Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon: Dumb Ass Jokes Archives

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.

Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!

Harv E Roo: I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk!
Kang A Roo: But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?

Harv E Roo: Pa's being chased by a bull!
Kang A Roo: Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?
Harv E Roo: Get me some film for my camera!

Harv E Roo: Name five things that contain milk.
Kang A Roo: Butter, cheese, ice cream ... and two cows!

Harv E Roo: That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing!
Kang A Roo: I told you he was a bum steer!

Harv E Roo: That tornado damage your cow barn any?
Kang A Roo: Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet!

Harv E Roo: What advice to cows give?
Kang A Roo: Turn the udder cheek and mooooove on!

Harv E Roo: What animals do you bring to bed?
Kang A Roo: Your calves.

Harv E Roo: What are cows favorite party games?
Kang A Roo: MOO-sical chairs!

Harv E Roo: What are the spots on black-and-white cows?
Kang A Roo: Holstaines

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on April 16 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.

Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!

Harv E Roo: If a bull is chasing you, what steps should you take?
Kang A Roo: The longest ones I could!

Harv E Roo: If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get?
Kang A Roo: Half and half!

Harv E Roo: If you crossed a cow with an insect, what would you get?
Kang A Roo: A moosquito!

Harv E Roo: If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get?
Kang A Roo: "Beeflt!"

Harv E Roo: If you crossed two cows with a flock of ducks, what would you get?
Kang A Roo: Milk and quackers!

Harv E Roo: If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first?
Kang A Roo: The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull!

Harv E Roo: If you make a cow angry, how will she get even?
Kang A Roo: She'll cream you!

Harv E Roo: If you see a whole field of cows, what's a fast way to figure out how many cattle there are?
Kang A Roo: Count the hooves and divide by four!

Harv E Roo: In what state will you find the most cows?
Kang A Roo: Moo York!

Harv E Roo: Is there big money in the cattle business?
Kang A Roo: So I've herd!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on April 15 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.

Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!

Harv E Roo: How did the calf s final exam turn out?
Kang A Roo: Grade A!

Harv E Roo: How did the cow feel when she couldn't give any milk?
Kang A Roo: Like an udder failure!

Harv E Roo: How did the farmer find his lost cow?
Kang A Roo: He tractor down

Harv E Roo: How do bulls drive their cars?
Kang A Roo: They steer them!

Harv E Roo: How do you make a milkshake?
Kang A Roo: Give a cow a pogo stick.

Harv E Roo: How does a cow do math?
Kang A Roo: With a cowculator!

Harv E Roo: How to you know that cows will be in heaven?
Kang A Roo: It's a place of udder delight.

Harv E Roo: I broke three wild bulls this morning.
Kang A Roo: How careless of you!

Harv E Roo: I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm.
Kang A Roo: Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?
Harv E Roo: I'd look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!

Harv E Roo:I hear you take milk baths.
Kang A Roo: That's right.
Harv E Roo: Why?
Kang A Roo: I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on April 14 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.

Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!

Harv E Roo: A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby.
Kang A Roo: Say, farmer. Is that bull safe?
Harv E Roo: Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!

Harv E Roo: A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked.
Kang A Roo: "Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!" the farmer answered.

Harv E Roo: Cow: Why don't you shoo those flies?
Kang A Roo: Bull: I'll let them go barefoot!

Harv E Roo: Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?
Kang A Roo: No! Did he hurt the cows?
Harv E Roo: No, he just grazed them!

Harv E Roo: Did you hear about the snobby cow?
Kang A Roo: She thought she was a cutlet above the rest!

Harv E Roo: Did you hear that Canada sold the U.S. a large herd of bison?
Kang A Roo: Did Canada send the U.S. a buffalo bill?

Harv E Roo: Did you know that I'm a dairy maid at a chocolate factory?
Kang A Roo: That's strange. What do you do?
Harv E Roo: I milk chocolates!

Harv E Roo: Does running out of a burning barn make a cow unusual?
Kang A Roo: No, only medium rare!

Harv E Roo: How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
Kang A Roo: They were very impressed!

Harv E Roo: How did that bullfight come out?
Kang A Roo: Oh, it was a toss-up!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on April 13 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.

Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!

Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the road half way ?
Kang A Roo: He wanted to lay it on the line !

Harv E Roo: What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
Kang A Roo: They go on peck-nics !

Harv E Roo: What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy ?
Kang A Roo: "You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours!"

Harv E Roo: Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
Kang A Roo: He wasn't what he was cracked up to be !

Harv E Roo: Is chicken soup good for your health ?
Kang A Roo: Not if you're the chicken !

Harv E Roo: What do chickens serve at birthday parties ?
Kang A Roo: Coop-cakes !

Harv E Roo: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn ?
Kang A Roo: An eggroll !

Harv E Roo: What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg ?
Kang A Roo: The bombshell !

Harv E Roo: Which day of the week do chickens hate most ?
Kang A Roo: Fry-day !

Harv E Roo: What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg ?
Kang A Roo: It eggs-plodes !

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on April 8 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.

Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!

Harv E Roo: Why did the cow cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To get to the udder side !

Harv E Roo: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Kang A Roo: Because it was stuck to the chicken !

Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the "net" ?
Kang A Roo: It wanted to get to the other site !

Harv E Roo: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning ?
Kang A Roo: An alarm cluck !

Harv E Roo: What does an alarm cluck say ?
Kang A Roo: "Tick-tock-a-doodle-doo !"

Harv E Roo: Why does a chicken coop have two doors ?
Kang A Roo: Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!

Harv E Roo: How long do chickens work ?
Kang A Roo: Around the cluck !

Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To prove to the possum that it could be done !

Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken end up in the soup ?
Kang A Roo: Because it ran out of cluck !

Harv E Roo: Why did the cow cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To go to the moooooovies !

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on April 7 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.

Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!

Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To get to the other side

Harv E Roo: Why did the rooster cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To cockadoodle dooo something

Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
Kang A Roo: He heard the referee calling fowls

Harv E Roo: Why did the turkey cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To prove he wasn't chicken

Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again ?
Kang A Roo: Because he was a dirty double-crosser

Harv E Roo: Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: Because he didn't have enough guts

Harv E Roo: Why did the chicken cross the playground ?
Kang A Roo: To get to the other slide

Harv E Roo: Why did the dinosaur cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: Because chickens hadn't evolved yet

Harv E Roo: Why did the turtle cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: To get to the shell station

Harv E Roo: Why did the horse cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: Because the chicken needed a day off

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on April 6 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.

Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!

Harv E Roo: What do you call a crazy chicken ?
Kang A Roo: A cuckoo cluck !

Harv E Roo: What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way ?
Kang A Roo: She was tickled to death !

Harv E Roo: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?
Kang A Roo: A bird that lays down !

Harv E Roo: Why don't chickens like people ?
Kang A Roo: They beat eggs !

Harv E Roo: Why did the rooster run away ?
Kang A Roo: He was chicken !

Harv E Roo: What do chickens grow on ?
Kang A Roo: Eggplants !

Harv E Roo: Why is it easy for chicks to talk ?
Kang A Roo: Because talk is cheep !

Harv E Roo: What happens when a hen eats gunpowder ?
Kang A Roo: She lays hand gren-eggs !

Harv E Roo: What happened when the chicken ate cement ?
Kang A Roo: She laid a sidewalk !

Harv E Roo: What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken ?
Kang A Roo: She kicked the bucket !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on April 4 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.

Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!

Wave the magic wand over Kang's answers too see them!!! Magic!

Harv E Roo: What looks like half a cat ?
Kang A Roo: The other half !

Harv E Roo: What happened when the cat ate a ball of wool ?
Kang A Roo: She had mittens !

Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ?
Kang A Roo: A carrot !

Harv E Roo: How do cats eat spaghetti ?
Kang A Roo: The same as everyone else - they put it in their mouths!

Harv E Roo: What is a French cat's favourite pudding ?
Kang A Roo: Chocolate mousse !

Harv E Roo: What do cat actors say on stage ?
Kang A Roo: Tabby or not tabby !

Harv E Roo: What did the cat say when he lost all his money ?
Kang A Roo: I'm paw !

Harv E Roo: How do you know if you cat's got a bad cold ?
Kang A Roo: He has cat-arrh !

Harv E Roo: How do you know if your cat has eaten a duckling ?
Kang A Roo: She's got that down in the mouth look !

Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cat and a gorilla ?
Kang A Roo: An animal that puts you out a night !

Harv E Roo: Why happened when the cat swallowed a coin ?
Kang A Roo: There was some money in the kitty !

Harv E Roo: Why did the cat sleep under the car ?
Kang A Roo: Because she wanted to wake up oily !

Cheers!

Last Call »

Bullshit so far »

Veddy clevah, dahlink!

Um...."rollover" tag? Crap. I'm thinking. . .MOUSEOVER!? Is that it? :o)

Heh.

posted by Emma at April 3, 2004 12:35 AM

Yeah it's a mouseover... that's the only way to make it work in IE, as IE doesn't recognize psuedo classes. Psuedo classes is a much more elegant method to achive the same effect. Psuedo classes work in all CSS compliant browsers such as Mozilla. Do yourself a favor... download, install and use Mozilla (if you aren't already)

Any, I picked this up over at Vigilance Matters. He did a self interview with a list of questions. There are big spaces between the questions and I had happened to run across the the space and the answers popped up. Wow... that's really cool. So I did a source view and gleaned his method.

I couldn't make it work the way he did for some reason. The /div tags wouldn't look right for some reason. so I had to break out my BIG hammer and go to work!

I put the style code on my stylesheet, and wrapped the answers in a span class. Then, my answers would always show as black text until you moused over, then they would disappear as requested. So I wrapped that code in a span class that made the answer text white as default color.

Now that I think about it, I could have made all the answers links back to the post and set my default links to white and the hover to grey and the visited to black. The only drawback there is clicking on the link and going to the permalink page. I wonder... can you set a "null" link? I'll check into that and see if it's possible as that will be much more flexible.

posted by Madfish Willie at April 3, 2004 09:17 AM

Do you like the answer to disappear after mouseover or the sticky effect? I want answers. I CAN handle The Truth!

posted by Madfish Willie at April 3, 2004 09:48 AM

I prefer the sticky effect.

Actually, what would be REALLY cool would be to have it toggle with a mouseover, so you could make answers come and go as you please.

Don't know if that's possible.

posted by Harvey at April 3, 2004 09:57 AM

« Shut your pie-hole!

» by Madfish Willie on April 3 :: Permalink :: Comments (4) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

To learn the answer to the funny joke, wave your magic wand over Kang A Roo's space! Not that wand, Pervey!

