketball?
Second Kangaroo: Because its basketball shoes were in the wash and a tennis player needed the ball!
First Kangaroo: Alsation: Was your master playing catch with you?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua: No, I was playing throw with her!
First Kangaroo: What is a Chihuahua's favorite sport?
Second Kangaroo: Miniature golf!
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »» Ramblings of SilverBlue links with: Thursday Link-Luv™
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: Why do dinosaurs have wrinkles in their knees??
Second Kangaroo: They stayed in the swimming pool too long.
First Kangaroo: Why do dinosaurs climb trees?
Second Kangaroo: There's nothing else to climb in the jungle.
First Kangaroo: How can you tell a male dinosaur from a female dinosaur?
Second Kangaroo: Ask it a question. If he answers, it's a male; if she answers, it's female.
First Kangaroo: Why did the dinosaur fall out of a palm tree?
Second Kangaroo: A hippopotamus pushed him out.
First Kangaroo: Why do dinosaurs have flat feet?
Second Kangaroo: They don't wear sneakers.
First Kangaroo: How can you tell if a dinosaur is visiting your house?
Second Kangaroo: His tricycle will be parked outside.
First Kangaroo: Why did the dinosaur lie on his back in the water and stick his feet up?
Second Kangaroo: So you could tell he wasn't a bar of soap.
First Kangaroo: Why do dinosaurs wear glasses?
Second Kangaroo: To make sure they don't step on other dinosaurs.
First Kangaroo: What do you know when you see three dinosaurs walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
Second Kangaroo: You need help. Whoever heard of three dinosaurs walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
First Kangaroo: What's red on the outside and green on the inside?
Second Kangaroo: A dinosaur wearing red pajamas.
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »» Being American in T.O. links with: Love poems, Kangaroo jokes, and whimsy
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What did the maggot say to his friend when he got stuck in an apple ?
Second Kangaroo: Worm your way out of that one !
First Kangaroo: Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ?
Second Kangaroo: Because everyone had to go on in pairs !
First Kangaroo: What is worse than finding a maggot in your apple ?
Second Kangaroo: Finding half an apple !
First Kangaroo: How can you tell which end of a worm is which ?
Second Kangaroo: Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs !
First Kangaroo: How do you make a glow worm happy ?
Second Kangaroo: Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted !
First Kangaroo: What's a glow worms favourite song ?
Second Kangaroo: Wake me up before you glow glow !
First Kangaroo: Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Second Kangaroo: Because her children weren't that bright !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer ?
Second Kangaroo: Light ale !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat ?
Second Kangaroo: A dirty kid !
First Kangaroo: What do worms leave round their baths ?
Second Kangaroo: The scum of the earth !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What happened to the glow worm who was squashed ?
Second Kangaroo: He was de-lighted !
First Kangaroo: What is the best advice to give to worm ?
Second Kangaroo: Sleep late !
First Kangaroo: What's the difference between a worm and an apple ?
Second Kangaroo: Have you ever tried worm pie ?!
First Kangaroo: What did the worm say to the other when he was late home ?
Second Kangaroo: Where in earth have you been !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant ?
Second Kangaroo: Very big worm holes in your garden !
First Kangaroo: What reads and lives in an apple ?
Second Kangaroo: A bookworm !
First Kangaroo: What makes a glow worm glow ?
Second Kangaroo: A light meal !
First Kangaroo: Why do worms taste like chewing gum ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they're wrigleys !
First Kangaroo: Why did the sparrow go to the library ?
Second Kangaroo: It was looking for bookworms !
First Kangaroo: What is life like for a wood worm ?
Second Kangaroo: Boring !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What did the maggot say to another ?
Second Kangaroo: What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this !
First Kangaroo: What did the woodworm say to the chair ?
Second Kangaroo: It's been nice gnawing you !
First Kangaroo: What's yellow, wiggles and is dangerous ?
Second Kangaroo: A maggot with attitude !
