Mad Dog Bad Example Hervey's Turkey Day

I talked to Harvey earlier today and asked him how his Turkey Day went. He goes into this long diatribe about how everyone in his family came over to the trailer for Turkey Day and he even had an unexpected guest.

Lorena catches Debbie adding a box of Ex-Lax to Diane's special brown gravy to insure that everyone will "be regular" afterwards.

Niece Laura shows up wearing her new mink stole that has a blaze-orange circle-and-slash painted on the back of it and proudly displays nephew Matthew's summons for his court date to answer for beating the crap out of the animal rights activists who ruined Laura's new coat.

Blogless Brother John, who just flew in for Thanksgiving from some unnamed South American country, keeps popping up like a jack-in-the-box and fiddling with his "piece" in a low-profile belt holster while nervously spying from the kitchen bay window up and down the street with binoculars.

Cousin Ronnie shows up with his new bride, his three-quarters sister Shandra, who is his sister by his father and his oldest full sister.

Uncle Roy coughs and sputters up in his rusty old pickup and asks those attending if anyone has a fresh pouch of "Redman" chewing tobacco that he can shove down into the transmission to keep it from leaking all the fluid out until he can make back home.

Aunt Patty shows up with freaky sister Connie, who brings her new "best friend" as well as her current parole officer and live-in lesbian lover and Domme who is also an associate producer on The Jerry Springer Show.

Second-cousin Blogless Tom brings as his guest his current analyst, who's doing his doctoral thesis in primitive societal familial subcultures.

Uncle Mike, who's legally blind but can see some shapes and colors and shadows and who also got legally blind fucking stone drunk before ever showing up with his wife Aunt Sarah, keeps "accidentally" nearly falling into all the women and copping feels as he seeks to regain his balance.

13-year-old cousin Derrick asks his cousins Ben & Jeff if he can borrow their thermal-melt scale device, so he can check the purity of an eight-ball "rock" he just bought from cousin Scott.

Uncle Harvey serves the turkey flambe' by pouring some his famous homemade 'shine all over it and igniting it with a flick from his unfiltered Camel cigarette, creating a ball of flame that alights what hair is left on Uncle Gary's head and gives third-degree burns to his balding pate, filling the dining room with the stench of roasting human as well as turkey flesh, as 911 is called for the second time on this special Thanksgiving holiday.

[More under the jump]

Last Call »

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 24 :: Permalink :: Comments (4) :: Corner of the Bar Gang
» Bad Example links with: THANKSGIVING ODDITIES

Corner of The Bar Gang

Madfish Willie's is proud to present a new member of The Corner Of The Bar Gang. Since that stingy fucker Harvey refuses to blogroll him, I thought Madfish Willie's should do something for Mr Dave.

A regular reader (according to Sitemeter), HeadChair is now annointed with all the privileges and responsibilities accorded to the members of Madfish Willie's Corner of The Bar Gang.

Here is the key to The Champagne Room. Remember... there is NO SEX in The Champagne Room.

Now everyone go over and harass welcome Dave for the next couple of days.

Last Call »

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 20 :: Permalink :: Comments (6) :: Corner of the Bar Gang
» HeadChair links with: Bits and Bytes: A look around blogville

The Beer That Time Forgot

A few years ago a dozen or so of us put our names in for a slow-pitch softball tournament about 100 kilometers away. That means on the road 6 o'clock in the morning with bats and balls and beer. Our first game was 8 o'clock and we started on the beer right away - drinking and hitting and running around. The day was looking good. After that game we went to a little club that was nearby to enjoy some refreshments inside and plot strategy for the next game - who'll pitch, who'll sit out and who'll go get more beer. While we were there Harvey noticed a beer on the top of the cooler easily within reach. So when the owner left the bar for a couple of seconds Harvey ran over, grabbed it and bought it back to the table and started drinking it. We asked how it was and he said it was a bit stale but it was free so you can't complain. Then the owner came back and right away he yelled "WHICH ONE OF YOU TOOK THE GOD DAMN BEER OFF THE COOLER?" We were quiet for a couple of seconds and Harvey said he took it and asked what the big deal was - he'll pay for it. But the owner said it was an old style beer bottle from ten years ago that he was going to put in a display case at the bar. I guess that plan went down the drain. That was our last trip to that bar so I'm not sure what he put in the display case after.