Harv E Roo: Why is a crazy marmalade cat like a biscuit ?
Kang A Roo: They are both ginger nuts !

Harv E Roo: What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck ?
Kang A Roo: A duck filled fatty puss !

Harv E Roo: What kind of cat should you take into the desert ?
Kang A Roo: A first aid kitty !

Harv E Roo: Why do cats chase birds ?
Kang A Roo: For a lark !

Harv E Roo: What do cats read in the morning ?
Kang A Roo: Mewspapers !

Harv E Roo: On what should you mount a statue of your cat ?
Kang A Roo: A caterpillar !

Harv E Roo: How is a cat laying down like a coin ?
Kang A Roo: Because he has his head on one side and his tail on the other !

Harv E Roo: What cat purrs more than any other ?
Kang A Roo: Purrsians !

Harv E Roo: How do you spell mousetrap in just three letters ?
Kang A Roo: C-A-T !

Harv E Roo: What do you get if cross a Tomcat with a Pekingese?
Kang A Roo: A Peking Tom !

Cheers!

Last Call »

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on April 2 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.

Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!

Harv E Roo: What do you do with a blue Burmese ?
Kang A Roo: Try and cheer it up a bit !

Harv E Roo: What is the cat's favourite TV show ?
Kang A Roo: The evening mews !

Harv E Roo: What's worse than raining cats and dogs ?
Kang A Roo: Hailing taxi cabs !

Harv E Roo: How is cat food sold ?
Kang A Roo: Usually purr can !

Harv E Roo: What noise does a cat make going down the highway ?
Kang A Roo: Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow !

Harv E Roo: What do you get if cross a cat with a canary ?
Kang A Roo: Shredded tweet !

Harv E Roo: What's the unluckiest kind of cat to have ?
Kang A Roo: A catastrophe !

Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree ?
Kang A Roo: A cat-a-logue !

Harv E Roo: What do you call a cat with eight legs that likes to swim ?
Kang A Roo: An octopuss !

Harv E Roo: Why did the cat join the Red Cross ?
Kang A Roo: Because she wanted to be a first-aid kit !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on April 1 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.

Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!

Harv E Roo: Who was the most powerful cat in China ?
Kang A Roo: Chairman Miaow !

Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cat with a bottle of vinegar ?
Kang A Roo: A sourpuss !

Harv E Roo: What is cleverer than a talking cat ?
Kang A Roo: A spelling bee !

Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cat with a canary ?
Kang A Roo: A peeping tom !

Harv E Roo: How do you know that cats are sensitive creatures?
Kang A Roo: They never cry over spilt milk !

Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a cat with Father Christmas ?
Kang A Roo: Santa Claws !

Harv E Roo: Why did the cat frown when she passed the hen house ?
Kang A Roo: Because she heard fowl language !

Harv E Roo: There were four cats in a boat, one jumped out. How many were left ?
Kang A Roo: None. They were all copy cats !

Harv E Roo: What is white, sugary, has whiskers and floats on the sea ?
Kang A Roo: A catameringue !

Harv E Roo: Why do tomcats fight ?
Kang A Roo: Because they like raising a stink !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on March 31 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.

Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!

Harv E Roo: Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge ?
Kang A Roo: Because it turns "ice" into "mice" !

Harv E Roo: When the cat's away.....?
Kang A Roo: The house smells better !

Harv E Roo: Why was the cat so small ?
Kang A Roo: Because it only ate condensed milk !

Harv E Roo: Why did the cat cross the road ?
Kang A Roo: It was the chicken's day off !

Harv E Roo: What works in a circus, walks a tightrope and has claws ?
Kang A Roo: An acrocat !

Harv E Roo: What do you call a cat wearing shoes ?
Kang A Roo: Puss in boots !

Harv E Roo: What does a cat call a bowl of mice ?
Kang A Roo: A purrfect meal !

Harv E Roo: What is another way to describe a cat ?
Kang A Roo: A heat seeking missile !

Harv E Roo: What did the cat do when he swallowed some cheese ?
Kang A Roo: He waited by the mouse hole with baited breath !

Harv E Roo: Why are cars longer in the evening than they are in the morning?
Kang A Roo: Because they're let out in the evening and taking in in the morning !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on March 30 :: Permalink :: Comments (7) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes as told by Harv E Roo.

Madfish Willie's is the #1 & #2 & #3 Google search result for: Dumb Ass Jokes!

Kang A Roo: Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?
Harv E Roo: A frog in a blender !

Kang A Roo: Whats yellow and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?
Harv E Roo: A mouldy frog in a blender !

Kang A Roo: Why was the frog down in the mouth ?
Harv E Roo: He was un hoppy !

Kang A Roo: How do frogs die ?
Harv E Roo: They kermit suicide !

Kang A Roo: What's a frogs favorite flower ?
Harv E Roo: A croakus !

Kang A Roo: Whats a frogs favorite game ?
Harv E Roo: It's croak-et !

Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog ?
Harv E Roo: A croaker spaniel !

Kang A Roo: What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad ?
Harv E Roo: Star Warts !

Kang A Roo: What kind of shoes to frogs like ?
Harv E Roo: Open toad sandals !

Kang A Roo: What do you call the English Toad Prize giving cermony ?
Harv E Roo: The Brit Awarts !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on March 29 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Harv E Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Harv E Roo to Kang A. Roo

Madfish Willie's is the #3 & #4 & #10 Google search result for: another word for dumb ass!

Harv E Roo: What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
Kang A Roo: An aardvark with the sniffles!

Harv E Roo: What does an aardvark use when he has a cold?
Kang A Roo: An ant-ihistamine!

Harv E Roo: What command does the aardvark give most often when he sails?
Kang A Roo: Snout about!

Harv E Roo: What does the aardvark take sailing?
Kang A Roo: An aard ark!

Harv E Roo: How do ants hide from aardvarks?
Kang A Roo: They disguise themselves as uncles!

Harv E Roo: Why do aardvarks like to talk to ants?
Kang A Roo: They can stick to the subject!

Harv E Roo: Why was Easter the aardvark's favorite holiday?
Kang A Roo: Because he liked aard-boiled eggs!

Harv E Roo: What has 200 legs, 50 noses, and is very loud?
Kang A Roo: A herd of stampeding aardvarks!

Harv E Roo: Where does the aardvark family always come first?
Kang A Roo: In the phone book!

Harv E Roo: What do you call a boxing match between two aardvarks?
Kang A Roo: A snout bout!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on February 3 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Harv E Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Harv E Roo to Kang A. Roo

Madfish Willie's is the #3 & #4 & #10 Google search result for: another word for dumb ass!

Harv E Roo: Who loves hamburgers, French fries, and ants?
Kang A Roo: Ronald MacAardvark!

Harv E Roo: What is uglier than an aardvark?
Kang A Roo: Two aardvarks!

Harv E Roo: What does the aardvark call his dog?
Kang A Roo: Aard-bark!

Harv E Roo: What is the difference between an aardvark and a coyote?
Kang A Roo: One has a long smeller, the other, a loud yeller!

Harv E Roo: What does an aardvark take for ant-digestion?
Kang A Roo: Anta-Seltzer!

Harv E Roo: What does an aardvark get when he overeats?
Kang A Roo: Ant-digestion!

Harv E Roo: What does an aardvark keep in his aquarium?
Kang A Roo: An aard-shark!

Harv E Roo: Who's the aardvark's favorite female vocalist?
Kang A Roo: Bearbara Streis-ant!

Harv E Roo: Who's aardvark's favorite male singer?
Kang A Roo: Frank Sinostril!

Harv E Roo: What are the aardvark's favorite Beatle's songs?
Kang A Roo: It's Been an Aards Day's Night and I Want to Hold Your Ant!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on February 2 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Harv E Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Harv E Roo to Kang A. Roo

Madfish Willie's is the #3 & #4 & #10 Google search result for: another word for dumb ass!

Harv E Roo: Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper ?
Kang A Roo: He had his own frog horn !

Harv E Roo: What did the bus conductor ay to the frog ?
Kang A Roo: Hop on !

Harv E Roo: What do you say to a hitchhiking frog ?
Kang A Roo: Hop in !

Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry ?
Kang A Roo: A hoppercraft !

Harv E Roo: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy ?
Kang A Roo: Hoppalong Cassidy !

Harv E Roo: When is a car like a frog ?
Kang A Roo: When it's becing toad !

Harv E Roo: Why do frogs have webbed feet ?
Kang A Roo: To stamp out forest fires !

Harv E Roo: What do you say if you meet a toad ?
Kang A Roo: Wart's new !

Harv E Roo: Whats green and can jump a mile a minute ?
Kang A Roo: A frog with hiccups !

Harv E Roo: Why did the lizard go on a diet ?
Kang A Roo: It weighed too much for its scales !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 23 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Harv E Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Harv E Roo to Kang A. Roo

Madfish Willie's is the #3 & #4 & #10 Google search result for: another word for dumb ass!

Harv E Roo: What powerful reptile is found in the Sydney opera house ?
Kang A Roo: The Lizard of Oz !

Harv E Roo: What's the definition of a nervous breakdown ?
Kang A Roo: A chameleon on a tartan rug !

Harv E Roo: How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs ?
Kang A Roo: They sit eggsaminations !

Harv E Roo: What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls ?
Kang A Roo: Reptiles !

Harv E Roo: What do you call a rich frog ?
Kang A Roo: A golf blooded reptile !

Harv E Roo: What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common ?
Kang A Roo: Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth !

Harv E Roo: What kind of bull doesn't have horns ?
Kang A Roo: A bullfrog !

Harv E Roo: What jumps up and down in front of a car ?
Kang A Roo: Froglights !

Harv E Roo: Where do frogs keep their money ?
Kang A Roo: In a river bank !

Harv E Roo: What happened when a frog joined the cricket team ?
Kang A Roo: He bowled long hops !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 22 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Harv E Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Harv E Roo to Kang A. Roo

Madfish Willie's is the #3 & #4 & #10 Google search result for: another word for dumb ass!

Harv E Roo: Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?
Kang A Roo: A frog in a blender !

Harv E Roo: Whats yellow and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ?
Kang A Roo: A mouldy frog in a blender !

Harv E Roo: Why was the frog down in the mouth ?
Kang A Roo: He was un hoppy !

Harv E Roo: How do frogs die ?
Kang A Roo: They kermit suidide !

Harv E Roo: What's a frogs favourite flower ?
Kang A Roo: A croakus !

Harv E Roo: Whats a frogs favourite game ?
Kang A Roo: It's croak-et !

Harv E Roo: What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog ?
Kang A Roo: A croaker spaniel !