First Kangaroo: How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm ?
Second Kangaroo: it has a blue light !
First Kangaroo: Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag ?
Second Kangaroo: They can lighten your load !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python ?
Second Kangaroo: A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death !
First Kangaroo: What is a worm's favourite band ?
Second Kangaroo: Mud !
First Kangaroo: Who is the worm's Prime Minister ?
Second Kangaroo: Maggot Thatcher !
First Kangaroo: When should you stop for a glow worm ?
Second Kangaroo: When he has a red light !
First Kangaroo: What is the maggot army called ?
Second Kangaroo: The Apple Corps !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What is the difference between school dinners and a pile of slugs ?
Second Kangaroo: School dinners come on a plate !
First Kangaroo: What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall ?
Second Kangaroo: How slime flies !
First Kangaroo: How do you know your kitchen floor is dirty ?
Second Kangaroo: The slugs leave a trail on the floor that reads "clean me" !
First Kangaroo: What did the slug say to the other who had hit him and run off ?
Second Kangaroo: I'll get you next slime !
First Kangaroo: What was the snail doing on the highway ?
Second Kangaroo: About one mile a day !
First Kangaroo: What is the definition of a slug ?
Second Kangaroo: A snail with a housing problem !
First Kangaroo: How do snails get their shells so shiny ?
Second Kangaroo: They use snail varnish !
First Kangaroo: Why is the snail the strongest animal ?
Second Kangaroo: Because he carries a house on his back !
First Kangaroo: What do you do when two snails have a fight ?
Second Kangaroo: Leave them to slug it out !
First Kangaroo: Where do you find giant snails ?
Second Kangaroo: At the end of giants fingers !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What did the spider say when he broke his new web ?
Second Kangaroo: Darn it !
First Kangaroo: What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ?
Second Kangaroo: It became a daddy short legs !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose ?
Second Kangaroo: I'm not sure, but I wouldn't try smelling it !
First Kangaroo: Why did the spider buy a car ?
Second Kangaroo: So he could take it out for a spin !
First Kangaroo: What does a spider do when he gets angry ?
Second Kangaroo: He goes up the wall !
First Kangaroo: Why are spiders good swimmers ?
Second Kangaroo: They have webbed feet !
First Kangaroo: What is red and dangerous ?
Second Kangaroo: Strawberry and tarantula jelly !
First Kangaroo: What did the spider say to the fly ?
Second Kangaroo: We're getting married do you want to come to the webbing ?
First Kangaroo: How do you spot a modern spider ?
Second Kangaroo: He doesn't have a web he had a website !
First Kangaroo: What are spiders webs good for ?
Second Kangaroo: Spiders !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What do you call a big irish spider ?
Second Kangaroo: Paddy long legs !
First Kangaroo: What is a spiders favourite TV show ?
Second Kangaroo: The newly web game !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ?
Second Kangaroo: I'm not sure, but if you see one walking across the ceiling
then run before it collapses !
First Kangaroo: What do you call a 100 spiders on a tire ?
Second Kangaroo: A spinning wheel !
First Kangaroo: What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses ?
Second Kangaroo: If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital !
First Kangaroo: What kind of doctors are like spiders ?
Second Kangaroo: Spin doctors !
First Kangaroo: Why are spiders like tops ?
Second Kangaroo: They are always spinning !
First Kangaroo: What has 8 legs and likes living in trees ?
Second Kangaroo: Four anti road protesters ?
First Kangaroo: What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late ?
Second Kangaroo: Your spinning me a yarn here !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect ?
Second Kangaroo: The Masked-quito !
First Kangaroo: What has antlers and sucks blood ?
Second Kangaroo: A moose-quito !
First Kangaroo: Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ?
Second Kangaroo: To improve his bite !
First Kangaroo: What is a mosquito's favourite sport ?
Second Kangaroo: Skin-diving !
First Kangaroo: How do you know if you have a tough mosquito ?
