Tales From The Champagne Room
It's Sunday and time for another Madfish Willie's edition of Tales From The Champagne Room!
[Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room]
The title for my series is from an HBO special with Chris Rock. Check it out!
Madfish Willie's, the #1 Yahoo search for The Champagne Room!
As you are Wrestling Your John Thomas:
The Bloggers that e-mailed their Tales From The Champagne Room links to me get posted "above the fold" with gratuitous linkage in their post description. The others that I gleaned from my browsing this week will be in the extended section. So, without further dealy....
Today we start off with that smuttiest of all not X rated blogs, Harvey Pervey from Bad Money. Pervey starts off with a little kiss & tell about Susie's tired jaw, then he tries to fix Susie's Reddi-Wip shortage. Next The Perv tells us of Evil Glenn's adventures in beastiality. That dumbshit Harv Perv can't tell the difference between a web
browser & a blowjob.
Next Dan K O'Leary of Pragmatic Conservatism gives us 50 Ways to Dump Your Lover. He says: "This is a little vulgar, but asking for a midget 3
way, or taking polaroids of you banging her sister are great ways be get single." Make sure to read the comments of his fucking cry-baby PC readers... unbelievable. And check out his hot babe!
"Better safe than sorry," Harvey Pervey always says. Here's some of his raunchy crap: Here's a riddle for you - what's the difference between a government lawyer and a whore? I discovered a new sexual position. The nastiness of Glenn Reynolds's bedroom. Poetry for Heather's ass - now that's poetry even I would read! Lesbian yoga (what the hell would he know about that?) and where did Trixie, the Times Square Wonder-Hooker get her training?
That's all for the mail in entries this week. The rest of the work I did and you'll have to click through to the expanded extry to read them.
Last Call »
Lisa from Just A Girl In The World talks about having breast REDUCTION surgery! No, not that! Go look at the hammers on that babe! Here at Madfish Willie's, we entertain absolutely NO DICSUSSION on reduction surgery. NONE!
Then, she has the gall to refer her Penis Enlargement comment spammers to Madfish Willie? My penis will fit perfectly between her Large American Breasts and will need no extension or enlargement at that time, although she will be in need of some spoo goggles!
Then, she talks about Geoffrey's Package! What a slut! I think I love her.
Trey Givens from Trey Givens.com tells us about a Ho who had twins conceived on the same night by different men?
Eric at Straight White Guy has a fourplex for us: Beer Wench, Kissing Schoolgirls, the Great Ohio Transvestite Chase, and Time To Get Dirty. I have concluded that Eric is just a jack-off idiot!
Speaking of jack-off idiots... Darren at Colorado Conservative has a post about some fuckhead who called the same girl 827 times in one month!
What is Susie doing in Evil Glenn's bedroom anyway?
Gennie has an Orgasm. shit... I don't read her nearly enough... I'll have to start making this a regular stop, but only if I don't have to Bend Over And Take It Like A Man.
Key from Key Issues has Lust Quotient. It's about blowjobs!
GEBIV at There's One, Only gives new meaning to the term Hot Flash.
Tuning Spork at Blather Review wonders if Life Is But a Dream? That bitch!
Susie Q at Practical Penumbra has a thing for Mr. Tiny Thong Bikini Wearer
Natalie at Pickle Juice says you will be caught in flagrante delicto and tells us about The Camel Toe Song.
Bible Sex Stories: David and Jonathan Undress
« Cut me off!
What they said »
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by
Madfish Willie on January 18
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Champagne Room
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TreyGivens.com links with:
David's Back! And other Bloggy Notices
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DramaQueen links with:
ok, so you want to put what where...?
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Wizbang links with:
Weekend Wrapup
Tales From The Champagne Room
Don't forget to send your bestest dirtiest nastiest suggestivest posts to Madfish Willie for his "send me your posts" LinkLoveFest!
Tales From The Champagne Room!
[Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room!]
Read through these previous posts of The Champagne Room to get an idea of what I'm looking for.
To be linked in The Champagne Room post just e-mail the link(s) to your post(s) by Saturday 12:00 noon and I'll include you in the weekly LinkLoveFest on Sunday. If you don't make it in time for this week's festivities, I'll put up front for next week's party!
Thanks to everyone who have sent me links in the past and I'll be looking forward to more of your Tales From The Champagne Room!
What they said »
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by
Madfish Willie on January 3
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Champagne Room
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Argghhh!!! The Home of one of Jonah's Military Guys© links with:
Let us not forget...
Tales From The Champagne Room
D'oh! No Tales From The Champagne Room this week due to lack of a sufficient quantity of material to do a decent roundup. I guess everyone was busy spanking the monkey to write about spanking the monkey!
I guess that just leaves a great big posting for next edition! Until then....
What they said »
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by
Madfish Willie on December 28
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Champagne Room
Tales From The Champagne Room
It's Sunday and time for another Madfish Willie's edition of Tales From The Champagne Room!
[Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room]
The title for my series is from an HBO special with Chris Rock. Check it out!
Madfish Willie's, the #1 Yahoo search for The Champagne Room!
As we are Booting up the dick fish into the gene pool:
The Bloggers that e-mailed their Tales From The Champagne Room links to me get posted "above the fold" with gratuitous linkage in their post description. The others that I gleaned from my browsing this week will be in the extended section. So, without further dealy....
