Scattershooting

Not much in the way of scattershooting this week... been busy helping move all the new MuNuvians set up their MT blogs and move their links and pics and stylesheets. It's not difficult, but it's real time consuming.

So far I've moved Key Issues, A Likely Story, Brain Fertilizer, There's One, Only (in process), Mamamontezz, Educated Beyond Her Intelligence, and there is someone else, but I can't remember... Oh yeah... it's Straight White Guy, who's moving off his current server/host due to some problems. We have so many new and excellent blogs at MuNuviana, it's getting hard to read them and everybody else I want to read everyday...

My new favorite blog is The Commissar! That guy cracks me up.

Hey, I'm flipping around the tube this weekend and I see The Blue Man Group on Direct TV's Freeview. Man... those guys KICK ASS!... a visual kaleidascope, an explosion of colors and textures, a veritable lighting and video extravaganza... if you like drums and percussion instruments, you won't want to miss this... they had four dudes working a colossal bank of drums just kicking ass the whole time... a unique auditory experience... the best part was Annette Strean from Venus Hum singing a cover of Donna Summer's I Feel Love! THAT ROCKED!!!! If you ever get the chance, don't miss the opportunity to experience the phenomenal Blue Man Group.

Check out this article about Google Bombing! Serves Kerry right... take A position... take ANY position... as long as it's only ONE postion. Google Bombs in USA Today... must have been a slow news day?

Kudos to Phil Mickelson on finally winning his first major golf tournament! The Masters, no less. And he's a lefty! Ya gotta like that.

Scattershooting...

My cat Harold is housebroken. He runs outside to make a poop. No nasty litter boxes to clean up. How cool is that? He looks like a holstein milk cow - black spots on white body. Except his nose... that has a little brown patch on it... it looks like he has been out burying a bone or something in the dirt like a dog and then covering it up with his nose.

Has anybody beside me ever seen the movie Evil Roy Slade? I saw that when I was in high school. I laughed my ass off. As a baby, his family was headed west in a wagon train. The wagon train was attacked by Indians and everyone killed or taken away or something. The only one left was this baby in a diaper. The Indians took one look at the baby and ran away. Next, the wolves came. They took one look at the baby and ran away. So, he grows up all alone out on the prairie in his diaper. Cut to several years later... Evil Roy Slade, fully grown and still wearing his diaper, is wondering around in the fields, stumbles over something, walks up to a big bunch of prickley pear cactus and KICKS it! Bwahahaha!

Go over and check SithMonkey's new blog. Me and Darth Monkeybone grew up in the same boys home... he was there a couple of years after I graduated... but we share a common "heritage". We were over at the Misha's chatroom on week-end night several months ago and through the course of discussion, figured out what we had in common. It's a small world after all.

Hehe... don't buy any shit from these dumbfucks! Be sure to read the comments, too. I wonder why they did initial caps on all but the last word?

Has anyone heard of any others bloggers in San Antonio? I know a bunch in Houston and Dallas and a couple in Austin... what about the rest of Texas? Just wondering is all.

Looky here! I found this picture of Harvey!

Something I've noticed on some TV series, they never have any lights on... I mean no one works in the dark like that. Check SCI, CSI:Miami, there are some others but I can't remember them off the top of my head. Those CSI people are always working in the fucking dark... every indoor crime scene is investigated with the lights off... even in the office they don't have any lights... how much crap do they miss because they won't flip a fucking light switch?

Scattershooting...

How do dogs remember where the hell they have buried all the shit they bury? Some type of doggie-radar? YellowDog can find shit she has buried months ago - tennis balls, etc - when the one she was playing with got bounced over the fence or rolls under the frig. Fucking weird.

Speaking of dogs... Go check out Two Nervous Dogs. I like her writing style and subject matter. And her pictures of her chocolate dog. Plus, I don't know if she knows this, she is a Corner of The Bar Babe!