Second Kangaroo: You slap him and he slaps you back !
First Kangaroo: What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly ?
Second Kangaroo: Try sewing buttons on a mosquito !
First Kangaroo: What's the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito ?
Second Kangaroo: A mosquito drops off you when you die !
First Kangaroo: What is the most religious insect ?
Second Kangaroo: A mosque-ito !
First Kangaroo: What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code ?
Second Kangaroo: A morese-quito !
First Kangaroo: Why are mosquitos religious ?
Second Kangaroo: They prey on you !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »» Tiger: Raggin' & Rantin' links with: There is no sex in the Champagne Room
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together ?
Second Kangaroo: Chimney Cricket !
First Kangaroo: What is a grasshopper ?
Second Kangaroo: An insect on a pogo stick !
First Kangaroo: What is green and can jump a mile in a minute ?
Second Kangaroo: A grasshopper with hiccups !
First Kangaroo: What do you call a grasshopper with no legs ?
Second Kangaroo: A grasshover !
First Kangaroo: Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket ?
Second Kangaroo: Because grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can't play grasshopper !
First Kangaroo: Why don't other bugs like earwigs ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they are always earwigging their conversations !
First Kangaroo: What kind of wig can hear ?
Second Kangaroo: An earwig !
First Kangaroo: What did the earwig say as it fell down the stairs ?
Second Kangaroo: Ear we go !
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: How do you keep flies out of the kitchen ?
Second Kangaroo: Put a pile of manure in the living room !
First Kangaroo: What is the difference between a fly and a bird ?
Second Kangaroo: A bird can fly but a fly can't bird !
First Kangaroo: Why did the fly fly ?
Second Kangaroo: Because the spider spied 'er !
First Kangaroo: Why did the firefly keep stealing things ?
Second Kangaroo: He was light fingered !
First Kangaroo: What goes "snap, crackle and pop" ?
Second Kangaroo: A firefly with a short circuit !
First Kangaroo: Which fly makes films ?
Second Kangaroo: Stephen Speilbug !
First Kangaroo: Why were the flies playing football in saucer ?
Second Kangaroo: They where playing for the cup !
First Kangaroo: How do fireflies start a race ?
Second Kangaroo: Ready steady glow !
First Kangaroo: What did one firefly say to the other ?
Second Kangaroo: Got to glow now !
First Kangaroo: If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player ?
Second Kangaroo: The one in the sugar bowl !
Cheers!
» Ramblings of SilverBlue links with: Some bonus Link-Luv™
» BigStick.us links with: Link Fest '03
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What do you call a flea that lives in an idiots ear ?
Second Kangaroo: A space invader !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ?
Second Kangaroo: Bugs Bunny !
First Kangaroo: How do you start an insect race ?
Second Kangaroo: One, two, flea - go !
First Kangaroo: What is the difference between a flea and a wolf ?
Second Kangaroo: One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie !
First Kangaroo: What to you call a Russian flea ?
Second Kangaroo: A Moscow-ito !
First Kangaroo: How do you find where a flea has bitten you ?
Second Kangaroo: Start from scratch !
First Kangaroo: What is the difference between fleas and dogs ?
Second Kangaroo: Dogs can have fleas but fleas can't have dogs !
First Kangaroo: What did the clean dog say to the insect ?
Second Kangaroo: Long time no flea !
First Kangaroo: Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War ?
Second Kangaroo: Robert E Flea !
First Kangaroo: What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear ?
Second Kangaroo: Shot it !
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet ?
Second Kangaroo: "Why are we running so fast ?" said one
Because it says "Tear along the dotted line"
First Kangaroo: What did one flea say to the other after a night out ?
Second Kangaroo: Shall we walk home or take a dog ?
First Kangaroo: Why did the stupid boy wear a turlte neck sweater ?
Second Kangaroo: To hide his flea collar !
First Kangaroo: What is a flea's favourite book ?