My friend Margi from As I See It.. tells us where to find our Nude Friends. While you are over there, check out Merpy Chriskwanzukkah - it's not nasty... just funny!
It looks like little Susie Q from Practical Penumbra has been hanging out with Harvey Pervey too long. Now she's sending me picture of guys out of the shower clad in only their underwear!
Harvey Pervey was late last week so he's madeup by sending in a whole shitload of linked innuendo and nastiness. I wonder if his site should have one of those rating thingys on it to warn the unsuspecting? Anyway, he starts off... looking for Susie... gargle the Holy Water, before Jessica sticks her ass in it... bony chicks are out, we want a full figured gal... love notes (aka pimping his wife)... whipping cream on Susie to cheer her up... hM's bra size... the breasts of Mt Rushmore... spank the monkey... dia-a-slut... kinky Alliance B&D... Harvey's Long Blogroll... Susie like's em young... obsessing over sex with Evil Glenn... Man, this guy needs to get some pussy pretty fast or he's going to blow up!
That's all for the mail in entries this week. The rest of the work I did and you'll have to click through to the expanded extry to read them.
Last Call »
What they said »
»
by
Madfish Willie on December 21
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Comments (1)
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Champagne Room
Tales From The Champagne Room
It's Sunday and time for another Madfish Willie's edition of Tales From The Champagne Room!
[Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room]
I got the title for my series from an HBO special with Chris Rock. Check it out!
Madfish Willie's, the #1 Yahoo search for The Champagne Room!
As we are Dancing with the pink torpedo:
The Bloggers that e-mailed their Tales From The Champagne Room links to me get posted "above the fold" with gratuitous linkage in their post description. The others that I gleaned from my browsing this week will be in the extended section. So, without further dealy....
Our bonnie Heather from Angleweave sends us The Grinning Masturbator. Wipe that smile off your face!
Helen from DramaQueen from has some Hot Pussy.
Helen, hottest babe in the blogosphere, from Everyday Stranger wants her Shake To Go, Please!
Susie from Practical Penumbra send us Alice Interviews My Penis About the Economy from Bloviating Inanities.
Trey Givens from TreyGivens.com wishes us a Very Merry Adult Christmas.
Eric from Straight White Guy Beds a Virgin!
That's all for the mail in entries this week. The rest of the work I did and you'll have to click through to the expanded extry to read them.
Last Call »
Bible Sex Stories: Abraham Visits The Maid.
Graumagus from Frizzen Sparks regals us with Men In Kilts
Robert from Xset has found the oldest penis in the world!
DaGoddess tells us about the new Penis Patch.
She follows that with a story about her crooked nipples?
Anna at Primal Purge asks Do Your Decorations Have That Not-So-Fresh Feeling?
From Heather again: Busty Redheaded Bunny Pictures.
Trey Givens has a pic about kittens and masturbastion. Go see it!
What would a Tales From The Champagne Room! be without Pervey's sick twisted mind?
And I'll leave you with this gem from Mike the Marine:
The World's Greatest Break-Up Letter
Dear Terri:
I know the counselor said we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I'd never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking.
Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride's cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.
It's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says... "There's no one like you, Terri." I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close.
Two weeks ago, I met this girl at the Rainbow Room and brought her home with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, Terri, maybe 19, with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits you wouldn't believe and an ass like a tortoise shell. Every man's dream, right?
But as I sat on the couch being blown by this coed, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so surface. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes. But you see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Terri? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.
Later, after I'd tossed her about a quart of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some niggling feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because you weren't there, Terri, to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you, baby. Jesus, Terri, I'm just going crazy without you.
And everything I do just reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at Mt. Sinai Baptist Church? Well, she drops by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later, but that's not the real story.
Anyway, we have a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know we're fucking in our old bedroom. And this broad's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, you know like a real woman does when she's not hung up about God and her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity.
So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves. And it's totally hot, but it makes me sad too. 'Cause I can't help thinking, "Why didn't Terri ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex aid." (Some of this I thought about later.) You know what I mean? What happened to our spontaneity? You get so caught up in the routine of a marriage and you just lose sight of each other. And then you lose yourself. That's the saddest part of all for me. But I keep thinking we can get it back. I know we can, because I only want this stuff with you.
Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Shannon's just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders. She's been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's given me lots of good counsel about you and about women in general. (She's pulling for us to get back together, Terri. She really is.)
So we're drinking in the hot tub and talking about happier times. Here's this hot girl with the same DNA as you (although, let's face it, she got an extra helping of the sexy gene) and all I can do is think of how much she looks like you when you were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Shannon's really into the whole anal thing and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside the steaming hot Dutch oven of your sister's cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It's true, baby. In your heart you know it. Don't you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances and start fresh? I think we can. I keep thinking that I think if you'd just try it, I wouldn't have to pressure you so much.
Because who needs all that bitterness, Terri? It just tears us apart. And I can't be apart from you. Because I love you.
« Cut me off!
What they said »
Whoever was on-line tonight on 12.13.2003 at 7:36pm from af.mil and you linked over here from my old blogspot site, http://madfishwillies.blogspot.com/, according to my sitemeter statistic report you were my 10,000 viewer.