~Matty O'Blackfive

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on May 12 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Corner of the Bar Gang

Corner of the Bar Gang Present

Christmas Presents for the Corner of the Bar Gang!

pamibe, my partner in design crime, has come up with a fantastic new logo for the exalted Corner of the Bar Gang! Pam really does some nice work! Make sure you go over and tell her thanks!


Corner of the Bar Gang logo
Corner of the Bar Gang

If you see any of the Gang in the following list, tell them to get over here and get their present. [Look down in the extended entry for instructions]

Misha I: Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Sir John: Argghhh!!!
Pervey: Bad Money
Matt: Blackfive
Jeff: BigStick.US
Darren: Colorado Conservative
Galstaff: Finn the Viking
Phil: Flying Chair
Graumagus: Frizzen Sparks
Matthew: Matthew J Stinson
Mike: Mike the Marine
Paige: Paiges Page
The Geek: Physics Geek
SilverBlue: Ramblings of SilverBlue
Eric: Straight White Guy
The Commisar: The Politiburo Diktat
Tiger: Tiger: Raggin & Rantin
Pylorns: Wet Wired

If I left you off the list, fire off a nasty comment and I'll get you put in the sidebar as soon as I can!

Last Call »

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 30 :: Permalink :: Comments (18) :: Corner of the Bar Gang

Welcome to My World!

Long time lurker and commentor supreme, Mike the Marine, he of the fictitous e-mail address somewhere out in BFE, has just moved into bloggerville.

A hearty welcome to Mike the Marine from Madfish Willie and the Corner of the Bar Gang and the Corner of the Bar Babes!

As a matter of fact, Madfish has just been waitin to honor you with a membership to the Gang. So now you are duly initiated into the Corner of the Bar Gang with cold beers and free pretzels all night long. [Remember, there is NO SEX in The Champagne Room]

Now, everybody go over there and harass Mike the Marine for a change!! We look forward to his wit and expert commentary.

In case you need to blogroll him real quick:

[http://hallsofmontezumashoresoftripoli.blogspot.com/]

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 4 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Corner of the Bar Gang
» XSet links with: For want of anything better

Mad Dog Bad Money Harvey's Turkey Day

I talked to Harvey earlier today and asked him how his Turkey Day went. He goes into this long diatribe about how everyone in his family came over to the trailer for Turkey Day and he even had an unexpected guest.

Lorena catches Debbie adding a box of Ex-Lax to Diane's special brown gravy to insure that everyone will "be regular" afterwards.

Niece Laura shows up wearing her new mink stole that has a blaze-orange circle-and-slash painted on the back of it and proudly displays nephew Matthew's summons for his court date to answer for beating the crap out of the animal rights activists who ruined Laura's new coat.

Blogless Brother John, who just flew in for Thanksgiving from some unnamed South American country, keeps popping up like a jack-in-the-box and fiddling with his "piece" in a low-profile belt holster while nervously spying from the kitchen bay window up and down the street with binoculars.

Cousin Ronnie shows up with his new bride, his three-quarters sister Shandra, who is his sister by his father and his oldest full sister.

Uncle Roy coughs and sputters up in his rusty old pickup and asks those attending if anyone has a fresh pouch of "Redman" chewing tobacco that he can shove down into the transmission to keep it from leaking all the fluid out until he can make back home.

Aunt Patty shows up with freaky sister Connie, who brings her new "best friend" as well as her current parole officer and live-in lesbian lover and Domme who is also an associate producer on The Jerry Springer Show.

Second-cousin Blogless Tom brings as his guest his current analyst, who's doing his doctoral thesis in primitive societal familial subcultures.

Uncle Mike, who's legally blind but can see some shapes and colors and shadows and who also got legally blind fucking stone drunk before ever showing up with his wife Aunt Sarah, keeps "accidentally" nearly falling into all the women and copping feels as he seeks to regain his balance.

13-year-old cousin Derrick asks his cousins Ben & Jeff if he can borrow their thermal-melt scale device, so he can check the purity of an eight-ball "rock" he just bought from cousin Scott.

Uncle Harvey serves the turkey flambe' by pouring some his famous homemade 'shine all over it and igniting it with a flick from his unfiltered Camel cigarette, creating a ball of flame that alights what hair is left on Uncle Gary's head and gives third-degree burns to his balding pate, filling the dining room with the stench of roasting human as well as turkey flesh, as 911 is called for the second time on this special Thanksgiving holiday.