Second Kangaroo: The itch-hikers guide to the galaxy !
First Kangaroo: What is the most faithful insect ?
Second Kangaroo: A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them !
First Kangaroo: What insect runs away from everything ?
Second Kangaroo: A flee !
First Kangaroo: What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ?
Second Kangaroo: Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !
First Kangaroo: What do you call a cheerful flea ?
Second Kangaroo: A hop-timist!
First Kangaroo: What did the romantic flea say ?
Second Kangaroo: I love you aw-flea !
First Kangaroo: How to fleas travel ?
Second Kangaroo: Itch hiking !
Cheers!
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: Just so you'll know
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What do bees do if they want to use public transport ?
Second Kangaroo: Wait at a buzz stop !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a bee with a skunk ?
Second Kangaroo: An animal that stinks and stings !
First Kangaroo: What does a queen bee do when she burps ?
Second Kangaroo: Issues a royal pardon !
First Kangaroo: How does a queen bee get around her hive ?
Second Kangaroo: She's throne !
First Kangaroo: What's black, yellow and covered in blackberries ?
Second Kangaroo: A bramble bee !
First Kangaroo: What's more dangerous than being with a fool ?
Second Kangaroo: Fooling with a bee !
First Kangaroo: Why did the bee started talking poetry ?
Second Kangaroo: He was waxing lyrical !
First Kangaroo: What is a bee's favourite classical music composer ?
Second Kangaroo: Bee-thoven !
First Kangaroo: Who writes books for little bees ?
Second Kangaroo: Bee-trix Potter !
First Kangaroo: What did the bee say to the naughty bee ?
Second Kangaroo: Bee-hive yourself !
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What goes hum-choo, hum choo?
Second Kangaroo: A bee with a cold !
First Kangaroo: What's a bee-line ?
Second Kangaroo: The shortest distance between two buzz-stops !
First Kangaroo: What do you call a bee who's had a spell put on him ?
Second Kangaroo: He's bee-witched !
First Kangaroo: Can bees fly in the rain ?
Second Kangaroo: Not without their little yellow jackets !
First Kangaroo: What buzzes, is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea ?
Second Kangaroo: A bee in a submarine !
First Kangaroo: Why do bees hum ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they've forgotten the words !
First Kangaroo: What kind of bees hum and drop things ?
Second Kangaroo: A fumble bee !
First Kangaroo: What did the bee say to the flower ?
Second Kangaroo: Hello honey !
First Kangaroo: What's a bees favourite flower ?
Second Kangaroo: A bee-gonias !
First Kangaroo: What did the confused bee say ?
Second Kangaroo: To bee or not to bee !
Cheers!
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: I had to do a bit of labor
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What do you call a greedy ant ?
Second Kangaroo: An anteater !
First Kangaroo: What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes ?
Second Kangaroo: Antteneye !
First Kangaroo: What kind of ant is good at maths ?
Second Kangaroo: An accountant !
First Kangaroo: What medicine would you give an ill ant ?
Second Kangaroo: Antibiotics !
First Kangaroo: Why did the ant-elope ?
Second Kangaroo: Nobody gnu !
First Kangaroo: What is worse than ants in your pants ?
Second Kangaroo: A bat in your bra !
First Kangaroo: What kind of ant can you colour with ?
Second Kangaroo: A crayant !
First Kangaroo: What games to ants play with elephants ?
Second Kangaroo: Squash !
First Kangaroo: What do you call an ant who likes to be alone ?
Second Kangaroo: An independant !
First Kangaroo: What do you call an ant who can't play the piano ?
Second Kangaroo: Discordant !
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What is even bigger than an elephant ?
Second Kangaroo: A giant !
First Kangaroo: Who was the most famous ant scientist ?
Second Kangaroo: Albert Antstein !
First Kangaroo: What kind of ants are very learned ?
Second Kangaroo: Pedants !
First Kangaroo: What do you call a smart ant ?
