Harvey was sitting at his usual corner stool one night, and I was bartending. I'd cut him off at six again, since he'd been drinking all day and smelled like the fermenting room on the Jack Daniels distillery tour. Anyhow, he'd been watching how Madfish Willie kept going up to women, whispering in their ear, and sometimes, just sometimes, the woman would leave with Willie, and he wouldn't come back until half an hour later!
Harv was fascinated. Willie obviously had a trick up his sleeve, and Harvey was a bit peeved that his buddy hadn't let him in on it. So, next chance he got, he staggered over to Willie and asked about it.
Willie told him, "It's very simple. I just whisper in their ear, 'Tickle your ass with a feather?' Most of the time, they're shocked, and say, 'WHAT did you say?' If that happens, I just go, 'Oh! I just said, particularly nice weather!'" But sometimes, they go, "SURE!"
Harvey slurs, "Got it! You shoulda tol' me shooner!" He goes up to the first woman he sees, and hollers at her, "HEY! YOU WANNA FUCK?"
She smacks him across the face and says, "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME????"
Harvey rubs his reddened cheek and mumbles, "Rainin' like a bitch outside, ain't it!"