A couple of drunk Irishmen are wandering home after a late night of drinkin' and carousin', and get into an argument. So, they stop at the nearest convent, hoping one of the nuns can settle their dispute.
They knock on the door, a Sister answers, and one of the Irishmen asks, "Beggin' your pardon, Sister, but do ye have any nuns here in this convent about yeah high?" And holds his hand about two and a half feet from the ground.
The sister answers, "No, no... I'm quite certain we don't have any sisters... not even novitiates, that are nearly that short."
"Well then, how's about one that short, somewhere in this parish?"
Again, "No, not even in this entire parish is there one that short, lad!"
"Well, I'm guessin' there's GOT to be one that short somewhere in the entire Diocese!"
"That I couldn't say - let me ask the Convent Mother Superior." She runs off and gets the Mother Superior, who appears at the door, saying, "No, I'm quite certain - there isn't a single nun in the entire Diocese that is quite that short! Why, I can assure you, there isn't a nun that short in the whole of Ireland!"
The one Irishman turns to the other one and says, "See wha' I waz tryin' te tell ye! Ye've just gone and focked a penguin!"