Second Kangaroo: Elegant !
First Kangaroo: What do you call an ant in space ?
Second Kangaroo: Cosmonants & Astronants !
First Kangaroo: Where do ants go to eat ?
Second Kangaroo: At a restaurant !
First Kangaroo: What do you call an ant from overseas ?
Second Kangaroo: Impartant
First Kangaroo: Where do ants go for their holidays ?
Second Kangaroo: Frants !
First Kangaroo: What do you call an ant who skips school ?
Second Kangaroo: A truant !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics ?
Second Kangaroo: All sorts of antics !
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk?
Second Kangaroo: A centipede with a wooden leg !
First Kangaroo: Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team ?
Second Kangaroo: He took too long to put his boots on !
First Kangaroo: What is worse than an alligator with toothache ?
Second Kangaroo: A centipede with athlete's foot !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot ?
Second Kangaroo: A walkie talkie !
First Kangaroo: What is worse than a giraffe with a sore throat ?
Second Kangaroo: A centipede with chilblains !
First Kangaroo: What has 50 legs but cant walk ?
Second Kangaroo: Half a centipede !
First Kangaroo: What do you call a guard with 100 legs ?
Second Kangaroo: A sentrypede !
First Kangaroo: Why was the centipede late ?
Second Kangaroo: Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ?Second Kangaroo: Enough drumsticks to feed an army !
First Kangaroo: What did one centipede say to the other centipede ?
Second Kangaroo: You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs ....!
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What pillar doesn't need holding up ?
Second Kangaroo: A caterpillar !
First Kangaroo: What does a cat go to sleep on ?
Second Kangaroo: A caterpillow !
First Kangaroo: What's green and dangerous ?
Second Kangaroo: A caterpillar with a machine gun !
First Kangaroo: What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day ?
Second Kangaroo: Turns over a new leaf !
First Kangaroo: What is the definition of a caterpillar ?
Second Kangaroo: A worm in a fur coat !
First Kangaroo: What has stripes and pulls a tractor ?
Second Kangaroo: A caterpillar tractor !
Cheers!
Bullshit so far »Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What is the fiercest flower in the garden ?
Second Kangaroo: The tiger lily !
First Kangaroo: If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What's a tiger ?
Second Kangaroo: A stri-ped !
First Kangaroo: What's striped and bouncy ?
Second Kangaroo: A tiger on a pogo stick !
First Kangaroo: What do tigers wear in bed ?
Second Kangaroo: Stripey pyjamas !
First Kangaroo: What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head ?
Second Kangaroo: A tiger moth !
First Kangaroo: What's the difference between a tiger and a lion ?
Second Kangaroo: A tiger has the mane part missing !
First Kangaroo: What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ?
Second Kangaroo: After a week he was spotless !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep ?
Second Kangaroo: A stripey sweater !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman ?
Second Kangaroo: Frostbite !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo ?
Second Kangaroo: A stripey jumper !
First Kangaroo: How are tigers like sergeants in the army ?
Second Kangaroo: They both wear stripes ! Cheers!
» Tiger: Raggin' & Rantin' links with: Yours truly: Butt end of lame jokes
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What do insects learn at school ?
Second Kangaroo: Mothmatics !
First Kangaroo: How do you make a butterfly ?
Second Kangaroo: Flick it out of the butter dish with a knife !
First Kangaroo: What insect lives on nothing ?
Second Kangaroo: A moth, because it eats holes
First Kangaroo: What's pretty, delicate and carries a sub machine gun ?
Second Kangaroo: A killer butterfly !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth ?
Second Kangaroo: An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe !
First Kangaroo: How do stones stop moths eating your clothes ?
Second Kangaroo: Because rolling stones gather no moths !
First Kangaroo: What is a myth ?
Second Kangaroo: A female moth !
First Kangaroo: Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?
Second Kangaroo: He wanted to see the floor show !