I guess this is some type of milestone, as I've seen other sites mention it. So, I thought maybe I should recognize it as well.
Thank you very much for coming over to the joint for a few jokes and some cold beers! And thanks to both my other readers for coming over 5,000 times a piece! Your eyeballs must be seared out by now.
posted by
The Bartender at December 14, 2003 07:59 PM
trust a fucking ZOOMIE to steal my seat at the bar..goddamn WINGNUTS...anyway, thanks for the link, bartender..I'll have the usual..
posted by
Eric at December 14, 2003 09:03 PM
*waves* thanks for having me, Bartender :). I think you got the URL to 'Hot Pussy' just a little wrong though! http://www.dfunkd.com/dramaqueen/archives/2003_12.html#000349
posted by
Helen (goldie) at December 14, 2003 09:43 PM
That break up letter kicked a clown's ass. I just loved it. Bravo to the best bartender in the world! -Helen (the original Helen!)
posted by
Helen at December 15, 2003 02:26 AM
Ok, it's Tuesday, and there's nothing new. I've never known the Bartender to shut his fucking yap for more than 24 hours before, and I'm getting worried....
...actually, I'm just going to take advantage of the situation
[hopping behind bar]
FREE TOP-SHELF DRINKS FOR EVERYONE!
posted by
Harvey at December 16, 2003 10:23 AM
Ok, top shelf's empty...
... Oh look. Jello shots in the fridge. Belly up to the bar, folks.
posted by
Harvey at December 18, 2003 12:19 PM
mmmm! Jello shots!! Save me all the lime and cherry!!!
[Where are you, Barkeep????? We're bankrupting you here!]
posted by
Susie at December 18, 2003 02:47 PM
Isn't there a Guinness keg back here somewhere? Ahhhhh.... THEEERRRREE it is. Come on Harv, let's tap that sucker and have some of the dark stuff before the Bartender gets back.
He better return with some tale of how he was kidnapped and placed in a dungeon by Evil Glenn. There's no other excuse for him being gone this long!
posted by
Mike the Marine at December 18, 2003 10:25 PM
Here's your glass O'Guinness... Once the keg is finished I'm thinking we start checking the jails in Tijuana.
Or the whorehouses...
posted by
Harvey at December 19, 2003 10:55 AM
Hey!!1 You guys are on double secret probation to ba barred for that. I saw every bit of that and it's coming out of your bar tab gaddammit! Shit, I can't turn around for a second.
<mumbling>Fucking no count, cheap winos stealing all my shit...</mumbling>
posted by
The Bartender at December 19, 2003 09:12 PM
I'm a little behind on my reading and now, after reading the breakup letter, I'm in no condition to read anything else for a while. High five for that post.
posted by
physics geek at December 23, 2003 01:23 PM
« Tell em to shut up!
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by
Madfish Willie on December 14
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Champagne Room
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Practical Penumbra links with:
Kvetching up
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Blackfive - The Paratrooper of Love links with:
Monday Menagerie
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DramaQueen links with:
champagne anyone?
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www [dot] margilowry [dot] com links with:
Mood music
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Ramblings of SilverBlue links with:
Bring on the Link-Luv™
Tales From The Champagne Room
It's Sunday and time for another Madfish Willie's edition of Tales From The Champagne Room!
[Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room]
I got the title for my series from an HBO special with Chris Rock. Check it out!
Madfish Willie's, the #1 Yahoo search for The Champagne Room!
As we are Shaking coconuts from the knob:
The Bloggers that e-mailed their Tales From The Champagne Room links to me get posted "above the fold" with gratuitous linkage in their post description. The others that I gleaned from my browsing this week will be in the extended section. So, without further dealy....
Susie at Practical Penumbra has the quintessential picture of a Madfish Willie's Corner of the Bar Babe! Nice!!
Eric at Straight White Guy send us a picture of a nice rack! He's kinda a sick-o.
Mr Green at Mr Green sends us this endorsement by our bonnie Heather.
That FREAK from Bad Money sends us these beauties. First, it's bug love. Then he tries to lend Susie a helping hand. Next, he wonders what it takes to make Dana, America's #1 Pin Up Girl happy. After that, he tells us he likes rough sex. This guy is a fucking perve. He follows these with Boobie Pride, he proposititons Susie and Dana, he says I Want This Woman!, has a Flesh Fantasy, and finally peters out after giving the girls some support! He's a veritable machine, I tells ya!
That's all for the mail in entries this week. The rest of the work I did and you'll have to click through to the expanded extry to read them.
Last Call »
What they said »
Ack - I wrote it for you, and I forgot to send it to you. Silly me.
hln
posted by
hln at December 7, 2003 08:25 AM
Nice round up, Bartender
posted by
Blackfive at December 7, 2003 08:44 AM
Bartender, having checked Helen's last pic, I'm thinking there might be sex in the Champagne Room after all.
posted by
Harvey at December 7, 2003 05:27 PM
You know, I read this yesterday morning after you put it up--you don't have to ping me six times a day to get my attention!
posted by
Susie at December 8, 2003 12:40 PM
« Tell em to shut up!