Last Call »

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 28 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Corner of the Bar Gang

A BigStick Thanksgiving

Why college students Jeff likes Thanksgiving Break:

  • You know that your turkey is a Butterball rather than a Grade E yet semi-edible fur ball.

  • Your mother will not be serving your mashed potatoes and stuffing with an ice cream scooper.

  • Pumpkin pie is a great alternative to green jello.

  • After your eighth glass of cider, your emergency dash to the bathroom will not be delayed by having to line the seat with toilet paper.

  • Clean underwear, comfortable bed, access to a car, bedroom larger than a 12x14 cell...Even if it is for only four days.

  • To eat your meals, the only trek you'll have to make is from the couch to the kitchen, rather than the dorm to the dining hall in below freezing weather.

  • Instead of listening to "When I first started teaching here..." you can be entertained by "When your mother was your age..." and "during the Depression we weren't lucky enough to have Brussels sprouts. Hell, all we could afford was the sprout!"

  • You can eat your corn steamed with butter rather than popped in your microwave.

  • You know the hair in the shower drain is your own.

  • You won't be eating your Thanksgiving meal off a tray!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 27 :: Permalink :: Comments (4) :: Corner of the Bar Gang

Blackfive Turkey Day Adventures

Matty O'Blackfive Turkey Day Instructions:

How To Cook A Turkey
1) Go buy a turkey.
2) Take a drink of scotch whisky (Glenmorangie) or Jack Daniels.
3) Put turkey in the oven.
4) Take another 2 drinks of whiskey.
5) Set the degree at 375 ovens
6) Take 3 more whiskeys of drink.
7) Turn oven the on.
8) Take 4 whisks of drinky.
9) Turk the bastey.
10) Whiskey another bottle of get.
11) Stick a turkey in the thermometer
12) Glass yourself a pour of whiskey.
13) Bake the whiskey for 4 hours.
14) Take the oven out of the turkey.
15) Take the oven out of the turkey.
16) Floor the turkey up off of the pick.
17) Turk the carvey.
18) Get yourself another scottle of botch.
19) Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey.
20) Bless the saying, pass and eat out.

Turkey Dressing (15#)
3 cups bread crumbs
2 large onions
2 cups of celery
2 tablespoons of poultry seasoning
2 cups of unpopped popcorn
Stuff turkey.
Bake at 350 degrees for 5 hours until corn pops and blows the turkey's ass across the room!

Drinking Prayer
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink.
Thy will be drunk, (I will be drunk),
At home as it is in the pub.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us.
And lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers.
For thine is the beer, The bitter, The lager.
Barmen.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 26 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Corner of the Bar Gang
» Blackfive - The Paratrooper of Love links with: Wednesday 'Sphere
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: Waterin' Hole
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: Waterin' Hole
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63
» Begging To Differ links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES # 63

Jeff the Blegger

OK... Jeff from BigStick.US, poverty stricken member of Madfish Willie's Corner of the Bar Gang, needs some help to buy a digital camera. He is going to Frnace for a semester in January and wants to document that dreadful experience through his blog. [Plus, he says he lives across from the girls dormitories at school... sick fucker!]

He was going to get a cheap old piece of shit [aka POS] camera, but I talked him in to getting one that will last a few years and have the features he needs such as high speed, lots o' pixels, etc.

Go help him out and drop a couple of bucks in his PayPal because, quite frankly, Madfish is getting fucking tired of carrying his sorry ass around here. You should see his damn bar tab... and he never tips The Bartender either... dickhead!

While you're over there have a piece of Free Pie and sign his GuestMap!


PS If you need guidance as to how and what to contribute go read Harvey's take on the Pizza Rule!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 25 :: Permalink :: Comments (5) :: Corner of the Bar Gang
» Straight White Guy links with: I Want To Add to the List..
» Straight White Guy links with: I Want To Add to the List..

Cyborg Bloggers I

C.Y.B.O.R.G. Generator
Enter your name and the Cyborger will tell you your Cyborg name and your dark purpose.

Cyborg name generator came up with these descriptive names and purposes for the members of Madfish Willie's Corner of the Bar Gang!

