I shouldn't have done it. I should just keep my sex advice to myself.
A friend of mine showed up at work one day, saying that no matter how he tried, he could NOT get his woman to have an orgasm. He said he'd tried everything.
So (this is where I messed up) I told him my little trick. I keep a loaded .38 under my pillow, and I've discovered that if I reach under there and pull the trigger at just the right second, the sound of the explosion just sends her right over the edge. Incredible.
Anyhow, I pass this advice along to that friend. Then, he misses work for an entire week. I figure he's having some of the best sex ever. When he finally shows up, though, he looks like a mild case of death warmed over.
I said, "Holy CRAP, man! What the hell happened to YOU?"
He says, "Well, I took your advice about the .38. I pulled the trigger, and the bitch shit all over my face and bit my dick off!"
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