»
by
Madfish Willie on December 7
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Comments (4)
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Champagne Room
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drowning at 2 feet sea level links with:
Round-up
Tales From The Champagne Room
Don't forget to send you bestest dirtiest nastiest suggestivest posts to Madfish Willie for his "send me your posts" LinkLoveFest!
Tales From The Champagne Room!
[Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room!]
Read through these previous posts of The Champagne Room to get an idea of what I'm looking for.
To be linked in The Champagne Room post just e-mail the link(s) to your post(s) by Saturday 12:00 noon and I'll include you in the weekly LinkLoveFest on Sunday.
Thanks to everyone who have sent me links in the past and I'll be looking forward to more of your Tales From The Champagne Room!
What they said »
I love the buttons!!! Unfortunately,they don't show up with Mozilla...I don't think there is anything you can do, though, because they don't show up on the MT posting screen either (Pixy didn't even know they were there til I made him look with IE!!!) So it's a Mozilla quirk....
posted by
Susie at December 7, 2003 12:31 AM
Mozilla is just fucking great isn't it? Damn Mozilla Monsters!1!!
posted by
The Bartender at December 7, 2003 12:40 AM
Just kidding, but it seems I have found a chink in their armor at last. Mwahaha!!1!
posted by
The Bartender at December 7, 2003 12:42 AM
Nature is not anthropomorphic.
posted by
Sciortino Paul
at January 25, 2004 05:49 PM
« Tell em to shut up!
»
by
Madfish Willie on December 6
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Comments (4)
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Champagne Room
Tales From The Champagne Room
It's Sunday and time for another Madfish Willie's edition of Tales From The Champagne Room!
[Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room]
I found it!: I got the title for my series from an HBO special with Chris Rock. Check it out!
As we are Shaking coconuts from the knob:
The Bloggers that e-mailed their Tales From The Champagne Room links to me. They get posted "above the fold" with gratuitous linkage in their post description. The others that I gleaned from my browsing this week will be in the extended section.
Sir John the Merciless of Castle Argghhh!!!'s hawk gets chased off by the cocks when he swoops in to make a killing on the chicks!
Mad Dog Bad Money Harvey just was in the gutter all week long! First it was Heather Puts Out. Then he discovers that his perverted mind has been confirmed. Next, he tries to get Susie oiled up at the Bonfire, is grateful for braless blogerettes, finds The Best Reason To Wear Lingerie, makes the Flinstones bed-rock, exposes Beth, votes to Free The Boobies!, and gives us some Romantic Advice. Finally, he finishes up with this jewel about muffin buffin [don't miss this one!].
Thanks to Harvey and Sir John for sending me their posts. The rest of the Tales From The Champagne Room are posts that I gleaned while browsing around this week.
Last Call »
What they said »
Barkeep, you're a filthy, disgusting pervert.
That, and the Champagne Room entry wasn't long enough (although I hear from the ladies that length is frequently an issue with you).
posted by
Harvey at November 30, 2003 08:12 AM
Harvey, I watched a movie about you the other night... Hedwig and the Angry Inch
posted by
The Bartender at December 1, 2003 12:41 PM
« Tell em to shut up!
»
by
Madfish Willie on November 30
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Comments (2)
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Champagne Room
»
Practical Penumbra links with:
Ping Tsunamette
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angelweave links with:
The Grinning Masturbator
Tales From The Champagne Room
Madfish Willie's has started a "send me your posts" LinkLoveFest!
Tales From The Champagne Room!
[Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room!]
Read through these previous posts of
The Champagne Room to get an idea of what I'm looking for.
To be linked in The Champagne Room post just e-mail the link(s) to your post(s) by Saturday 12:00 noon and I'll include you in the weekly LinkLoveFest on Sunday.
Thanks to everyone who have sent me links in the past and I'll be looking forward to more of your Tales From The Champagne Room!
What they said »
Keep up the good work, Bartender..we all love your link-love-fests....
posted by
Eric at November 16, 2003 08:12 PM
I heard the song that you got the "There's no sex in the Champagne Room" line from. Hilarious!
Just because she dances the go-go...it don't make her a ho, no...
posted by
Helen at November 17, 2003 02:59 AM
Actually, I got it from a Chris Rock HBO thingy. I caught the show after it started, but I bet he said "There is no sex in The Champagne Room" at least twenty times during the show. The song angle sounds interesting though. What was the name of it?
posted by
The Bartender at November 17, 2003 08:33 AM
By the way, did you mention this to Matt O'Blackfive? He's the official Alliance HQ link-fest pimper. You should drop him a line
posted by
Harvey at November 17, 2003 09:25 AM
God, I am not sure-it's a reggae/rap type song, which is a bit funny.
posted by
Helen at November 17, 2003 09:44 AM
Well, shoot. I missed the link deadline! That so bites, since I used to participate in an interactive erotic blog. And I was going to send you the link. Darn....
posted by
mamamontezz at November 22, 2003 06:34 PM
Aargh--I'm trying to Trackback on your site and it's not working! But I promise I've put your notice on my site...!
--TwoDragons
posted by
Denita TwoDragons at November 23, 2003 01:32 PM
Waitaminnit--I got the notice just now, on SUNDAY, and thought it was for this coming Saturday. Did I get a delayed mail? Or was it really for this coming Saturday...?