M.A.D.F.I.S.H.: Mechanical Artificial Device Fabricated for Infiltration and Scientific Harm
W.I.L.L.I.E.: Wireless Intelligent Lifeform Limited to Infiltration and Exploration
B.A.R.T.E.N.D.E.R.: Biomechanical Android Responsible for Troubleshooting and Exploration/Networked Device Engineered for Repair

B.A.D.M.O.N.E.Y.: Biomechanical Artificial Device Manufactured for Online Nullification and Efficient Yardwork
B.L.A.C.K.F.I.V.E.: Biomechanical Lifeform Assembled for Calculation and Killing/Facsimile Intended for Violence and Exploration

E.R.I.C.: Electronic Robotic Infiltration Construct
P.H.I.L.: Positronic Hazardous Infiltration Lifeform
M.A.T.T.: Mechanical Android Trained for Troubleshooting
H.A.R.V.E.Y.: Hydraulic Android Responsible for Violence and Efficient Yardwork
M.I.S.H.A.I.: Mechanical Individual Skilled in Hazardous Assassination and Infiltration
S.I.R.J.O.H.N.: Synthetic Intelligent Replicant Justified for Observation and Hazardous Nullification
G.A.L.S.T.A.F.F.: General Artificial Lifeform Skilled in Terran Assassination and Forbidden Fighting
G.R.A.U.M.A.G.U.S.: General Robotic Android Used for Mathematics/Android Generated for Ultimate Sabotage
S.I.L.V.E.R.B.L.U.E.: Synthetic Individual Limited to Violence and Exploration/Robotic Biomechanical Lifeform Used for Exploration
L.O.R.D.S.P.A.T.U.L.A.: Lifeform Optimized for Repair and Dangerous Sabotage/Positronic Artificial Troubleshooting and Ultimate Learning Android

Last Call »

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 17 :: Permalink :: Comments (10) :: Corner of the Bar Gang
» Ramblings of SilverBlue links with: Early Morning Link-Luv™
» Blackfive - The Paratrooper of Love links with: Tuesday Trot Through the Blogoshpere
» Blackfive - The Paratrooper of Love links with: Tuesday Trot Through the Blogoshpere
» Blackfive - The Paratrooper of Love links with: Tuesday Trot Through the Blogoshpere
» Argghhh!!! The Home of one of Jonah's Military Guys© links with: In the meantime, over at Madfish Willies....
» Argghhh!!! The Home of one of Jonah's Military Guys© links with: In the meantime, over at Madfish Willies....
» Argghhh!!! The Home of one of Jonah's Military Guys© links with: In the meantime, over at Madfish Willies....
» BigStick.us links with: Link Fest '03
» Argghhh!!! The Home of one of Jonah's Military Guys© links with: In the meantime, over at Madfish Willies....

A Night At Blender's

I have just experienced the drinking weekend to end all drinking weekends, and only now have I summoned the courage to put pen to paper (or whatever the e-mail equivalent is). I do believe I've recovered enough to write this...although I do it with shaking hands. The story opens as follows... I work part time at a nightclub called Madfish Willie's… that's all you need to know. A couple of times a year we take our Corner of the Bar Gang cash fund and go do something cool with it… like river rafting. Sunday, we decided to go down to Evil Glenn's bar and cause a ruckus down there... but I'll get to that in a minute... the night before, Madfish Willie's had an anniversary appreciation night where everyone who showed up received five tickets good for free drinks... since I only work on Fridays and usually don't come in at all on my days off… everyone was surprised as hell to see me there. Free booze… of course I'm gonna show, jeebus... the waitresses were buying me shooters… I bought them shooters… enjoyed my free booze… danced up a storm… did a whole lot of yelling and ass-grabbing… and don't remember a goddamn thing… but we do have some pictures.

I got a call Sunday morning from my buddy Blackfive… he asked if I could pick up Harvey and bring him out to Madfish Willie's house for the pre-trip barbecue... Super-groggy and massively hung over, I managed to get Harvey and drive out to Madfish's for the festivities… which got off to a great start when one of the guys started pissing off the front porch in view of the neighbors... we headed around back to start drinking some more… some of the guys had been up all night after the club drinking and were fucking incoherent… and the kegs were in full force… Blackfive had his sixer of beers in one hand… Harvey had a kool-aid pitcher of beer in the other at all times… amply topped off with several judicious trips to the beer keg downstairs. As the Corner of the Bar Gang are wont to do, the testosterone level got higher and higher… and the plans we had for Evil Glenn's bar were becoming more outrageous by the minute.