Harv E Roo: What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad ?
Kang A Roo: Star Warts !

Harv E Roo: What kind of shoes to frogs like ?
Kang A Roo: Open toad sandals !

Harv E Roo: What do you call the English Toad Prize giving cermony ?
Kang A Roo: The Brit Awarts !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 21 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo

Kang A Roo: Why doesn't Kermit the Frog like elephants ?
Harv E Roo: They always want to play leap frog with him !

Kang A Roo: Why is a frog luckier than a cat ?
Harv E Roo: Because a frog croaks all the time but a cat only gets to croak nine times !

Kang A Roo: What's a toad's favourite ballet ?
Harv E Roo: Swamp Lake !

Kang A Roo: What do toads drink ?
Harv E Roo: Croaka-cola !

Kang A Roo: What do frogs drink ?
Harv E Roo: Hot croako !

Kang A Roo: What's green a slimy and found at the North Pole ?
Harv E Roo: A lost frog !

Kang A Roo: Where do frogs keep their treasure ?
Harv E Roo: In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow !

Kang A Roo: What do you call a 100 year old frog ?
Harv E Roo: An old croak !

Kang A Roo: What do you get if cross a frog with some mist ?
Harv E Roo: Kermit the Fog !

Kang A Roo: What's a toads favourite sweet ?
Harv E Roo: Lollihops !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 20 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo

Kang A Roo: What do you call a frog spy ?
Harv E Roo: A croak and dagger agent !

Kang A Roo: What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair ?
Harv E Roo: Lily !

Kang A Roo: What do Scottish toads play ?
Harv E Roo: Hop-scotch !

Kang A Roo: How did the toad die ?
Harv E Roo: He simply croaked !

Kang A Roo: What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak ?
Harv E Roo: Morse toad !

Kang A Roo: Whats the world weakest animal ?
Harv E Roo: A toad, he croaks if you even touch him !

Kang A Roo: Whats white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions ?
Harv E Roo: A hot frog !

Kang A Roo: What happens if you eat a hot frog ?
Harv E Roo: You'll croak in no time !

Kang A Roo: Where do frogs leave their hats and coats ?
Harv E Roo: In the croakroom !

Kang A Roo: What's green and tough ?
Harv E Roo: A toad with a machine gun !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 19 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo

Kang A Roo: Where do sheep go for their holidays in winter?
Harv E Roo: The Baahaamaas.

Kang A Roo: Where do sheep go for their holidays in England?
Harv E Roo: Ramsgate.

Kang A Roo: Where do sheep shop?
Harv E Roo: Woolworth's.

Kang A Roo: Where do Southern sheep come from?
Harv E Roo: Ewell.

Kang A Roo: Who is the sheep's favourite singer?
Harv E Roo: Baabara Streisand.

Kang A Roo: Why did Bo Peep lose her sheep ?
Harv E Roo: She had a crook with her !

Kang A Roo: Why did the ram fall over the cliff ?
Harv E Roo: He didn't see the ewe turn !

Kang A Roo: Why did the sheep stay quiet all day?
Harv E Roo: He didn't believe in bleating between meals.

Kang A Roo: Why didn't the dozy farmer know how many sheep he had?
Harv E Roo: Whenever he tried to count them, he fell asleep!

Kang A Roo: Why do sheep like pubs?
Harv E Roo: Because they're full of baas.

Kang A Roo: Why don't sheep have much money?
Harv E Roo: Because they're always getting fleeced.

Kang A Roo: Why was the lamb told off for being rude ?
Harv E Roo: He would not say 'thank ewe' to his mum !

Kang A Roo: Why was the sheep arrested on the M1?
Harv E Roo: Because it did a ewe-turn.

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 16 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo

Kang A Roo: What is the sheep's favourite song?
Harv E Roo: I've got plenty of mutton.'

Kang A Roo: What keeps sheep warm at night?
Harv E Roo: Central bleating.

Kang A Roo: What lives under water and bleats at ships?
Harv E Roo: A ewe-boat

Kang A Roo: What sheep is strong enough to hold up the world?
Harv E Roo: Herc-ewe-les.

Kang A Roo: What side of a sheep has the most wool?
Harv E Roo: The outside.

Kang A Roo: Where are newborn lambs kept?
Harv E Roo: In an inc-ewe-bator.

Kang A Roo: Where do London sheep live?
Harv E Roo: Lambeth.

Kang A Roo: Where do Northern sheep come from?
Harv E Roo: Baarnard Castle.

Kang A Roo: Where do sheep get shorn ?
Harv E Roo: At the baa baas !

Kang A Roo: Where do sheep go for their holidays in summer?
Harv E Roo: Baali.

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 15 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo

Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a goat and a cow?
Harv E Roo: The Milky Baa Kid.

Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a hedgehog?
Harv E Roo: An animal that knits its own sweaters.

Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo?
Harv E Roo: A woolly jumper.

Kang A Roo: What else?
Harv E Roo: A jumper with pockets.

Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with an elephant?
Harv E Roo: Enough wool to knit a skyscraper.

Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with an octopus?
Harv E Roo: A sweater with eight sleeves!

Kang A Roo: What has fleece and big muscles?
Harv E Roo: Rambo.

Kang A Roo: What has fleece and fangs?
Harv E Roo: Drac-ewe-la.

Kang A Roo: What is the sheep's favourite musician?
Harv E Roo: Chris Baaber.

Kang A Roo: What is the sheep's favourite pop group?
Harv E Roo: The Pet Sheep Boys.

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 14 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» TreyGivens.com links with: New Roo Jokes!

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo

Kang A Roo: What do sheep like to listen to at discos?
Harv E Roo: Ewe 2 and Ewe B 40.

Kang A Roo: What do sheep wear for work?
Harv E Roo: Ewe-niforms.

Kang A Roo: What do you call a sheep in the rain?
Harv E Roo: A wet blanket.

Kang A Roo: What do you call a sheep who tells sheep jokes?
Harv E Roo: A ewe-morist

Kang A Roo: What do you call a sheep with no legs or head ?
Harv E Roo: A cloud !

Kang A Roo: What do you call sheep that live together ?
Harv E Roo: Pen friends !

Kang A Roo: What do you get if a sheep walks under a cloud ?
Harv E Roo: A sheep that's under the weather !

Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a lamb with a penguin?
Harv E Roo: A sheepskin dinner jacket.

Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a banana?
Harv E Roo: A baanaanaa!

Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a gnu?
Harv E Roo: A new ewe.

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 13 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo

Kang A Roo: Did you hear about the daft farmer who took up sheep farming?
Harv E Roo: He failed because he planted them too close together!

Kang A Roo: Did you hear about the accountant who counted sheep in bed?
Harv E Roo: He made a mistake in the first hour, and lay awake all night trying to figure it out!

Kang A Roo: 'Doctor, doctor, I can't sleep a wink.'
Harv E Roo: 'Have you tried counting sheep? '
Kang A Roo: 'Yes, I counted 842,511 - and then it was time to get up!'

Kang A Roo: 'Doctor, doctor, I've just swallowed a sheep!'
Harv E Roo: 'How do you feel? '
Kang A Roo: "Very baad!'

Kang A Roo: How do sheep get to sleep?
Harv E Roo: By counting people.

Kang A Roo: How do sheep keep warm in winter ?
Harv E Roo: Central bleating !

Kang A Roo: If dogs have fleas, what do sheep have?
Harv E Roo: Fleece.

Kang A Roo: What did one sheep say to the other?
Harv E Roo: I love ewe.

Kang A Roo: What did the well mannered sheep say to his friend at the field gate ?
Harv E Roo: Afer ewe !

Kang A Roo: What do sheep find there?
Harv E Roo: Baagains.

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 12 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo to Harv E Roo

Kang A Roo: What did the squirrel say to his girl-friend?
Harv E Roo: I'm nuts about you.

Kang A Roo: What did the girl squirrel answer back?
Harv E Roo: "You're nuts so bad yourself."

Kang A Roo: Doctor, doctor, I'm frightened of squirrels.
Harv E Roo: You must be nuts,

Kang A Roo: How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden ?
Harv E Roo: Hide the ball, it drives them nuts !

Kang A Roo: If you're crazy about chess, why should you keep away from squirrels?
Harv E Roo: Because squirrels eat chestnuts (chess nuts).

Kang A Roo: What animals use nutcrackers?
Harv E Roo: Toothless squirrels.

Kang A Roo: What do squirrels give each other on Valentine's Day?
Harv E Roo: Forget-me-nuts.

Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
Harv E Roo: An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.

Kang A Roo: What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
Harv E Roo: An animal that remembers where it hid its nuts.

Kang A Roo: What's the best way to catch a squirrel?
Harv E Roo: Climb a tree and act like a nut.

Kang A Roo: Where do squirrels go when they have a nervous breakdown?
Harv E Roo: To the nut-house.

Kang A Roo: Why do squirrels like to sit on telephone poles?
Harv E Roo: To stay away from the nuts on the ground!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 9 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a horse?
Second Kangaroo: Whinny The Pooh!

First Kangaroo: Did you hear about the argumentative skunk?
Second Kangaroo: He always liked to make a stink!

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon?
Second Kangaroo: A creature that stinks to high heaven!

First Kangaroo: What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial?
Second Kangaroo: Odour in court!

First Kangaroo: What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?
Second Kangaroo: Deja phew!

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
Second Kangaroo: A bird that stinks but doesn’t give a hoot!

First Kangaroo: What do you call a flying skunk?
A smellicopter!

First Kangaroo: What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson?
He stank to the bottom of the pool!

First Kangaroo: What did one skunk say to another?
Second Kangaroo: And so do you!

First Kangaroo: Why can't skunks keep secrets?
Second Kangaroo: Because someone is always getting wind of them!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 7 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» Ramblings of SilverBlue links with: Thursday's Edition of Link-Luv™

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: Why did the skunk buy four boxes of tissues?
Second Kangaroo: Because he had a stinking cold!

First Kangaroo: Two skunks were being chased by a bear. As the bear got closer, one of the skunks said “Whatever shall we do?”
Second Kangaroo: “Let us spray!” replied the other.

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a chicken and a skunk?
Second Kangaroo: A fowl smell!

First Kangaroo: Why was the skunk angry?
Second Kangaroo: He was incensed!

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a wasp?
Second Kangaroo: Something that stinks and stings!

First Kangaroo: How are skunks able to avoid danger?
Second Kangaroo: By using their instinks and common scents!

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a cartoon penguin?
Second Kangaroo: Pingu-Pong!

First Kangaroo: When should you feel sorry for a skunk?
Second Kangaroo: When its spray pump is out of order!