--TwoDragons
posted by
Denita TwoDragons at November 23, 2003 01:34 PM
It's every week, so send in yourpost any time and it will go on that Sunday's post! Thanks!
posted by
The Bartender at November 23, 2003 02:20 PM
I missed your deadline, too. I have two in the hopper for you. Anecdotes no less.
hln
posted by
hln at November 24, 2003 09:31 PM
Barkeep, I'm having trouble with your permalinks. I click on it and it just takes me to the top of the blog. You got a broken tag somewhere, or am I just inept?
posted by
Harvey at November 24, 2003 10:35 PM
Well, crap. I so apologize for all those trackbacks... :(
I know you don't hold grudges, though...
posted by
pam at November 29, 2003 12:56 PM
Every time I see "Champagne Room", I think of that song "Mama Was A Dancer At The Claremont Lounge".
posted by
LeeAnn at November 29, 2003 10:42 PM
« Tell em to shut up!
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by
Madfish Willie on November 29
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Comments (13)
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Champagne Room
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Argghhh!!! The Home of one of Jonah's Military Guys© links with:
Completely Unpaid Advertisement, shamelessly hustled by the Barkeep!
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Snooze Button Dreams links with:
Link Love
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Argghhh!!! The Home of one of Jonah's Military Guys© links with:
Remember! By Noon Today!
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drowning at 2 feet sea level links with:
For The Bartender
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Straight White Guy links with:
NO FAIR!!
Tales From The Champagne Room
It's Sunday and time for another edition of Tales From The Champagne Room!
[Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room]
First are the Bloggers that e-mailed their Tales From The Champagne Room links to me. They get all the gratuitous linkage I can put in their post description. The others that I gleaned from my browsing this week will be in the extended section and get a single link to their post.
Harvey from Bad Money explains Why there is no sex in The Champagne Room. Be sure to read the comments.
It seems that Harvey does most of his dirty talking over in Susie's comments here and here.
Phil at Flying Chair sends in this tale of of all night drunken debauchery. Gaddamn that guy can drink! If you're every in the States holler and we'll go out and get puking drunk together on Vodka!
Last Call »
jmoff at Blogasm.org wants to Take You To Another Level. and to answer his question... Well of course!
Jim at Snooze Button Dreams wants to make payments on a 3 Day Hard On.
Venomous Kate has a friend how shows us her ass while all tied up! I'd like to tie Kate up and bite her on the ass! WooHoo!
Bacchus at ErosBlog wants us to look at some Lesbian Pr0n! Then look at The Lawnmower Man!
Chad at Chokey Chicken gives us this picture.
Joey at Buggre All This goes to The Eye Doctor.
Margi at As I See It.. discusses Internet Erotica.
This is Ilyka's Conversation that started it all.
JaxVenus at Days Go By has a joke that needs to be Enlarged.
Don at Anger Management discusses Forced Sex and Fantasy Fulfillment.
Finn the Viking tells us about the Concorde's 11 Mile High Club
Eric at Straight White Guy goes a googlin' for "johnny wilkinson buttocks".
Groovy Cartoons show what happens when One Of The Girls Calls In Sick.
Jen at Jennifer's History & Stuff wonders What Is Wrong With People? and has a Judge Joke.
Mr Green gices us a church sign.
Daniel at DFMoore: Pizzazz... has a Morality Question. the action is in the comments.
Heather at Angelweave is Famous for naked women.
Pam at Pamibe is blogging nekked!
Dana at Note-It Posts has been trying to tell Harvey, but ...
Eric reports the demise of Penthouse Mag.
SilverBlue brings us a pic of Monica, a PMS cartoon, a new drink called Mount & Do, and a sexy Underwear Model!
JaxVenus tells us there nothing wrong with a Fuck Buddy. I have to agree with her.
Harvey suggests a probong by Space Aliens?
Jen is featured star of SuckWatch.
LeeAnn at The Cheese Stands Alone is an angel! She tapped the Victoria's Secret Fashion for her man, GM1.
Tiger of Tiger, raggin & rantin, reports that Kate has a funny feeling in her pants!
Jen is looking for songs to Get Your Groove On to.
According to The Commisar at The Politburo Diktat, Lesbians Hate Dick
! Well, no shit Sherlock.
Eric is Weird. Check out LeeAnn in the comments.
IcyPolecat at Excet by Robert shows us Winnie the Poo!
Finally, we get to Helen and Helen and Helen.
Now go take a shower and hose yourself off!
« Cut me off!
What they said »
Looks like you had to do most of the work yourself this week. My suggestion would be to either pimp it daily for a while or just leave the pimp post on top for a week & see if that helps.
posted by
Harvey at November 23, 2003 08:27 AM
I wanted to see what kind of response I got to what you, Blackfive and I did. Then do a mailer to all me blogger contacts with cut 'n paste posts included to see what kind of response it got. A little experiment, if you will, for my Blog Tips column!
posted by
The Bartender at November 23, 2003 11:47 AM
Damn, I love this bar..
posted by
Eric at November 23, 2003 11:49 AM
jmoff link is broken
posted by
Harvey at November 24, 2003 08:53 AM
« Tell em to shut up!
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by
Madfish Willie on November 23
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Champagne Room
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drowning at 2 feet sea level links with:
But there IS nudity!
