After Your Fifth Drink....
For your entertainment today, I have a funny list of stuff that happens after your fifth drink. I can't remember where I grabbed this from, therefore I cannot give the proper credits. If you've seen it somewhere else, let me know.
Which one is Harvey today?
Numbers 41-60 of 207:
- You’re stalked by alcoholic vampires.
- You have never screwed a cap back onto a liquor bottle.
- Your friends pretend to be bartenders, just so you’ll pay attention to them.
- Your personal mantra is, "Where there’s a swill, there’s a sway."
- You suffer from barthritis— every night you get stiff in another joint.
- You don’t recognize the difference between "waking up" and "coming to."
- You donate a pint of blood and the hospital has to card the patient they give it to.
- Your liver enters itself in a Tough Man competition.
- You wear Hawaiian shirts because it’s tougher to see vomit stains on them.
- Going out drinking with you is covered by your friends’ insurance.
- As a child your dad helped you learn math by first explaining a four-count.
- Your personal math system is based on the number six, i.e.: "I’ll take a twelver of Big Macs, with a sixer of those without cheese."
- You use visualization techniques to master beer bongs.
- In high school, you were voted most likely to drink in grade school.
- 2 for 1 is your lucky number.
- A perfect date is soft music, a bottle of wine and moi.
- A couple times a year you go on a "non-bender."
- Before you go out each night you consult a psychic hotline to determine which bartenders will be pouring strong.
- Peeling the label off a beer bottle arouses you.
- You feel a tinge of pride when someone refers to you as a "shameless alcoholic."
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by
Madfish Willie on January 13
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After number five, i usually become the designated driver.
I'm #46, but 45 & 52 are sooooo Matty O'Blackfive that he should just have those numbers tattooed on his arm.
Not his note-taking arm, though.
I can SOOOOO identify with #46...