First Kangaroo: What's black and white and red all over?
Second Kangaroo: A skunk with sunburn!

First Kangaroo: Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan?
Second Kangaroo: He got cut off without a scent!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 7 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» TreyGivens.com links with: Is It A Southern Thing?

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: Did you hear the joke about the skunk?
Second Kangaroo: Never mind, it stinks!

First Kangaroo: How many skunks do you need to make a house really smelly?
Second Kangaroo: Just a phew!

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?
Second Kangaroo: A stinkasaurus!

First Kangaroo: How can you tell when a skunk is angry?
Second Kangaroo: It raises a stink!

First Kangaroo: How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk?
Second Kangaroo: A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant!

First Kangaroo: What's a skunk's favourite game in school?
Second Kangaroo: Show and smell!

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a boomerang?
Second Kangaroo: A smell that keeps coming back!

First Kangaroo: What did the forgetful skunk say when the wind changed direction?
Second Kangaroo: It’s all coming back to me now!

First Kangaroo: What did the baby skunk want to be when he grew up?
Second Kangaroo: A big stinker!

First Kangaroo: What's a skunk's philosophy of life?
Second Kangaroo: Eat, stink and be merry!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 6 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What do baby pythons play with ?
Second Kangaroo: Rattle snakes !

First Kangaroo: What kind of letters did the snake get from his admirers ?
Second Kangaroo: Fang letters !

First Kangaroo: What's long, green and goes hith ?
Second Kangaroo: A snake with a lisp !

First Kangaroo: "So glad to meet you" said the Hindu politely ?
Second Kangaroo: "Charmed I'm sure ", replied the snake !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if crossed a new born snake with a basketball ?
Second Kangaroo: A bouncing baby boa !

First Kangaroo: What snakes are found on cars ?
Second Kangaroo: Windscreen vipers !

First Kangaroo: Why did some snakes disobey Noah when he said "Go forth and multiply" ?
Second Kangaroo: They couldn't, they were adders !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 5 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» TreyGivens.com links with: Forwarded Email File
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: Madfish Kangaroo

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a gun dog with a telephone ?
Second Kangaroo: A golden receiver !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a Beatle and an Australian dog ?
Second Kangaroo: Dingo Starr !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a dog and a skunk ?
Second Kangaroo: Rid of the dog !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a computer and a Rottweiller ?
Second Kangaroo: A computer with a lot of bites !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a dog with a kangaroo?
Second Kangaroo: A dog that has somewhere to put its own lead !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a dog and a sheep ?
Second Kangaroo: A sheep that can round itself up !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a dog and a lion ?
Second Kangaroo: A terrified postman !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if cross two young dogs with a pair of headphones ?
Second Kangaroo: Hush puppies !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a dog with a frog ?
Second Kangaroo: A dog that can lick you from the other side of the road!

First Kangaroo: What would you get if you crossed a chicken with a dog?
Second Kangaroo: A hen that lays pooched eggs.

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 3 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What should you do if you find a snake sleeping in your bed ?
Second Kangaroo: Sleep in the wardrobe !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a snake and a hotdog ?
Second Kangaroo: A fangfurter !

First Kangaroo: What's a snakes second favourite dance?
Second Kangaroo: The mamba !

First Kangaroo: What did one snake say to another ?
Second Kangaroo: Hiss off !

First Kangaroo: Why did the two boa constrictors get married ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they had a crush on each other !

First Kangaroo: What's the difference between a headmaster and a poisonous snake ?
Second Kangaroo: You can make a pet out of a snake !

First Kangaroo: What kind of snake is useful on your windscreen ?
Second Kangaroo: A viper !

First Kangaroo: Why are snakes hard to fool ?
Second Kangaroo: They have no legs to pull !

First Kangaroo: What's a python's favourite pop group ?
Second Kangaroo: Squeeze !

First Kangaroo: What sort of perfume do snakes prefer?
Second Kangaroo: Poison by Christian Dior !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 2 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a snake and a lego set ?
Second Kangaroo: A boa constructor !

First Kangaroo: What's a snake's favourite food ?
Second Kangaroo: Hiss Cakes !

First Kangaroo: Why do babies like cobras ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they come with their own rattle !

First Kangaroo: Why wouldn't the snake go on the weighing maching ?
Second Kangaroo: Because he had his own scales !

First Kangaroo: What do snakeswrite at the bottom of their letters ?
Second Kangaroo: With Love and Hisses !

First Kangaroo: How can you tell if a snake is a baby ?
Second Kangaroo: It has a rattle !

First Kangaroo: What did the snake say when offered a piece of cheese ?
Second Kangaroo: Thanks, I'll just have a sliver !

First Kangaroo: What is another word for a python ?
Second Kangaroo: A mega-bite !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a snake and a pig ?
Second Kangaroo: A boar constrictor !

First Kangaroo: What's a snakes favourite TV program ?
Second Kangaroo: Monty Python!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on January 1 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What snakes are good at sums ?
Second Kangaroo: Adders !

First Kangaroo: Which hand would you use to pick up a dangerous snake ?
Second Kangaroo: Someone else's !

First Kangaroo: What do you do if you find a poisonous snake in your toilet ?
Second Kangaroo: Wait till he's finished !

First Kangaroo: What does a black mamba do in the toilet ?
Second Kangaroo: Tries to wash his hands !

First Kangaroo: What is a snakes favourite opera ?
Second Kangaroo: Wriggletto !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent ?
Second Kangaroo: A snake in the brass !

First Kangaroo: What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird ?
Second Kangaroo: A feather boa !

First Kangaroo: Have you heard about the slippery eel ?
Second Kangaroo: Didn't think so, you wouldn't be able to grasp it !

First Kangaroo: Why can't you trust snakes ?
Second Kangaroo: They speak with forked tongues !

First Kangaroo: What's a snakes favourite dance ?
Second Kangaroo: Snake, rattle & roll !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 31 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What did the mother snake say to her crying baby ?
Second Kangaroo: Stop crying and viper your nose !

First Kangaroo: What's the best thing about deadly snakes ?
Second Kangaroo: They've got poisonality !

First Kangaroo: Why did the python do national service ?
Second Kangaroo: He was coiled up !

First Kangaroo: What's a snakes favourite flower ?
Second Kangaroo: Coily-flowers !

First Kangaroo: What song to snakes like to sing ?
Second Kangaroo: Viva Aspana !

First Kangaroo: What happened when a deadly rattle snake bit a witch ?
Second Kangaroo: He died in agony !

First Kangaroo: Why did the viper, viper nose ?
Second Kangaroo: Because the adder, adder hankerchief !

First Kangaroo: What did the snake say when another asked him the time ?
Second Kangaroo: Don't asp me !

First Kangaroo: What do you give a sick snake ?
Second Kangaroo: Asp-rin !

First Kangaroo: What do you call a snake who works for the governement ?
Second Kangaroo: A civil serpent !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 30 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: Why did the viper want to become a python ?
Second Kangaroo: He got the coiling !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food ?
Second Kangaroo: Snakes and Larders !

First Kangaroo: What do you call a python with a great bedside manner ?
Second Kangaroo: A snake charmer !

First Kangaroo: What do most people do when they see a python ?
Second Kangaroo: They re-coil !

First Kangaroo: What subject are snakes good at school ?
Second Kangaroo: Hiss-tory !

First Kangaroo: What did the snake say to the cornered rat ?
Second Kangaroo: Hiss is the end of the line for you !

First Kangaroo: What do snakes have on their bath towels ?
Second Kangaroo: Hiss and Hers !

First Kangaroo: What do you call a snake that informs the police ?
Second Kangaroo: A grass snake !

First Kangaroo: What did the python say to the viper ?
Second Kangaroo: I've got a crush on you !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross two snakes with a magic spell ?
Second Kangaroo: Addercadabra and abradacobra !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 29 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb Ass Jokes

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: I'm so strong I could lift a reindeer with one hand.
Second Kangaroo: Yeah, but where are we going to find a one-handed reindeer?

First Kangaroo: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer's gone missing again, put a 'Missing' advert in the local paper!
Second Kangaroo: Don't be daft. Reindeer can't read!

First Kangaroo: What has antlers and loves cheese?
Second Kangaroo: Mickey Moose!

First Kangaroo: How would you get four reindeer in a car?
Second Kangaroo: Two in the front and two in the back!

First Kangaroo: And how do you get four polar bears in a car?
Second Kangaroo: Take the reindeer out first

First Kangaroo: Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach ?
Second Kangaroo: Because he didn't want to be recognised !

First Kangaroo: Which reindeer have the shortest legs ?
Second Kangaroo: The smallest ones !

First Kangaroo: Where do you find reindeer ?
Second Kangaroo: It depends on where you leave them !

First Kangaroo: What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball?
Second Kangaroo: They're both brown, except the snowball.

First Kangaroo: What do reindeer have that no other animals have ?
Second Kangaroo: Baby reindeer !

First Kangaroo: What reindeer can jump higher than a house?
Second Kangaroo: They all can! Houses can't jump!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 26 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: And as the reindeer say before they tell you jokes ....
Second Kangaroo: These jokes will sleigh you!

First Kangaroo: What do reindeer say before telling you a joke ?
Second Kangaroo: This one will sleigh you !

First Kangaroo: What game do reindeer play in their stalls?
Second Kangaroo: Stable-tennis!

First Kangaroo: Keep that reindeer out of the house! It's full of fleas!
Second Kangaroo: You'd better stay out of the house, Rudolph - it's full of fleas.

First Kangaroo: Why is a reindeer like a gossip ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they are both tail bearers !

First Kangaroo: Why do reindeer wear fur coats ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they would look silly in plastic macs !

First Kangaroo: How do you make a slow reindeer fast ?
Second Kangaroo: Don't feed it !

First Kangaroo: Why did the reindeer wear black boots ?
Second Kangaroo: Because his brown ones were all muddy !

First Kangaroo: Why are Father Christmas' reindeer like a cricket match?
Second Kangaroo: Because they're both stopped by the rein.

First Kangaroo: How long should a reindeer's legs be ?
Second Kangaroo: Just long enough to reach the ground !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 24 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: How does a poodle say hello in France?
Second Kangaroo: Bone-jour!

First Kangaroo: What does a French poodle say before each meal?
Second Kangaroo: Bone appetit!

First Kangaroo: What happened to the French poodle's new haircut when it rained?
Second Kangaroo: It got wet!

First Kangaroo: What dog rides a horse named Macaroni?
Second Kangaroo: Yankee poodle!