First Kangaroo: What's the biggest moth in the world ?
Second Kangaroo: A mammoth !
First Kangaroo: Why was the moth so unpopular ?
Second Kangaroo: He kept picking holes in everything !
Cheers!
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: It seems the joke is on me
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What is a baby bee ?
Second Kangaroo: A little humbug !
First Kangaroo: What is the bees favourite film ?
Second Kangaroo: The Sting !
First Kangaroo: Who is the bees favourite singer ?
Second Kangaroo: Sting !
First Kangaroo: Who is the bees favourite pop group ?
Second Kangaroo: The bee gees !
First Kangaroo: What did the bee to the other bee in summer ?
Second Kangaroo: Swarm here isn't it !
First Kangaroo: Where do bees keep their money ?
Second Kangaroo: In a honey box !
First Kangaroo: What TV station do bees watch ?
Second Kangaroo: Bee bee c one!
First Kangaroo: What's a bees favourite novel ?
Second Kangaroo: The Great Gats-bee !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a bee with a door bell?
Second Kangaroo: A hum dinger !
First Kangaroo: How many bees do you need in a bee choir ?
Second Kangaroo: A humdred !
Cheers!
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: It seems the joke is on me
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What do you call an and with frogs legs ?
Second Kangaroo: An antphibian !
First Kangaroo: Who is the most famous French ant ?
Second Kangaroo: Napoleant !
First Kangaroo: What do you call a 100 year old ant ?
Second Kangaroo: An antique !
First Kangaroo: What do you call an ant who lives with your great uncle ?
Second Kangaroo: Your great-ant !
First Kangaroo: Why don't anteaters get sick ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they are full of antibodies!
First Kangaroo: What is the biggest ant in the world ?
Second Kangaroo: An elephant !
First Kangaroo: How many ants are needed to fill an apartment ?
Second Kangaroo: Ten ants !
First Kangaroo: What is smaller than an ant's dinner ?
Second Kangaroo: An ant's mouth !
First Kangaroo: Why did the elephant put his trunk across the path ?
Second Kangaroo: To trip up the ants !
How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics ?
Cheers!
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: It seems the joke is on me
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What do you call a big irish spider ?
Second Kangaroo: Paddy long legs !
First Kangaroo: What is a spiders favourite TV show ?
Second Kangaroo: The newly web game !
First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ?
Second Kangaroo: I'm not sure, but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses !
First Kangaroo: What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre ?
Second Kangaroo: A spinning wheel !
First Kangaroo: What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses ?
Second Kangaroo: If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital !
First Kangaroo: What kind of doctors are like spiders ?
Second Kangaroo: Spin doctors !
First Kangaroo: Why are spiders like tops ?
Second Kangaroo: They are always spinning !
First Kangaroo: What has 8 legs and likes living in trees ?
Second Kangaroo: Four anti road protesters ?
First Kangaroo: What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late ?
Second Kangaroo: Your spinning me a yarn here !
Cheers!
» angelweave links with: All Around Munuviana
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: It seems the joke is on me
Jokes by Kang A Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What do you call a frog spy ?
Second Kangaroo: A croak and dagger agent !
First Kangaroo: What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair ?
Second Kangaroo: Lily !
First Kangaroo: What do Scottish toads play ?
Second Kangaroo: Hop-scotch !
First Kangaroo: How did the toad die ?
Second Kangaroo: He simply croaked !
First Kangaroo: What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak ?
Second Kangaroo: Morse toad !
First Kangaroo: What's the world's weakest animal ?
Second Kangaroo: A toad, he croaks if you even touch him !
First Kangaroo: Whats white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions ?
Second Kangaroo: A hot frog !
First Kangaroo: What happens if you eat a hot frog ?
Second Kangaroo: You'll croak in no time !
First Kangaroo: Where do frogs leave their hats and coats ?
Second Kangaroo: In the croakroom !
First Kangaroo: What's green and tough ?
