Limerick time!

There once was a fella named Dave,
who kept a dead whore in his cave.
He said, "I know you must think
of the unbearable stink
But imagine the money I save!"
There once was a fella named Blair;
Who was fucking is wife on the stair.
When the bannister broke,
He doubled his stroke,
And finished her off in mid-air!

Bullshit so far »

» by Jeff on May 31 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Roger Morris

There was a young student from Boston,

Who drove around in an Austen.

There was room for his ass

and a gallon of gas.

But his balls hung out and he lost 'em.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on July 9 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By:Al the Pal

There once was a man named McGill,

Whose acts grew exceedingly ill,

He insisted on habits,

involving white rabbits,

and a bird with a flexible bill.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on July 8 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By:Tom Maguire

There once was a girl named Madonna

To all the boys she'd ask "Do yo wanna?"

Warren Beatty said no,

called her a "HO"

Now she cries and smokes marijuana.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on July 7 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By:Krishna Jayaraman

There was a lady who triplets begat

Nat, Pat and Tat

It was fun breeding

But trouble feeding

Cause she didn't have a tit for Tat.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on June 25 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By:
Krishna Jayaraman

There was a man called Dave

Who kept a dead whore in a cave

He said "I admit

I am a bit of a shit

But think of the money I save".

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on June 24 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By: Bill E. Bob

There once was a cat named black,

he ran around and smoked crack,

till one day,

he was found gay,

now he sucks.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on June 10 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By: Sugar

There once was a man from Nantucket,

who was old, but not yet kicked the bucket,

don't be a creep,

at the sound of the beep,

leave a message or you can just f-- orget about anyone calling you back!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on June 9 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By: Bruce

Tthere once was a couple named Kelly

who walked around belly to belly

because in their haste

they used library paste

instead of petroleum jelly

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on June 8 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By: Michael Lehane

There once was a technician named Lil.

That took a chance on a Nuclear Pill.

They found her vagina,

in South Carolina,

and her boobs in a tree in Brazil!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on June 7 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By: Scott Straub

The once was a young girl from Norway

Who hung by her feet from the doorway;

Which worked out quite well,

'Cause when you rang her bell,

It actually turned out to be foreplay!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on June 6 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By: Bryan King

There once was a chick named Alice

who used dynamite for a phallus

it blew a hole in her vagina

like South Carolina

and bits of her tits in Dallas

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on June 5 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By:Dan Benko

There once as a man from Nantucket

Whose dick was so long he could suck it

He said with a grin

As he wiped off his chin,

"If my ear were a c#%+ I would f@#* it!"

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on June 4 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Limericks
» black jack gaming casino links with: black jack gaming casino

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By: Papa Johnny

A nudist girl wearing three raisins

A masquerade prize was her goal.

The judges said, "Lookie,

From the front she's a cookie,

From the rear she's a Parker house Roll."

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on June 3 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By: Bad Girl

There once was a man from Madrass

Who's balls were constructed of brass

When jangled together

They played stormy weather

And lightening shot out of his ass!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on June 2 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By: Papa Johnny

There once was a Bishop of Treet

Who decided to be indiscreet,

But after one round

To his horror he found

You repeat, and repeat, and repeat.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on June 1 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By:Papa Johnny

A pansy who lived in Khartoum

Took a lesbian up to his room,

And they argued all night

Over who had the right

To do what, and with which, and to whom.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 28 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By:R. Guptill

There once was a pirate (the story relates)

who liked to go dancing on roller skates.

He fell on his cutlass

which rendered him nutless

and virtually useless on dates.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 27 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Allan Kitching

There was a young fellow named perkin

Who was always jerkin his gherkin

His father said perkin

Stop jerkin your gherkin

Your gherkins fer ferkin not jerkin

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 25 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By: Bad Girl

There once was a man from Madrass

Who's balls were constructed of brass

When jangled together

They played stormy weather

And lightening shot out of his ass!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 24 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Papa Johnny

There once was a Bishop of Treet

Who decided to be indiscreet,

But after one round

To his horror he found

You repeat, and repeat, and repeat.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 19 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Deirdre Kinney

There once was a man from Bel Air,

Who was doing his girl on the stair.

When the banister broke,

He doubled his stroke,

And finished her off in mid-air.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 18 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By: Justin Eisele

There once was a man named Dan

He once ate beans from a can

His colon swelled

his wife said oh well

and what rhymes with dan and can?

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 14 :: Permalink :: Comments (4) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By: Art Burke

There once was a man named Screwy Dick,

A man who was born with a spiral prick.

His life was spent in one long hunt

to find the girl with the spiral cunt.

When he found her he dropped dead,

'cause that damn bitch had left hand thread!!!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 13 :: Permalink :: Comments (3) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By: Roger Morris

There was a young girl from Cape Cod,

Who thought babies came only from God.

T'wasn't the Almighty

Who lifted her nightie.

T'was Roger the Lodger by god!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 12 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By: GBlowfish

There once was a Senator from Mass

who was searchin around for a Lass;

He lucked out and found it;

He fucked up and drowned it.

And That was the end of HIS ass!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 11 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By:
Roger Morris

There was a young student from Boston,

Who drove around in an Austen.

There was room for his ass

and a gallon of gas.

But his balls hung out and he lost 'em.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 7 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By:
Al the Pal

There once was a man named McGill,

Whose acts grew exceedingly ill,

He insisted on habits,

involving white rabbits,

and a bird with a flexible bill.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 6 :: Permalink :: Comments (3) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By:
Tom Maguire

There once was a girl named Madonna

To all the boys she'd ask "Do yo wanna?"

Warren Beatty said no,

called her a "HO"

Now she cries and smokes marijuana.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 5 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By:
Krishna Jayaraman

There was a lady who triplets begat

Nat, Pat and Tat

It was fun breeding

But trouble feeding

Cause she didn't have a tit for Tat!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 4 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By:
Krishna Jayaraman

There was a man called Dave

Who kept a dead whore in a cave

He said "I admit

I am a bit of a shit

But think of the money I save".

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 3 :: Permalink :: Comments (5) :: Limericks

Limericks for Winos

One of my drunken wino fans has requested I post some limericks... actually a pretty good idea... coming from a drunken wino! So here it is.

A limerick is a five-line poem written with one couplet and one triplet. If a couplet is a two-line rhymed poem, then a triplet would be a three-line rhymed poem. The rhyme pattern is a a b b a with lines 1, 2 and 5 containing 3 beats and rhyming, and lines 3 and 4 having two beats and rhyming. Some people say that the limerick was invented by soldiers returning from France to the Irish town of Limerick in the 1700's.

Limericks are meant to be funny. They often contain hyperbole, onomatopoeia, idioms, puns, and other figurative devices. The last line of a good limerick contains the PUNCH LINE or "heart of the joke." As you work with limericks, remember to have pun, I mean FUN! Say the following limericks out loud and clap to the rhythm.


From the files of Naughty Limericks...

Submitted By:
Krishna Jayaraman

There was a man from Ghent

Who had a penis so long it bent

It was so much trouble

That he kept it double

And instead of coming he went.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 2 :: Permalink :: Comments (4) :: Limericks