First Kangaroo: What dog loves to take bubble baths ?
Second Kangaroo: A shampoodle !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster ?
Second Kangaroo: Cockerpoodledoo !

First Kangaroo: What happens when it rains cats and dogs ?
Second Kangaroo: You can step in a poodle !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 23 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What has twelve legs and runs but can hardly be seen?
Second Kangaroo: A bulldog on a jog in the fog with its friends, the hog and the frog.

First Kangaroo: What do you call an injured dog leaving town for Madrid?
Second Kangaroo: A Great Dane with a cane on its way to a plane to get to Spain!

First Kangaroo: What do you call a dizzy dog at an amusement park?
Second Kangaroo: A bloodhound on the ground not making a sound after riding a fast merry-go-round!

First Kangaroo: What do you call a dog in a hurry that falls in a puddle on the way to the post office?
Second Kangaroo: An Irish setter that is a go-getter that got wetter while mailing a letter!

First Kangaroo: What do you call a dog that was shopping for pasta but stopped to draw, instead?
Second Kangaroo: A poodle who was looking to buy a noodle but decided to doodle.

First Kangaroo: What dog has an excellent memory for music?
Second Kangaroo: A whippet is a pet that will never forget how to play a duet on a clarinet!

First Kangaroo: What dog lives in a small house surrounded by holes in the ground?
Second Kangaroo: A mutt that lives in a hut near where people putt!

First Kangaroo: What talks a lot, has fourteen legs, and speeds through traffic?
Second Kangaroo: A blabbing Lab and a crab sharing a cab!

First Kangaroo: What dog is a friend to cozy insects?
Second Kangaroo: A pug giving a warm tug and a hug to a bug that's snug in a rug!

First Kangaroo: What is purple, blows a whistle, and sits in a high chair?
Second Kangaroo: A Saint Bernard working hard as a lifeguard wearing a leotard!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 22 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

Kang Blegs You! Folks we need some help here. The Ecosystem has us listed as a Slithering Reptile and we know for sure we are Marauding Marsupials. So go over to Abject Apathetic Procrastination and look at all my beautiful friends and send all your friends over. Then blogroll us so you can see us everyday!

~Kang A Roo~

First Kangaroo: How does a poodle say hello in France?
Second Kangaroo: Bone-jour!

First Kangaroo: What does a French poodle say before each meal?
Second Kangaroo: Bone appetit!

First Kangaroo: What happened to the French poodle's new haircut when it rained?
Second Kangaroo: It got wet!

First Kangaroo: What dog rides a horse named Macaroni?
Second Kangaroo: Yankee poodle!

First Kangaroo: What dog loves to take bubble baths ?
Second Kangaroo: A shampoodle !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle and a rooster ?
Second Kangaroo: Cockerpoodledoo !

First Kangaroo: What happens when it rains cats and dogs ?
Second Kangaroo: You can step in a poodle !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 12 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

Kang Blegs You! Folks we need some help here. The Ecosystem has us listed as a Slithering Reptile and we know for sure we are Marauding Marsupials. So go over to Abject Apathetic Procrastination and look at all my beautiful friends and send all your friends over. Then blogroll us so you can see us everyday!

~Kang A Roo~

First Kangaroo: What dog is a cousin to the Dalmatian?
Second Kangaroo: A spot-weiler!

First Kangaroo: Dad, I spotted a Dalmatian!
Second Kangaroo: No need to, it already has its own spots!

First Kangaroo: What do you call a boring dog?
Second Kangaroo: A dull-mation!

First Kangaroo: What is black and white and red all over?
Second Kangaroo: A Dalmatian with a bad sunburn.

First Kangaroo: What did the hungry Dalmatian say when he had a meal ?
Second Kangaroo: That hit the spots !

First Kangaroo: What kind of dog is a person's best friend?
Second Kangaroo: A palmatian!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 11 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

Kang Blegs You! Folks we need some help here. The Ecosystem has us listed as a Slithering Reptile and we know for sure we are Marauding Marsupials. So go over to Abject Apathetic Procrastination and look at all my beautiful friends and send all your friends over. Then blogroll us so you can see us everyday!

~Kang A Roo~

First Kangaroo: What did the elephant say when it saw the Chihuahuas coming down the road?
Second Kangaroo: Look out for the mice!

First Kangaroo: What did the tangerine say when it saw the Chihuahua?
Second Kangaroo: Nothing. Tangerines can't talk!

First Kangaroo: What do you get when you cross a Chihuahua with a brave giraffe?
Second Kangaroo: A Chihuahua that is not afraid to stick its neck out!

First Kangaroo: Why can't Chihuahuas run marathons?
Second Kangaroo: They're short of breath!

First Kangaroo: What is a favorite vacation spot for Chihuahuas?
Second Kangaroo: Boneos Aires, Argentina!

First Kangaroo: What is black and white and red all over?
Second Kangaroo: A Chihuahua in a tuxedo that tripped into a jar of salsa!

First Kangaroo: What kind of pants do you buy for your pet Chihuahua?
Second Kangaroo: Shorts!

First Kangaroo: What do you do when a Chihuahua sneezes?
Second Kangaroo: Get a small hankie!

First Kangaroo: Where do you take a Chihuahua that has fallen into a lake?
Second Kangaroo: To a weterinarian!

First Kangaroo: What is the best kind of dog to ask for directions?
Second Kangaroo: A Chihuahua, because it knows all the shortcuts!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 10 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

Kang Blegs You! Folks we need some help here. The Ecosystem has us listed as a Slithering Reptile and we know for sure we are Marauding Marsupials. So go over to Abject Apathetic Procrastination and look at all my beautiful friends and send all your friends over. Then blogroll us so you can see us everyday!

~Kang A Roo~

First Kangaroo: What was the most vicious and meanest dinosaur of them all?
Second Kangaroo: The Chihuahuasaurus Rex!

First Kangaroo: Alsation: How come you are always so well behaved when you go on a walk with your master?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua: It's the leash I can do!

First Kangaroo: How does a Chihuahua hide in the desert?
Second Kangaroo: It uses camel-flage!

First Kangaroo: How did the Chihuahua disappear on the road?
Second Kangaroo: It was using a hide-'n-go-seekle!

First Kangaroo: What do you say to a Chihuahua that is running away?
Second Kangaroo: Adios!

First Kangaroo: What do Chihuahuas have that no other dogs have?
Second Kangaroo: Baby Chihuahuas!

First Kangaroo: Why was the Chihuahua glad it wasn't an eagle?
Second Kangaroo: It can't fly!

First Kangaroo: What is the difference between a hippopotamus and a Chihuahua?
Second Kangaroo: About 2,200 pounds!

First Kangaroo: What do you call twelve Chihuahuas?
Second Kangaroo: A dozen!

First Kangaroo: Why do Chihuahuas have such short necks?
Second Kangaroo: Because their heads are so close to their bodies!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 9 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

Kang Blegs You! Folks we need some help here. The Ecosystem has us listed as a Slithering Reptile and we know for sure we are Marauding Marsupials. So go over to Abject Apathetic Procrastination and look at all my beautiful friends and send all your friends over. Then blogroll us so you can see us everyday!

~Kang A Roo~

First Kangaroo: Alsation: What is your favorite holiday?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua: Howloween!

First Kangaroo: Alsation: Why do you like to go on camping trips?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua: I like to "ruff it!

First Kangaroo: Why does a Chihuahua have four legs?
Second Kangaroo: So it can count past three!

First Kangaroo: Alsation: What did you do in art class today?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua: Panting on paper!

First Kangaroo: I just spotted a Chihuahua!
Second Kangaroo: That wasn't very nice, you shouldn't draw on dogs!

First Kangaroo: Why did the Chihuahua bark when it heard a song on the radio?
Second Kangaroo: It didn't know the words!

First Kangaroo: Why are Chihuahuas such good bedtime storytellers?
Second Kangaroo: They have short tales!

First Kangaroo: What does a Chihuahua call its mom and dad?
Second Kangaroo: Chimama and Chipapa!

First Kangaroo: Alsation: I'll see you shortly.
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua: Okay, but don't call me "Shortly!"

First Kangaroo: How do you spell "Chihuahua?"
Second Kangaroo: "C-h-i-w-o-w-a."
First Kangaroo: That's not even close!
Second Kangaroo: But you asked me how I spelled it!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 8 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

Folks we need some help here. The Ecosystem has us listed as a Slithering Reptile and we know for sure we are Marauding Marsupial. So go over to Abject Apathetic Procrastination and look at all my beautiful friends and send all your friends over. Then blogroll us so you can see us everyday!

~Kang A Roo~

First Kangaroo: What do you get when you cross a Chihuahua with an English sheepdog?
Second Kangaroo: Small wool sweaters!

First Kangaroo: What side of a Chihuahua has the most hair?
Second Kangaroo: The outside!

First Kangaroo: When do Chihuahuas smell?
Second Kangaroo: When they don't take a bath!

First Kangaroo: How do Chihuahuas smell?
Second Kangaroo: With their nose!

First Kangaroo: How do you take a Chihuahua's temperature?
Second Kangaroo: With a small thermometer!

First Kangaroo: What's the best way to measure a Chihuahua?
Second Kangaroo: With a ruler!

First Kangaroo: How do Chihuahuas eat so much?
Second Kangaroo: They make a lot go a little way!

First Kangaroo: Why did the Chihuahua ask the bloodhound to take it to a restaurant?
Second Kangaroo: Because the bloodhound just found a lot of scents!

First Kangaroo: How can you tell if a Chihuahua has been in the refrigerator?
Second Kangaroo: Paw prints in the butter!

First Kangaroo: How did your Chihuahua break its leg?
Second Kangaroo: I dropped some dog food on it by accident.
First Kangaroo: But that couldn't have broken its leg.
Second Kangaroo: The dog food was still in the can!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 6 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What position is the best for a Chihuahua to play in baseball?
Second Kangaroo: Shortstop!

First Kangaroo: How do you know which Chihuahua can ride a bike?
Second Kangaroo: It's the one wearing a helmet!

First Kangaroo: What kind of leash should you buy for a Chihuahua?
Second Kangaroo: A short one!

First Kangaroo: A Chihuahua was shopping in a mall when another shopper walked up to it and started talking.
Second Kangaroo: Didn't I see you on a TV commercial?
First Kangaroo: How am I supposed to know what you watch on TV?

First Kangaroo: Where did the Chihuahua sign its contract for its TV commercials?
Second Kangaroo: On the bottom!

First Kangaroo: Do Chihuahuas have horns?
Second Kangaroo: Many have violins but very few have horns!

First Kangaroo: Why should you never watch a video with a Chihuahua?
Second Kangaroo: It always plays with the "paws" button on the VCR.

