Faith Healing Failure

A faith healer came to my town the other day. He set up the big revival tent, ran ads in the town newspaper and on our local radio stations.

Now, I don't believe in faith healing, but I do like to watch a good charlatan at work, so I went to see the show.

The guy is up there on the stage, working the crowd into a fever pitch, when he hollers out, "I know many of you have seen faith healing by the POWER of JEE-sus! But have you EVER seen a DOUBLE healin'? You're gonna see one tonight!"

He asks for a volunteer, and an old guy on crutches hobbles up onto the stage. The healer asks him his name, and how long he's been on crutches. The old geezer answers, "My name is Fred, and Ah've been on these here things my whole life. I uz born with bad legs."

Healer tells him it's all gonna get cured, and to go stand behind this 7' curtain that is directly behind them. Old geezer hobbles around behind the curtain. Healer asks for another volunteer, and a healthy-looking fellow strides up onto the stage. The healer remarks that there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with him, asks his name and what is his affliction?

The second volunteer replies, "M-m-m-m-my N-n-n-n-name is B-b-b-b-b-bob. M-m-m-my..."

Faith healer interrupts the poor guy, and says, "Oh, Bob... don't try to say anything else. I think we can all see what your affliction is. Now, you go around behind the curtain with Fred, there, and we're gonna fix you right up, drive those demons from your vocal cords, by the HEALIN' power of JEE-sus!" Bob goes around behind the curtain.

The faith healer turns back to the audience and works them up to a tizzy with prayers and "Can I get a witness!" and "AMEN!" Finally he smacks his hands together, and hollers out like he's gonna faint, "The GOOD Lord's work HAS BEEN DONE, ladies and gentlemen!" A hush falls over the crowd as the preacher hollers at the curtain, "FRED! Throw your useless old crutches OVER the CURTAIN!" A pair of crutches come flying over the curtain. Then the preacher hollers, "BOB! Now... SPEAK to us!"

Bob says, "F-f-f-f-f-f-f-fred fell down!"

ยป by Jeff on September 11 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Trackbacks to Faith Healing Failure