Last Call »

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 12 :: Permalink :: Comments (8) :: Corner of the Bar Gang
» Straight White Guy links with: Madfish Willie..
» Argghhh!!! The Home of one of Jonah's Military Guys© links with: I got an email from a GFW* today.
» Note-It Posts links with: In tribute...
» Note-It Posts links with: In tribute...
» Note-It Posts links with: In tribute...
» Peaktalk links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES, 61st EDITION
» Peaktalk links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES, 61st EDITION
» Peaktalk links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES, 61st EDITION
» Peaktalk links with: CARNIVAL OF THE VANITIES, 61st EDITION

Preliminary Logo

I also have a preliminary logo for the Corner of the Bar Gang. Let me know what you think and how you want to have it changed up, if any at all.

COTBG.gif

Just upload to your photo server and put it at the top of your link or in your banner area linking back to me or in every post next week or whatever.

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 3 :: Permalink :: Comments (4) :: Corner of the Bar Gang
» Blackfive - The Paratrooper of Love links with: Best O' My Blogosphere Today
» Ramblings of SilverBlue links with: Monday's Link-Luv™ List

You Asked, Harvey Answers

You asked and Harvey, my Blogfather, from Bad Money answered - all your questions.

The latest heart-stopping, thrilling interview is posted at Jennifer's History & Stuff.

Harvey did a great job answering with both a touch of humor and slight bit of intelligence. However [blaming it on MS Outlook] he neglects to send links with the questions. He does make it up by posting site links on his page.

Go over to Jennifer's now and read Harvey's interview, and then go over to Harvey's and kick his ass for not doing the linky thingy right!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on October 30 :: Permalink :: Comments (8) :: Corner of the Bar Gang

Finn the Viking

Linda from Civilization Calls, one of The Corner of the Bar Babe's, Husband, hereinafter referred to as Finn, the Viking, has a new blog called:

Casting Magic Missile at the darkness
Or sometimes throwing fireballs
from behind the frontline troops
I think we need to invite Finn, the Viking to be a part of the Corner of The Bar Gang! With a name like that, he can't miss. Plus, he can help us watch over the Corner of The Bar Babes. I forsee many an exciting adventure where Finn, the Viking kicks some major ass!

I have found the perfect theme video for Finn, the Viking called Viking Kittens with songtrack by Led Zepplin. Don't let the name fool you. Just because they're kittens, doesn't mean these aren't some Bad-Ass Kittens!

Thios is what Linda tells us about him:

Gamer, Mac initiated, writer, poet, philosopher, impish wag, descendent of Vikings, and so much more... Stop by and say "howdy" to "Galstaff" when you get a chance.
So, go over and check him out, and convice him to join with The Alliance against Evil Glenn, the Puppy Blender.

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on October 25 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Corner of the Bar Gang

Picking Up The Pieces

[Continued from The Titty Bar Debacle]

We get in our trucks and head back over to Madfish Willie's. This time, Harvey's driving. He won't let Blackfive drive in his current condition. He's a little easier for me to follow - but not much. He drives like a madman, too.

It's getting to be about the time that the joint really packs out. As we pull into the parking lot, I see the line snaking out the door. Good thing we have reserved parking spaces close to the door. As we jump out of the truck, Blackfive makes us repeat our oath not to tell. We repeat it (Harvey still has his fingers crossed) and head toward the club.

Shit, Susie is gonna kill us for being gone so long. St John of Argghh!!! is working the door, making sure we don't get overcrowded and have the Fire Marshall down here jacking with us. We squeeze by the people in line. They start raising hell.'Yaya ya ya ya' is all I hear.

A scream is heard that drowns out the sound system. It's Susie. "Damn you guys! Where the hell have you been? I told you 'no titty bars!' Blah, blah, blah, blah." She throws a glass at us. We all duck. I hear the sound of something whizzing by my ear as the glass hits the wall and shatters.

Last Call »

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on October 20 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Corner of the Bar Gang

The Corner of The Bar Gang

Exactly what is The Corner of The Bar Gang?
The original Corner of The Bar Gang was at the legendary, little Dallas club in San Antonio around '81 - '90.

They were a group of about 25 guys. At any one time, there would be at least 1 of them sitting at the corner of the bar, drinking. From open to close, there was always one of them sitting on those stools. Rain, snow, shit or shine! Usually a group of three to five. Damn, we make a lot of money off those guys over the years. They paid our rents, bought our cars, paid for our girlfriends, everything.

But, we had to put up with a lot shit from them too. They got away with stuff I have thrown people in jail for doing when I managed places. And they would always dog the crap out of the new bartenders! Way too funny! They would dog 'em until the new guy nearly cried.