First Kangaroo: How do you say "Chihuahua" in Spanish?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua!

First Kangaroo: How do you say "Chihuahua" in Italy?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua!

First Kangaroo: What is brown and gray, has eight legs, and is carrying a large trunk and a small trunk?
Second Kangaroo: A Chihuahua on vacation with an elephant.

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 5 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: Why is it hard for Chihuahuas to type on a keyboard?
Second Kangaroo: They're all paws.

First Kangaroo: How are you going to pay the Chihuahua who helped you to set up your computer?
Second Kangaroo: With dog diskettes!

First Kangaroo: Alsation: What kind of computer do you want to buy?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua: One with a small byte!

First Kangaroo: What kind of computers do chihuahuas like best?
Second Kangaroo: Lap-top!

First Kangaroo: What does a Chihuahua play basketball with?
Second Kangaroo: A tennis ball!

First Kangaroo: Why did the Chihuahua take the bus to the TV studio to make a commercial?
Second Kangaroo: It was too far to walk!

First Kangaroo: What does a Chihuahua wear to play basketball?
Second Kangaroo: Small basketball shoes!

First Kangaroo: Why couldn't the Chihuahua play basketball?
Second Kangaroo: Because its basketball shoes were in the wash and a tennis player needed the ball!

First Kangaroo: Alsation: Was your master playing catch with you?
Second Kangaroo: Chihuahua: No, I was playing throw with her!

First Kangaroo: What is a Chihuahua's favorite sport?
Second Kangaroo: Miniature golf!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 4 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» Ramblings of SilverBlue links with: Thursday Link-Luv™

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: Why do dinosaurs have wrinkles in their knees??
Second Kangaroo: They stayed in the swimming pool too long.

First Kangaroo: Why do dinosaurs climb trees?
Second Kangaroo: There's nothing else to climb in the jungle.

First Kangaroo: How can you tell a male dinosaur from a female dinosaur?
Second Kangaroo: Ask it a question. If he answers, it's a male; if she answers, it's female.

First Kangaroo: Why did the dinosaur fall out of a palm tree?
Second Kangaroo: A hippopotamus pushed him out.

First Kangaroo: Why do dinosaurs have flat feet?
Second Kangaroo: They don't wear sneakers.

First Kangaroo: How can you tell if a dinosaur is visiting your house?
Second Kangaroo: His tricycle will be parked outside.

First Kangaroo: Why did the dinosaur lie on his back in the water and stick his feet up?
Second Kangaroo: So you could tell he wasn't a bar of soap.

First Kangaroo: Why do dinosaurs wear glasses?
Second Kangaroo: To make sure they don't step on other dinosaurs.

First Kangaroo: What do you know when you see three dinosaurs walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?
Second Kangaroo: You need help. Whoever heard of three dinosaurs walking down the street wearing pink sweatshirts?

First Kangaroo: What's red on the outside and green on the inside?
Second Kangaroo: A dinosaur wearing red pajamas.

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 2 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What did the maggot say to his friend when he got stuck in an apple ?
Second Kangaroo: Worm your way out of that one !

First Kangaroo: Why didn't the two worms get on Noah's Ark in an apple ?
Second Kangaroo: Because everyone had to go on in pairs !

First Kangaroo: What is worse than finding a maggot in your apple ?
Second Kangaroo: Finding half an apple !

First Kangaroo: How can you tell which end of a worm is which ?
Second Kangaroo: Tickle it in the middle and see which end laughs !

First Kangaroo: How do you make a glow worm happy ?
Second Kangaroo: Cut off his tail, he'll be de-lighted !

First Kangaroo: What's a glow worms favourite song ?
Second Kangaroo: Wake me up before you glow glow !

First Kangaroo: Why was the glow worm unhappy ?
Second Kangaroo: Because her children weren't that bright !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a glow worm with some beer ?
Second Kangaroo: Light ale !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat ?
Second Kangaroo: A dirty kid !

First Kangaroo: What do worms leave round their baths ?
Second Kangaroo: The scum of the earth !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on December 1 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What happened to the glow worm who was squashed ?
Second Kangaroo: He was de-lighted !

First Kangaroo: What is the best advice to give to worm ?
Second Kangaroo: Sleep late !

First Kangaroo: What's the difference between a worm and an apple ?
Second Kangaroo: Have you ever tried worm pie ?!

First Kangaroo: What did the worm say to the other when he was late home ?
Second Kangaroo: Where in earth have you been !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant ?
Second Kangaroo: Very big worm holes in your garden !

First Kangaroo: What reads and lives in an apple ?
Second Kangaroo: A bookworm !

First Kangaroo: What makes a glow worm glow ?
Second Kangaroo: A light meal !

First Kangaroo: Why do worms taste like chewing gum ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they're wrigleys !

First Kangaroo: Why did the sparrow go to the library ?
Second Kangaroo: It was looking for bookworms !

First Kangaroo: What is life like for a wood worm ?
Second Kangaroo: Boring !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 29 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What did the maggot say to another ?
Second Kangaroo: What's a nice maggot like you doing in a joint like this !

First Kangaroo: What did the woodworm say to the chair ?
Second Kangaroo: It's been nice gnawing you !

First Kangaroo: What's yellow, wiggles and is dangerous ?
Second Kangaroo: A maggot with attitude !

First Kangaroo: How can you tell if you are looking at a police glow worm ?
Second Kangaroo: it has a blue light !

First Kangaroo: Why are glow worms good to carry in your bag ?
Second Kangaroo: They can lighten your load !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a glow worm with a python ?
Second Kangaroo: A 15 foot strip light that can strangle you to death !

First Kangaroo: What is a worm's favourite band ?
Second Kangaroo: Mud !

First Kangaroo: Who is the worm's Prime Minister ?
Second Kangaroo: Maggot Thatcher !

First Kangaroo: When should you stop for a glow worm ?
Second Kangaroo: When he has a red light !

First Kangaroo: What is the maggot army called ?
Second Kangaroo: The Apple Corps !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 28 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What is the difference between school dinners and a pile of slugs ?
Second Kangaroo: School dinners come on a plate !

First Kangaroo: What did the slug say as he slipped down the wall ?
Second Kangaroo: How slime flies !

First Kangaroo: How do you know your kitchen floor is dirty ?
Second Kangaroo: The slugs leave a trail on the floor that reads "clean me" !

First Kangaroo: What did the slug say to the other who had hit him and run off ?
Second Kangaroo: I'll get you next slime !

First Kangaroo: What was the snail doing on the highway ?
Second Kangaroo: About one mile a day !

First Kangaroo: What is the definition of a slug ?
Second Kangaroo: A snail with a housing problem !

First Kangaroo: How do snails get their shells so shiny ?
Second Kangaroo: They use snail varnish !

First Kangaroo: Why is the snail the strongest animal ?
Second Kangaroo: Because he carries a house on his back !

First Kangaroo: What do you do when two snails have a fight ?
Second Kangaroo: Leave them to slug it out !

First Kangaroo: Where do you find giant snails ?
Second Kangaroo: At the end of giants fingers !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 26 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What did the spider say when he broke his new web ?
Second Kangaroo: Darn it !

First Kangaroo: What happened when the chef found a daddy long legs in the salad ?
Second Kangaroo: It became a daddy short legs !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a tarantula with a rose ?
Second Kangaroo: I'm not sure, but I wouldn't try smelling it !

First Kangaroo: Why did the spider buy a car ?
Second Kangaroo: So he could take it out for a spin !

First Kangaroo: What does a spider do when he gets angry ?
Second Kangaroo: He goes up the wall !

First Kangaroo: Why are spiders good swimmers ?
Second Kangaroo: They have webbed feet !

First Kangaroo: What is red and dangerous ?
Second Kangaroo: Strawberry and tarantula jelly !

First Kangaroo: What did the spider say to the fly ?
Second Kangaroo: We're getting married do you want to come to the webbing ?

First Kangaroo: How do you spot a modern spider ?
Second Kangaroo: He doesn't have a web he had a website !

First Kangaroo: What are spiders webs good for ?
Second Kangaroo: Spiders !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 25 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What do you call a big irish spider ?
Second Kangaroo: Paddy long legs !

First Kangaroo: What is a spiders favourite TV show ?
Second Kangaroo: The newly web game !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ?
Second Kangaroo: I'm not sure, but if you see one walking across the ceiling
then run before it collapses !

First Kangaroo: What do you call a 100 spiders on a tire ?
Second Kangaroo: A spinning wheel !

First Kangaroo: What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses ?
Second Kangaroo: If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital !

First Kangaroo: What kind of doctors are like spiders ?
Second Kangaroo: Spin doctors !

First Kangaroo: Why are spiders like tops ?
Second Kangaroo: They are always spinning !

First Kangaroo: What has 8 legs and likes living in trees ?
Second Kangaroo: Four anti road protesters ?

First Kangaroo: What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late ?
Second Kangaroo: Your spinning me a yarn here !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 24 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect ?
Second Kangaroo: The Masked-quito !

First Kangaroo: What has antlers and sucks blood ?
Second Kangaroo: A moose-quito !

First Kangaroo: Why did the mosquito go to the dentist ?
Second Kangaroo: To improve his bite !

First Kangaroo: What is a mosquito's favourite sport ?
Second Kangaroo: Skin-diving !

First Kangaroo: How do you know if you have a tough mosquito ?
Second Kangaroo: You slap him and he slaps you back !

First Kangaroo: What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly ?
Second Kangaroo: Try sewing buttons on a mosquito !

First Kangaroo: What's the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito ?
Second Kangaroo: A mosquito drops off you when you die !

First Kangaroo: What is the most religious insect ?
Second Kangaroo: A mosque-ito !

First Kangaroo: What has 6 legs, bits and talks in code ?
Second Kangaroo: A morese-quito !

First Kangaroo: Why are mosquitos religious ?
Second Kangaroo: They prey on you !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 21 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» Tiger: Raggin' & Rantin' links with: There is no sex in the Champagne Room

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What is green, sooty and whistles when it rubs its back legs together ?
Second Kangaroo: Chimney Cricket !

First Kangaroo: What is a grasshopper ?
Second Kangaroo: An insect on a pogo stick !

First Kangaroo: What is green and can jump a mile in a minute ?
Second Kangaroo: A grasshopper with hiccups !

First Kangaroo: What do you call a grasshopper with no legs ?
Second Kangaroo: A grasshover !

First Kangaroo: Why is it better to be a grasshopper than a cricket ?
Second Kangaroo: Because grasshoppers can play cricket but crickets can't play grasshopper !