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Tiger: Raggin' & Rantin' links with:
There is no sex in the Champagne Room
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CandyUniverse links with:
Around the Blogosphere
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Anger Management links with:
MORNING ROUND UP
The Champagne Room
It's Sunday and time for another edition of The Champagne Room!
[Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room]
Cremastericreflexitsascrotomaticclenchin'!
K-Cebo of Twisted Fans shows us why we should be fans of Kansas Basketball It looks like I'm a converted Duke fan!
Harvey at Bad Money has some kind of kinky sex bracelet thingy going on over at his joint.
Ravenwood tells us to Be Strong Honey!
Don from anger Management has several gems for us this week. He starts off with some info on Beavers.
He follows that with More on Beavers!
SilverBlue gives a cartoon on Butt Sniffers.
LeeAnn from The Cheese Stands Alone swoons for a Cajun gentleman.
From Bad Money via Snooze Buttom Dreams comes A Woman's Guide on How to Pee Standing Up. Go read Harvey's take on his not being the shortest one at the trough!
Jim pens a tale titled Somnolence of Clouds that is so erotic that it gets banned from the Carnival of the Vanities!
Darren, The Cool Colorado Conservative visits squoogy.com and Butt Hole Drive.
Eric at Straight White Guy is Worried about condom soup!
Pixy Misa has some weird Dominatrix thing going on.
Acidman has the Action Hero Dick of the blogosphere! And he wonders Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw?
Harvey has nasty hairy man-boobs? That's one sick fucker!
SilverBlue has advice for some jack-off: Hide and Go Fuck Yourself!
Holiday Family Fun Fest from BarbiePorn.com [loads really slow but worth the wait]
Phil from Flying Chairs tells us of the perks of being on Hong Kong Vice Squad.
Dear Penis: [flash movie, loads slow]
The Most Phallic Building In The World
Rufus from Rod's Alter Ego gives us a Halloween tale.
Jelly Bracelets and Sex? from Jax Venus at Days Go By
Jennifer gives us some Gratuitous Nudity and Robust, Enthusiastic Porn!
Kim du Toit has shows us some Saturday Skin.
Pathetic Earthlings informs us that Lesbian Affairs aren's considered cheating but oral sex gets you two years!
Don from Anger Management starts up F.U.C.K. as in Phuck Phrank!
Paige asks if we are ready for Men In Skirts?
SilverBlue tells us the most powerful position.
LeeAnn wonders if the Radio Shack carries the Slightest Touch!
Nick the Dragon Slayer needs love too!
Bonnie Heather from Angleweave is looking for a no smoking bra?
Ted from Rocket Jones has discovered Octopus E.D.
Jim gives us the Paris Hilton Sex Video!
NOW I'M GOING TO HAVE TO SCRUB MY EYES WITH A WIRE BRUSH!
Dana, America's #1 pin-up girl, from Note-It Posts finds some sticky globs in her hair!
Here's one for Harvey!
Emmie from I Don't Think Anyone Reads This tells us when it's too young to start getting busy.
Time For Some Wang Tang!
Picture of Winnie the Poo, pulling his pud!
Last, but surely not least is Helen, Helen, Helen, Helen, Helen!
What they said »
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by
Madfish Willie on November 16
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Champagne Room
The Champagne Room
It's Sunday, so it must be time for another edition of The Champagne Room!
[Remember, there is no sex in The Champagne Room]
Last Call »
What they said »
Hah!
Thanks for the kudos.
One of these days, I am so having sex in the Champagne Room. You need someone to initiate it, I think. It should, of course, be me.
posted by
Helen at November 9, 2003 12:48 AM
Helen - just as long as it doesn't smell like mackeral when you're done, I won't tell. And use a coaster so you don't leave any rings on the nice wood furniture.
Bartender - Fuck You. I don't know what you're so upset about. You're the guy who's *selling* me all the XXX black peeing porn.
By the way, someone named "I'm not Glenn" called me and asked if I knew where to find some "hot walrus on walrus action". I gave him your number.
posted by
Harvey at November 9, 2003 08:45 AM
i've been online for like an hour trying to find out what a hoya really is. if you could
email me back and pretty please tell me what a hoya is, that would be wonderful. thanks!
posted by
Bali at January 8, 2004 12:45 AM
« Tell em to shut up!
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by
Madfish Willie on November 9
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Gut Rumbles links with:
grocery list
What Do You See?
What do you see?
Here is a little image I got in a e-mail from a girl who bartended for me for several years and was married to one of my best friends.
Before you click the link to open the pop-up window, read the explaination below.
YOU'LL FIND THIS VERY INTERESTING
Research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario.
What they will see are the nine dolphins.
Additional note: This is a test to determine if you already have a corrupted mind. If it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind is indeed corrupted.
Ok.... look at her crotch..... the V is the tail of one, start at the V and follow it down along her left leg. Look at the space between her right arm and her head, the tail is on her neck, follow it up. Look at her left hip, follow the shaded part down, it's another one, and on his shoulder..... see them now?
Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room!
