Harv and the Monkey

A guy is sitting in a pub, when he notices a monkey sitting at the other end of the rail, drinking beer. The guy watches as the monkey finishes the beer and then motions towards the chips on the wall. The bartender hands the monkey another beer and a bag of chips. In a little while, the monkey motions to the bartender again, this time pointing behind the bar. The bartender walks over and hands the monkey a banana.

The guy watches and makes the comment about the monkey being pretty special. The bartender laughs and says, "You think that's special? Check this out...", and pulls a 2 x 4 from under the bar. He lifts the board overhead and looks at the monkey. The monkey shrugs, and takes a swig of beer, only to have the bartender smack him atop the head with the 2 x 4.

The monkey shrieks in pain, runs over and pulls the bartender's schwanz out of his pants, and begins to give him the most intense blowjob that anyone present has ever witnessed. After the monkey finishes, he takes his seat atop his barstool, and resumes drinking beer.

The guy is impressed, as well as the other patrons of the bar. The bartender grins, holds out the 2 x 4, and says, "Anyone else want to give it a shot?"

Harvey, who's witnessed the whole thing, says, " Hell, yeah. Just don't hit me that hard..."