First Kangaroo: Why don't other bugs like earwigs ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they are always earwigging their conversations !

First Kangaroo: What kind of wig can hear ?
Second Kangaroo: An earwig !

First Kangaroo: What did the earwig say as it fell down the stairs ?
Second Kangaroo: Ear we go !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 19 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: How do you keep flies out of the kitchen ?
Second Kangaroo: Put a pile of manure in the living room !

First Kangaroo: What is the difference between a fly and a bird ?
Second Kangaroo: A bird can fly but a fly can't bird !

First Kangaroo: Why did the fly fly ?
Second Kangaroo: Because the spider spied 'er !

First Kangaroo: Why did the firefly keep stealing things ?
Second Kangaroo: He was light fingered !

First Kangaroo: What goes "snap, crackle and pop" ?
Second Kangaroo: A firefly with a short circuit !

First Kangaroo: Which fly makes films ?
Second Kangaroo: Stephen Speilbug !

First Kangaroo: Why were the flies playing football in saucer ?
Second Kangaroo: They where playing for the cup !

First Kangaroo: How do fireflies start a race ?
Second Kangaroo: Ready steady glow !

First Kangaroo: What did one firefly say to the other ?
Second Kangaroo: Got to glow now !

First Kangaroo: If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player ?
Second Kangaroo: The one in the sugar bowl !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 18 :: Permalink :: Comments (3) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» Ramblings of SilverBlue links with: Some bonus Link-Luv™
» BigStick.us links with: Link Fest '03

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What do you call a flea that lives in an idiots ear ?
Second Kangaroo: A space invader !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ?
Second Kangaroo: Bugs Bunny !

First Kangaroo: How do you start an insect race ?
Second Kangaroo: One, two, flea - go !

First Kangaroo: What is the difference between a flea and a wolf ?
Second Kangaroo: One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie !

First Kangaroo: What to you call a Russian flea ?
Second Kangaroo: A Moscow-ito !

First Kangaroo: How do you find where a flea has bitten you ?
Second Kangaroo: Start from scratch !

First Kangaroo: What is the difference between fleas and dogs ?
Second Kangaroo: Dogs can have fleas but fleas can't have dogs !

First Kangaroo: What did the clean dog say to the insect ?
Second Kangaroo: Long time no flea !

First Kangaroo: Who rode a dog and was a confederate general during the American Civil War ?
Second Kangaroo: Robert E Flea !

First Kangaroo: What did the idiot do to the flea in his ear ?
Second Kangaroo: Shot it !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 17 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet ?
Second Kangaroo: "Why are we running so fast ?" said one
Because it says "Tear along the dotted line"

First Kangaroo: What did one flea say to the other after a night out ?
Second Kangaroo: Shall we walk home or take a dog ?

First Kangaroo: Why did the stupid boy wear a turlte neck sweater ?
Second Kangaroo: To hide his flea collar !

First Kangaroo: What is a flea's favourite book ?
Second Kangaroo: The itch-hikers guide to the galaxy !

First Kangaroo: What is the most faithful insect ?
Second Kangaroo: A flea, once they find someone they like they stick to them !

First Kangaroo: What insect runs away from everything ?
Second Kangaroo: A flee !

First Kangaroo: What is the difference between a flea bitten dog and a bored visitor ?
Second Kangaroo: Ones going to itch and the other is itching to go !

First Kangaroo: What do you call a cheerful flea ?
Second Kangaroo: A hop-timist!

First Kangaroo: What did the romantic flea say ?
Second Kangaroo: I love you aw-flea !

First Kangaroo: How to fleas travel ?
Second Kangaroo: Itch hiking !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 14 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: Just so you'll know

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What do bees do if they want to use public transport ?
Second Kangaroo: Wait at a buzz stop !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a bee with a skunk ?
Second Kangaroo: An animal that stinks and stings !

First Kangaroo: What does a queen bee do when she burps ?
Second Kangaroo: Issues a royal pardon !

First Kangaroo: How does a queen bee get around her hive ?
Second Kangaroo: She's throne !

First Kangaroo: What's black, yellow and covered in blackberries ?
Second Kangaroo: A bramble bee !

First Kangaroo: What's more dangerous than being with a fool ?
Second Kangaroo: Fooling with a bee !

First Kangaroo: Why did the bee started talking poetry ?
Second Kangaroo: He was waxing lyrical !

First Kangaroo: What is a bee's favourite classical music composer ?
Second Kangaroo: Bee-thoven !

First Kangaroo: Who writes books for little bees ?
Second Kangaroo: Bee-trix Potter !

First Kangaroo: What did the bee say to the naughty bee ?
Second Kangaroo: Bee-hive yourself !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 12 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What goes hum-choo, hum choo?
Second Kangaroo: A bee with a cold !

First Kangaroo: What's a bee-line ?
Second Kangaroo: The shortest distance between two buzz-stops !

First Kangaroo: What do you call a bee who's had a spell put on him ?
Second Kangaroo: He's bee-witched !

First Kangaroo: Can bees fly in the rain ?
Second Kangaroo: Not without their little yellow jackets !

First Kangaroo: What buzzes, is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea ?
Second Kangaroo: A bee in a submarine !

First Kangaroo: Why do bees hum ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they've forgotten the words !

First Kangaroo: What kind of bees hum and drop things ?
Second Kangaroo: A fumble bee !

First Kangaroo: What did the bee say to the flower ?
Second Kangaroo: Hello honey !

First Kangaroo: What's a bees favourite flower ?
Second Kangaroo: A bee-gonias !

First Kangaroo: What did the confused bee say ?
Second Kangaroo: To bee or not to bee !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 12 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: I had to do a bit of labor

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What do you call a greedy ant ?
Second Kangaroo: An anteater !

First Kangaroo: What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes ?
Second Kangaroo: Antteneye !

First Kangaroo: What kind of ant is good at maths ?
Second Kangaroo: An accountant !

First Kangaroo: What medicine would you give an ill ant ?
Second Kangaroo: Antibiotics !

First Kangaroo: Why did the ant-elope ?
Second Kangaroo: Nobody gnu !

First Kangaroo: What is worse than ants in your pants ?
Second Kangaroo: A bat in your bra !

First Kangaroo: What kind of ant can you colour with ?
Second Kangaroo: A crayant !

First Kangaroo: What games to ants play with elephants ?
Second Kangaroo: Squash !

First Kangaroo: What do you call an ant who likes to be alone ?
Second Kangaroo: An independant !

First Kangaroo: What do you call an ant who can't play the piano ?
Second Kangaroo: Discordant !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 11 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What is even bigger than an elephant ?
Second Kangaroo: A giant !

First Kangaroo: Who was the most famous ant scientist ?
Second Kangaroo: Albert Antstein !

First Kangaroo: What kind of ants are very learned ?
Second Kangaroo: Pedants !

First Kangaroo: What do you call a smart ant ?
Second Kangaroo: Elegant !

First Kangaroo: What do you call an ant in space ?
Second Kangaroo: Cosmonants & Astronants !

First Kangaroo: Where do ants go to eat ?
Second Kangaroo: At a restaurant !

First Kangaroo: What do you call an ant from overseas ?
Second Kangaroo: Impartant

First Kangaroo: Where do ants go for their holidays ?
Second Kangaroo: Frants !

First Kangaroo: What do you call an ant who skips school ?
Second Kangaroo: A truant !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics ?
Second Kangaroo: All sorts of antics !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 10 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What goes 99-clonk, 99-clonk, 99-clonk?
Second Kangaroo: A centipede with a wooden leg !

First Kangaroo: Why was the centipede dropped from the insect football team ?
Second Kangaroo: He took too long to put his boots on !

First Kangaroo: What is worse than an alligator with toothache ?
Second Kangaroo: A centipede with athlete's foot !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a centipede and a parrot ?
Second Kangaroo: A walkie talkie !

First Kangaroo: What is worse than a giraffe with a sore throat ?
Second Kangaroo: A centipede with chilblains !

First Kangaroo: What has 50 legs but cant walk ?
Second Kangaroo: Half a centipede !

First Kangaroo: What do you call a guard with 100 legs ?
Second Kangaroo: A sentrypede !

First Kangaroo: Why was the centipede late ?
Second Kangaroo: Because he was playing "This little Piggy" with his baby brother !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a centipede and a chicken ?Second Kangaroo: Enough drumsticks to feed an army !

First Kangaroo: What did one centipede say to the other centipede ?
Second Kangaroo: You've got a lovely pair of legs, You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs,You've got a lovely pair of legs ....!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 8 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What pillar doesn't need holding up ?
Second Kangaroo: A caterpillar !

First Kangaroo: What does a cat go to sleep on ?
Second Kangaroo: A caterpillow !

First Kangaroo: What's green and dangerous ?
Second Kangaroo: A caterpillar with a machine gun !

First Kangaroo: What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day ?
Second Kangaroo: Turns over a new leaf !

First Kangaroo: What is the definition of a caterpillar ?
Second Kangaroo: A worm in a fur coat !

First Kangaroo: What has stripes and pulls a tractor ?
Second Kangaroo: A caterpillar tractor !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 7 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

Tiger Jokes

First Kangaroo: What is the fiercest flower in the garden ?
Second Kangaroo: The tiger lily !

First Kangaroo: If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped, What's a tiger ?
Second Kangaroo: A stri-ped !

First Kangaroo: What's striped and bouncy ?
Second Kangaroo: A tiger on a pogo stick !

First Kangaroo: What do tigers wear in bed ?
Second Kangaroo: Stripey pyjamas !

First Kangaroo: What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head ?
Second Kangaroo: A tiger moth !

First Kangaroo: What's the difference between a tiger and a lion ?
Second Kangaroo: A tiger has the mane part missing !

First Kangaroo: What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day ?
Second Kangaroo: After a week he was spotless !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep ?
Second Kangaroo: A stripey sweater !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a snowman ?
Second Kangaroo: Frostbite !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a tiger with a kangeroo ?
Second Kangaroo: A stripey jumper !

First Kangaroo: How are tigers like sergeants in the army ?
Second Kangaroo: They both wear stripes ! Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 5 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» Tiger: Raggin' & Rantin' links with: Yours truly: Butt end of lame jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What do insects learn at school ?
Second Kangaroo: Mothmatics !

First Kangaroo: How do you make a butterfly ?
Second Kangaroo: Flick it out of the butter dish with a knife !

First Kangaroo: What insect lives on nothing ?
Second Kangaroo: A moth, because it eats holes

First Kangaroo: What's pretty, delicate and carries a sub machine gun ?
Second Kangaroo: A killer butterfly !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth ?
Second Kangaroo: An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe !

First Kangaroo: How do stones stop moths eating your clothes ?
Second Kangaroo: Because rolling stones gather no moths !

First Kangaroo: What is a myth ?
Second Kangaroo: A female moth !

First Kangaroo: Why did the moth nibble a hole in the carpet ?
Second Kangaroo: He wanted to see the floor show !

First Kangaroo: What's the biggest moth in the world ?
Second Kangaroo: A mammoth !

First Kangaroo: Why was the moth so unpopular ?
Second Kangaroo: He kept picking holes in everything !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 4 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: It seems the joke is on me

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What is a baby bee ?
Second Kangaroo: A little humbug !

First Kangaroo: What is the bees favourite film ?
Second Kangaroo: The Sting !

First Kangaroo: Who is the bees favourite singer ?
Second Kangaroo: Sting !

First Kangaroo: Who is the bees favourite pop group ?
Second Kangaroo: The bee gees !

First Kangaroo: What did the bee to the other bee in summer ?
Second Kangaroo: Swarm here isn't it !

First Kangaroo: Where do bees keep their money ?
Second Kangaroo: In a honey box !

First Kangaroo: What TV station do bees watch ?
Second Kangaroo: Bee bee c one!

First Kangaroo: What's a bees favourite novel ?
Second Kangaroo: The Great Gats-bee !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a bee with a door bell?
Second Kangaroo: A hum dinger !

First Kangaroo: How many bees do you need in a bee choir ?
Second Kangaroo: A humdred !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 2 :: Permalink :: Comments (1) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: It seems the joke is on me

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What do you call an and with frogs legs ?
Second Kangaroo: An antphibian !

First Kangaroo: Who is the most famous French ant ?
Second Kangaroo: Napoleant !

First Kangaroo: What do you call a 100 year old ant ?
Second Kangaroo: An antique !

First Kangaroo: What do you call an ant who lives with your great uncle ?
Second Kangaroo: Your great-ant !

First Kangaroo: Why don't anteaters get sick ?
Second Kangaroo: Because they are full of antibodies!

First Kangaroo: What is the biggest ant in the world ?
Second Kangaroo: An elephant !

First Kangaroo: How many ants are needed to fill an apartment ?
Second Kangaroo: Ten ants !

First Kangaroo: What is smaller than an ant's dinner ?
Second Kangaroo: An ant's mouth !

First Kangaroo: Why did the elephant put his trunk across the path ?
Second Kangaroo: To trip up the ants !

How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics ?

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on November 1 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: It seems the joke is on me

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What do you call a big irish spider ?
Second Kangaroo: Paddy long legs !

First Kangaroo: What is a spiders favourite TV show ?
Second Kangaroo: The newly web game !

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a spider and an elephant ?
Second Kangaroo: I'm not sure, but if you see one walking across the ceiling then run before it collapses !

First Kangaroo: What do you call a 100 spiders on a tyre ?
Second Kangaroo: A spinning wheel !

First Kangaroo: What would happen if tarantulas were as big as horses ?
Second Kangaroo: If one bit you, you could ride it to hospital !

First Kangaroo: What kind of doctors are like spiders ?
Second Kangaroo: Spin doctors !

First Kangaroo: Why are spiders like tops ?
Second Kangaroo: They are always spinning !

First Kangaroo: What has 8 legs and likes living in trees ?
Second Kangaroo: Four anti road protesters ?

First Kangaroo: What did the wife spider say to her husband when he tried to explain why he was late ?
Second Kangaroo: Your spinning me a yarn here !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on October 31 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» angelweave links with: All Around Munuviana
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: It seems the joke is on me

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What do you call a frog spy ?

Second Kangaroo: A croak and dagger agent !

First Kangaroo: What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair ?
Second Kangaroo: Lily !

First Kangaroo: What do Scottish toads play ?
Second Kangaroo: Hop-scotch !

First Kangaroo: How did the toad die ?
Second Kangaroo: He simply croaked !

First Kangaroo: What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak ?
Second Kangaroo: Morse toad !

First Kangaroo: What's the world's weakest animal ?
Second Kangaroo: A toad, he croaks if you even touch him !

First Kangaroo: Whats white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions ?
Second Kangaroo: A hot frog !

First Kangaroo: What happens if you eat a hot frog ?
Second Kangaroo: You'll croak in no time !

First Kangaroo: Where do frogs leave their hats and coats ?
Second Kangaroo: In the croakroom !

First Kangaroo: What's green and tough ?
Second Kangaroo: A toad with a machine gun !

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on October 30 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: It seems the joke is on me

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo:What is a parrot?
Second Kangaroo:A wordy birdy!

First Kangaroo:Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting "Pieces of four"?
Second Kangaroo:Short John Silver!

First Kangaroo:Why wouldn't the parrot talk to the Frenchman?
Second Kangaroo:Because he only spoke pigeon English!

First Kangaroo:My parrot lays square eggs but can only say one word.
Second Kangaroo:What's that?
First Kangaroo:Ouch!

First Kangaroo:How do you know you are haunted by a parrot?
Second Kangaroo:He keeps saying "Oooooo's a pretty boy then?"

First Kangaroo:Teacher: Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage?
Second Kangaroo:Pupil: For a parrot to perch on, miss.

First Kangaroo:Where do the cleverest parrots live?
Second Kangaroo:In the brain tree forests!

First Kangaroo:What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot?
Second Kangaroo:An animal that's always telling you how busy it is!

First Kangaroo:What do you get if you cross a centipede with a parrot?
Second Kangaroo:A walkie-talkie.

First Kangaroo:Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Second Kangaroo:The parrots eat em all (Paracetamol)
Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on October 29 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What is a parrot?
Second Kangaroo: A wordy birdy!

First Kangaroo: Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting "Pieces of four"? Second Kangaroo: Short John Silver!

First Kangaroo: Why wouldn't the parrot talk to the Frenchman?
Second Kangaroo: Because he only spoke pigeon English!

First Kangaroo: My parrot lays square eggs but can only say one word.
Second Kangaroo: What's that?
First Kangaroo:Ouch!

First Kangaroo: How do you know you are haunted by a parrot?
Second Kangaroo: He keeps saying "Oooooo's a pretty boy then?"

First Kangaroo: Teacher: Why do we put a hyphen in a bird-cage?
Second Kangaroo: Pupil: For a parrot to perch on, miss.

First Kangaroo: Where do the cleverest parrots live?
Second Kangaroo: In the brain tree forests!

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a bee with a parrot?
Second Kangaroo: An animal that's always telling you how busy it is!

First Kangaroo: What do you get if you cross a centipede with a parrot?
Second Kangaroo: A walkie-talkie.

First Kangaroo: Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?
Second Kangaroo: The parrots eat em all (Paracetamol)

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on October 29 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: It seems the joke is on me

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: To get to the other side

First Kangaroo: Why did the rooster cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: To cockadoodle dooo something

First Kangaroo: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
Second Kangaroo: He heard the referee calling fowls

First Kangaroo: Why did the turkey cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: To prove he wasn't chicken

First Kangaroo: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again ?
Second Kangaroo: Because he was a dirty double-crosser

First Kangaroo: Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: Because he didn't have enough guts

First Kangaroo: Why did the chicken cross the playground ?
Second Kangaroo: To get to the other slide

First Kangaroo: Why did the dinosaur cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: Because chickens hadn't evolved yet

First Kangaroo: Why did the turtle cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: To get to the shell station

First Kangaroo: Why did the horse cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: Because the chicken needed a day off.
Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on October 28 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

Jokes by Kang A. Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: Why did the chicken cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: To get to the other side

First Kangaroo: Why did the rooster cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: To cockadoodle dooo something

First Kangaroo: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court ?
Second Kangaroo: He heard the referee calling fowls

First Kangaroo: Why did the turkey cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: To prove he wasn't chicken

First Kangaroo: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again ?
Second Kangaroo: Because he was a dirty double-crosser

First Kangaroo: Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: Because he didn't have enough guts

First Kangaroo: Why did the chicken cross the playground ?
Second Kangaroo: To get to the other slide

First Kangaroo: Why did the dinosaur cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: Because chickens hadn't evolved yet

First Kangaroo: Why did the turtle cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: To get to the shell station

First Kangaroo: Why did the horse cross the road ?
Second Kangaroo: Because the chicken needed a day off.

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on October 28 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: It seems the joke is on me

Jokes by Kang A. Roo

Dumb-Ass Jokes told by Kang A. Roo

First Kangaroo: What has feathers and writes?
Second Kangaroo: A ballpoint hen.

First Kangaroo: Which is the bossiest ant?
Second Kangaroo: Tyrant!

First Kangaroo: What do moose do at a concert?
Second Kangaroo: Make moosic.

First Kangaroo: What do you call it when giraffes moving one way get mixed up with giraffes moving another way?
Second Kangaroo: A giraffic jam.

First Kangaroo: If you were surrounded by 30 lions, 25 elephants and 10 hippos, how would you get away from them?
Second Kangaroo: Step off the merry-go-round.

First Kangaroo: Which ant is an army officer?
Second Kangaroo: Sergeant!

First Kangaroo: What do monkeys eat for dessert?
Second Kangaroo: Chocolate chimp cookies.

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on October 27 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes
» Abject Apathetic Procrastination links with: It seems the joke is on me

Dumb Ass Jokes

You how you go into a bar before the crowd gets there, and your sittin up at the bar, pullin your pud with no one to talk to? So, you ask the bartender if he knows any good jokes.

Well, me and my buddy GoatHead used to tell these absolutely, positively, horrible one-liner jokes. They were soooo bad that no one ever laughed at the jokes, they were always laughing at us laughing at how stupid the jokes were. I'm cracking myself up just thinking about it! [sittin here, laughing my ass off...] I mean, you should have seen people's faces - they were like "What the fuck?" This would go on and on until they either couldn't stand to hear another joke, or we couldn't stand up to tell another one. Then, we just waited for the next sucker to pull up a barstool and ask for funnies.

Funny to me.

Here is this week's edition of really Dumbass Bar Jokes™. Enjoy!

Q What did the soap give to his fiancé?
A A bathtub ring

Q What do you call soap on a trapeze?
A Soap on a rope

Q Why did the comedian bring soap to his show?
A He was trying to clean up his act

Q Why did the burglar have soap in his pocket?
A He wanted to make a clean getaway

Now, I can't give you all the pretzels at one time, ya know. Tune in next week - Same Bat Time, Same Bat Channel!

Cheers!

Bullshit so far »

» by Madfish Willie on October 5 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Dumb Ass Jokes

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