On his first day, during Happy Hour, Sid, my roommate and the fastest bartender I ever saw or worked with, was getting the treatment. He came up to me and asked, "What the fuck's with them guys?" I told him, "Just go over there and tell them to Fuck Off and they'll leave you alone." Sid went straight over to the corner and the next time they said anything to him, Sid unloaded! You've never heard such loud laughing in a bar ever! They drowned out the sound system. They were laughing so hard, they were crying! Hey, and I was laughing and crying with them. Needless to say, Sid became their number one bartender.

How do I get into Madfish Willie's Corner of The Bar Gang?
I don't know for sure, ask Harvey and Blackfive - they're in charge of it. But, I'm pretty sure it involves heavy drinking and lots of laughing.

What are the benefits of being a member of Madfish Willie's Corner of The Bar Gang?

A couple of drinks every time you drop by, free pretzels all night, and cookies while they last.

Remember: There is no sex in "The Champagne Room". [nudge]*[nudge]*[wink]*[wink]

Plus you're linked from this post, there's a COBG header in my sidebar, and you get to be part of
The Continuing Adventures of Madfish Willie!

Members of Madfish Willie's Corner of The Bar Gang

Harvey at Bad Money
Matt at Blackfive
Emperor Misha I at The Anti-Idiotarian Rottweiler
Frank J at IMAO
Steve at Lord Spatula's BBS
Eric at Straight White Guy
Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on October 17 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Corner of the Bar Gang

The Corner of the Bar Gang

>Exactly what is The Corner of The Bar Gang?


    The original Corner of The Bar Gang was at the legendary, little Dallas club in San Antonio around '81 - '90.

    They were a group of about 25 guys. At any one time, there would be at least 1 of them sitting at the corner of the bar, drinking. From open to close, there was always one of them sitting on those stools. Rain, snow, shit or shine! Usually a group of three to five. Damn, we make a lot of money off those guys over the years. They paid our rents, bought our cars, paid for our girlfriends, everything.

    But, we had to put up with a lot shit from them too. They got away with stuff I have thrown people in jail for doing when I managed places. And they would always dog the crap out of the new bartenders! Way too funny! They would dog 'em until the new guy nearly cried.

    On his first day, during Happy Hour, Sid, my roommate and the fastest bartender I ever saw or worked with, was getting the treatment. He came up to me and asked, "What the fuck's with them guys?" I told him, "Just go over there and tell them to Fuck Off and they'll leave you alone." Sid went straight over to the corner and the next time they said anything to him, Sid unloaded! You've never heard such loud laughing in a bar ever! They drowned out the sound system. They were laughing so hard, they were crying! Hey, and I was laughing and crying with them. Needless to say, Sid became their number one bartender.

How do I get into Madfish Willie's Corner of The Bar Gang?


    I don't know for sure, ask Harvey and Blackfive - they're in charge of it. But, I'm pretty sure it involves heavy drinking and lots of laughing.

What are the benefits of being a member of Madfish Willie's Corner of The Bar Gang?

    A couple of drinks every time you drop by, free pretzels all night, and cookies while they last.

    Remember: There is no sex in "The Champagne Room". [nudge]*[nudge]*[wink]*[wink]

    Plus you're linked from this post, there's a COBG header in my sidebar, and you get to be part of
    The Continuing Adventures of Madfish Willie!

Members of Madfish Willie's Corner of The Bar Gang


Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on October 17 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Corner of the Bar Gang
» Bad Example links with: WHO THE HELL IS MUDFISH BILLIE?

The Titty Bar Debacle

After The Beer Store Caper, Blackfive decides we needed to get away for awhile and relax. Some place different. (Here we go again.)

Blackfive: "I'm drivin'"

Harvey: "Shotgun!"

"Crap, I ain't riding between you two jack-offs. I'll take my own truck. That way, when I get tired of listenin' to all ya'lls bullshit, I can go back to work. I'll follow you, Blackfive, let's HA (haul ass)."

Blackfive: "Don't be drivin' like an old man, you turd! Stay up with us big boys this time!"

"Bite me."

With that, Blackfive peels out into the traffic, fish-tailing and sliding everywhere, in a dark gray cloud of rubber smoke.

"Shit, I'm gonna get a ticket following this idiot."

Last Call »

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on October 17 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Corner of the Bar Gang