What they said »
Okay, I looked before I read your caveat. I saw the man and woman, then, after a few seconds saw a dolphin. "Wierd." I thought, "that looks like a dolphin." Then I rwad the paragraph that mentioned nine dolphins and went back. "Holy crap!" I exclaimed silently, There be dolphins aplenty! Even his and her face are defined by dolphins!" Yeah, I scream in my mind a lot.
posted by
Tuning Spork at November 4, 2003 09:56 PM
« Tell em to shut up!
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by
Madfish Willie on November 4
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Anger Management links with:
DAY 2
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Spacecraft links with:
What Do You See?
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Spacecraft links with:
What Do You See?
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Note-It Posts links with:
In tribute...
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Note-It Posts links with:
In tribute...
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Note-It Posts links with:
In tribute...
The Champagne Room
Warning! There is no sex in The Champagne Room! Really!
Don't go in there! Don't say I didn't warn you!
Last Call »
OK... I warned you!
It was Friday afternoon and it had been a long hard week at work. I had also been dumped by my girlfriend for an investment banker from New York. I was driving home when I decided to stop at the store to rent a movie. I was tense and I decided to get an X-Rated movie. I got something I normally would not have, a bondage film. I left and went home and started watching the film and was completely
aroused. My member stood at full attention during the movie. Men were being dominated and whipped into frenzy by beautiful Mistresses. At the end of the movie there was a phone number to call if you would like to experience such sexual pleasure. I was so excited, that I called right away. I got a sweet voiced woman named Jenny. She said that they would start me off on something very gentle, but boy was that a lie. So they gave me directions to a ranch type place about 70 miles away. I drove there as quick as I could, I could hardly stand the excitement, I came in my pants on the way there.
I got there and drove down to the entrance and got out and went in. Jenny was at the desk and said have a seat for a few minutes. So I waited and in about 10 minutes a red-headed perfect 10 woman named Susan came and took me in a small room and she said you must wait here 2 hours to see if you can stand the torture you will receive. Before I could say anything, she stripped me of my clothes, chained my hands to restraints hanging from the ceiling, chained my leggs to the floor, and gagged and blindfolded me.
I thought what have I gotten into as I heard her close the door. I stood there in pain for what seemed like eternity, and finally someone came in and unchained me and put handcuffs on my hands and feet and took me to another room. There I was introduced to Mistress Andrea. She ordered me on my knees, and instructed me to address her as Mistress Andrea, and only when asked to do so. I did as she said and she took off my gagg and blindfold. She then said I am going to turn you into a woman.
She told me to lie flat and she shaved all the hair from my legs, arms, and chest. She then put a corset on me that was so tight I could hardly breathe. She put breast inserts in my corset and then took the whip and hit me really hard across the ass, she said just a taste of what you'll get if you resist. By this time my dick was rock hard, she said I see that and if it goes off before I wish you
will get a beating you'll never forget. She then gave me a pair of fishnet hose and ordered me to put them on. I put them on and tried to fasten them to the garters, and she whipped me once more for taking so long. Then she took a butt-plug and shoved it in my ass. Then she put me in a special chair and strapped my neck to the top as well as my arms and leggs. She then put long fingernails on my hands and painted them red. She also put makeup on my face. I wanted to resist, but for some reason I was really enjoying it. She then put a brown long wig on me. She put a pair of 5 inch stilleto black heels on my feet and unchained me and put a leash on my neck and put me in a straight jacket and chained my feet. She said I'm going to take a break for a while, Susan is going to chain you to the bed and suck your dick, If you come I will beat you so don't come. I thought oh shit I was already about to cumm now.
Susan took the straight jacket off and chained my hands and feet to the bed as tight as she could. Susan asked me how gullible I could be to believe that this would be easy and not rough, but before I could answer, she stuck a vibrator the shape of a dick in my mouth and get used to it, you will have to do that next. She put a mask over my head to hold the vibrator in place, and put nipple clipps on my nipples under the pressure of the corset ouch!!
She then said I never get to whip anyone and she took the whip and struck me on the thighs till I was about to die. She then begin sucking my dick and it was about to burst, I shot forth in a blasting like motion, and I thought oh no more pain. She continued to suck and I continued to cumm. My whole body was shaking.
Then Mistress Andrea walked in and said I was in big trouble now. She took Susan and chained her to the wall and said I'll let him deal with you you were only supposed to suck his dick. She put me on a wheel and I was still masked and still had the vibrator in my mouth, she chained my midsection,hands,and feet and started turning the wheel, and I became dizzy very quickly. She then started whipping me with a long leather whip with knots at the ends of the strands. She hit me several times across the legs, and the louder I screamed the harder she hit. Remember I am still wearing the corset, mask, vibrator, butt plug, nipple clips, stockings and heels, so when the whip hit and I squirmed it made all those things intensly painful. She then stopped the wheel, put me on it backwards, so she could whip my ass. She beat me till I nearly bled.
She finally got tired and let me down and untied me, I came out of that gettup and took Andrea and Susan who were wearing latex bodysuits with open nipples and crotches, and shoved a vibrator up each of their asses and chained them both to the restraits hanging from the ceiling, and gagged and masked them both, I still had on the corset, stockings, and heels, I kinda liked the way they felt. I whipped them both. They were screaming with pleasure, then I shoved my rock hard member into their dripping wet pussys, I started with Susan and banged her hard, she cried for me to stop, but I gave her more, and I did the same to Andrea. So when all was done, I told them I would let them go on one condition, that they be my slaves, and so they are, and I punish them if they misbehave.