Second Kangaroo: A toad with a machine gun !
Cheers!
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: It seems the joke is on me
Dumb-Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo:What is a parrot?
Second Kangaroo:A wordy birdy!
First Kangaroo:Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting "Pieces of four"?
Second Kangaroo:Short John Silver!
First Kangaroo:Why wouldn't the parrot talk to the Frenchman?
Second Kangaroo:Because he only spoke pigeon English!
First Kangaroo:My parrot lays square eggs but can only say one word.
Second Kangaroo:What's that?
First Kangaroo:Ouch!
First Kangaroo:How do you know you are haunted by a parrot?
Second Kangaroo:He keeps saying "Oooooo's a pretty boy then?"
First Kangaroo:Teacher: Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage?
Second Kangaroo:Pupil: For a parrot to perch on, miss.
First Kangaroo:Where do the cleverest parrots live?
Second Kangaroo:In the brain tree forests!
First Kangaroo:What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot?
Second Kangaroo:An animal that's always telling you how busy it is!
First Kangaroo:What do you get if you cross a centipede with a parrot?
Second Kangaroo:A walkie-talkie.
First Kangaroo:Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Second Kangaroo:The parrots eat em all (Paracetamol)
Cheers!
Dumb-Ass Jokes
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: To get to the other side
First Kangaroo: Why did the rooster cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: To cockadoodle dooo something
First Kangaroo: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
Second Kangaroo: He heard the referee calling fowls
First Kangaroo: Why did the turkey cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: To prove he wasn't chicken
First Kangaroo: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again ?
Second Kangaroo: Because he was a dirty double-crosser
First Kangaroo: Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: Because he didn't have enough guts
First Kangaroo: Why did the chicken cross the playground ?
Second Kangaroo: To get to the other slide
First Kangaroo: Why did the dinosaur cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: Because chickens hadn't evolved yet
First Kangaroo: Why did the turtle cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: To get to the shell station
First Kangaroo: Why did the horse cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: Because the chicken needed a day off.
Cheers!
Jokes by Kang A. Roo
Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo
First Kangaroo: What has feathers and writes?
Second Kangaroo: A ballpoint hen.
First Kangaroo: Which is the bossiest ant?
Second Kangaroo: Tyrant!
First Kangaroo: What do moose do at a concert?
Second Kangaroo: Make moosic.
First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way?
Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.
First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you get away from them?
Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round.
First Kangaroo: Which ant is an army officer?
Second Kangaroo: Sergeant!
First Kangaroo: What do monkeys eat for dessert?
Second Kangaroo: Chocolate chimp cookies.
Cheers!
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: It seems the joke is on me
Dumb Ass Jokes
You how you go into a bar before the crowd gets there, and your sittin up at the bar, pullin your pud with no one to talk to? So, you ask the bartender if he knows any good jokes.
Well, me and my buddy GoatHead used to tell these absolutely, positively, horrible one-liner jokes. They were soooo bad that no one ever laughed at the jokes, they were always laughing at us laughing at how stupid the jokes were. I'm cracking myself up just thinking about it! [sittin here, laughing my ass off...] I mean, you should have seen people's faces - they were like "What the fuck?" This would go on and on until they either couldn't stand to hear another joke, or we couldn't stand up to tell another one. Then, we just waited for the next sucker to pull up a barstool and ask for funnies.
Funny to me.
Here is this week's edition of really Dumbass Bar Jokes™. Enjoy!
Q What did the soap give to his fiancé?
A A bathtub ring
Q What do you call soap on a trapeze?
A Soap on a rope
Q Why did the comedian bring soap to his show?
A He was trying to clean up his act
Q Why did the burglar have soap in his pocket?
A He wanted to make a clean getaway
Now, I can't give you all the pretzels at one time, ya know. Tune in next week - Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel!
Cheers!
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Fuck you, That 1 Monkey :-P
Harvey bullshitted on July 18, 2007 at 06:53 AM