I told you not to come in here... didn't I! I just love girls named Andrea for some strange reason...
« Cut me off!
What they said »
Yeah, you *did* say that, but you forgot to add "No, seriously." at the end.
Or maybe something like "DANGER: hard core pornography at the other end of this link."
Yeep!
Oh, this comment was *not* a complaint, in case you were wondering ;-)
posted by
Harvey at November 2, 2003 10:51 PM
Holy CRAP, Bartender....I think I need a drink after reading THAT story...DANG!
posted by
Eric at November 3, 2003 05:52 AM
AY-YI-YI!! Um, that was pretty...um, graphic.
Um, I'm gonna go join the B'a'hai Faith now...
--TwoDragons
posted by
Denita TwoDragons at November 3, 2003 05:33 PM
And people say I'm hardcore!
HA!
posted by
Helen at November 4, 2003 09:20 AM
I think I need to wash out my eyes with Holy Water.
posted by
serenity at November 5, 2003 12:25 AM
« Tell em to shut up!
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by
Madfish Willie on November 2
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Champagne Room
The Champagne Room
Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room!
I don't care if this link gets worn out - I love having an On-line Orgasm!
Don't go drinking with Donnie, from Ain't Done It's, friend Charlie, he'll get you all fucked up!
Russ at Tac Jammer thinks Karaoke is like nudity?
SilverBlue's final thoughts are that Sex Is Bad?
Bejus from Ain't Done It learnt 7 thangs from neekid movies.
The Lovely Helen from Everyday Stranger would like some breasts to go please!
Helen also needs some feedback on how to shape her minge!
Finn, the Viking from Casting Magic Missile got me all dressed and then gave me nowhere to go. Dickhead!
Acidman from Gut Rumbles discusses the difference between the p0rn industry and playing in a band.
Mamamontezz from the Mental Rumpus Room is giving schoolboys Viagra? Like those horny little bastards need any.
James at Outside the Beltway has pics of your favorite blogger babes!
Jfielek at Quibbles-n-Bits is a Love Retard!
SilverBlue's friend PoloRandy discovers how condoms are really made.
Eric at Straight White Guy has a list of pick-up lines. I wonder how many times he got the shit slapped out of him?
Sugarcoated at Sugarmama's reveals a sexual revolution of sorts.
MCSE at The Kingdom of the Geeks father is an exotic dancer in a homosexual cabaret. Not really, but go read anyway.
Eric at Straight White Guy has an echo in Snow White's Fairy Tale.
Read My Boobs - a short movie.
LeAnn at the Cheese Stands Alone has a Pubic Service Announcement.
Margi at www[dot]margilowry[dot]com tell us Where Things Went Terribly Wrong (scroll down the page).
Harvey at Bad Money nominates Susie, a Corner of the Bar Babe for Pet of The Month. I'm pretty sure that he's stepping on his dick here.
Geoffrey at Dog Snot Diaries says Ass Jockey?
Acidman strikes again with dont Bite Me!
Acidman also tells us all about chicken sex.
Jennifer from Jennifer's History & Things should probably have skipped this one.
LeAnn has Cheesy Joke #875. Anyone need a baseball glove and bat?
And to wrap it up, Acidman presents "Dr Acidman's Sex Clinic".
That'll be all that kind of talk for this week!
Cheers!
What they said »
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by
Madfish Willie on October 26
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Champagne Room
Tales From The Champagne Room
>Remember: There is no sex in The Champagne Room!
I don't care if this link gets worn out - I love having an On-line Orgasm!
Harvey shows the little guy where to get help!
The Tenth Muse as an interesting post title: Nightime Sniffling Sneezing Coughing Aching Fuck Me In the Ass Medicine
Check out this Jack-off Idiot over at Straight White Guy
Straight White Guy tells us how to have Lesbian Quickie Sex.
Mexicans are getting naked at Straight White Guy - He gets a lot of these kind of posts.
Dawn has a message for us via SilverBlue.
This asian beauty leaves Eric at a total loss for words.
Kids Say the Darndest Things according to Jim at Snooze Button Dreams
Jim also reports on a Confessional while wondering Since 'nude' means naked...
Acidman likes itty bitty titties!
Bill Cimino at Bloviating Insanties wakes up naked after a Family Reunion.
Vicky, Don's new blogging partner at Anger Management... doesn't swallow?
What Champagne Room discussion can be complete without Helen from Everyday Stranger? She deals with Jealousy.
Finally, the Top 10 List of reasons to go to work naked:
10. No one ever steals your chair.
9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work late.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
6. You want to see if it's like the dream.
5. To stop those creepy programmer guys next door from looking down your blouse.
4. "I'd love to chip in... but I left my wallet in my pants."
3. Inventive way to finally meet that 'special' person in Human Resources.
2. Can take advantage of your computer monitor radiation to work on your tan.
And...[drum roll]...the Number One reason to go to work naked :
1. The boss will never say, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!" ever again.
That was an e-mail from my mom - she's weird!
Cheers!
What they said »
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by
Madfish Willie on October 21
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Champagne Room