Flashback... Atom Ant/Secret Squirrel... The Adventures of Rocky & Bullwinkle... I hated Sesame Street... Never watched Mr Rogers... Popeye - now that guy was always kicking some ass... Bugs Bunny - did anyone ever fuck him up, EVER?...

I was born in the wrong cenutry. I would have loved living in the "old west", except maybe for all them wild fucking Indians trying to scalp you all the damn time. Other than that, if someone was giving you a bunch of shit or they fucked you over, it was a lot easier to settle the arguement. You blew their head off or they blew your head off. Case closed!

Flashback... Maverick (James Garner)... Rawhide (Duh! Clint Eastwood)... Gunsmoke (longest running series in TV history)... Have Gun Will Travel (that guy was cool in his black outfit, plus he always kicked some dickhead's ass)... The Big Valley (a young and beautiful Linda Evans), there are some more but I can't remember the names of them right now. All in black & white too. ...Alias Smith & Jones

Scattershooting...

My thoughts on the steriods/illegal drug testing issue in professional sports? They are all a bunch of pussies! Let 'em try the IOC testing program or the one the the bicyclists have to go through. Then they would know what testing is all about. The penalties dealt out in those programs would effectively terminate most professional careers. Imagine having to sit out two years of your multi-million dollar a year career.

Allen Iverson is a spoiled brat troublemaker. Why is he too good to come off the bench? Why is he too good to play by the rules the rest of his teammates have to play by? I don't recall any titles on his collegiate or professional resume. Until then, I think he should just shut the fuck up and do what the coach tells him to do.

Terrell [There is no I in team, but there is a M and a E and that spells ME] Owens is a bad person to have on your football team. He is a great talent, no doubt about it, but his ME-first attitude is poison. My predictions are the Ravens will be better off without him, the Eagles will wish they had never seen him by the middle of the year, and the Eagles won't make it to the Conference Title Game this year.

First Starky & Hutch, and now Walking Tall? What's next... Billy Jack? I like The Rock, but remaking Walking Tall is a bad move. It seems to me The Rock is good in an action/comedy movie. I may be wrong, but I don't think so.

Remember when a multiplex theatre was the Cinema I & II.

Did you know that The Flintstones was the longest running prime time animated series ever until it was eclipsed by The Simpsons?

I think The Flintstones was based on The Honeymooners with Jackie Gleason and Art Carney... think about that.

I think Star Trek was Gunsmoke in outer space. Think about the how the characters correlate to each other.

I met Ken Curtis who played Deputy Festus Haggen at the boys home where I grew up. He came to do a little show... in his Gunsmoke costume and everything... he was really sick but "the show must go on"... then he stuck around to talk to some of the kids... a really cool guy!

You know when Star Trek first came out on TV... and we thought those flip open communicators were really cool... today we call them cell phones!

What ever happened to Sandy Koufax? Check out his stats from 1963 to 1966... won the pitching Triple Crown 3 out of 4 years... the most dominate pitcher EVER!

Joe DiMaggio always insisted on being introduced as "The Greatest Living Baseball Player". Although I agree he was one of the best to ever play the game, how fucking arrogant was that?

Who is the greatest living baseball player today? Stan Musial, Willie Mays, Henry Aaron, Barry "S" Bonds?

WooHoo!

OK.. Look how cool this is... watch the banner/logo thingy... press [F5]... presto-chango a new banner/logo thingy! Isn't that the tits!

I like neat little doohickey thingamabob whachamcallit chingaderas!

I'd really like to credit where much credit is really due. Pam from Pamibe did all the banner designs at the top, one at the bottom of the sidebar, the banners on the comments and trackback pages, and the banners on the archive pages. She even re-worked them for me after I gave her the wrong sizes because she didn't like the way they looked stretched out. And didn't complain a single time!

They are simply fantastic looking, don't you think? She also designed the logo for Dana's Bloggers With Boobies cult little group. She sure has a lot of talent for this type of thing.

Over my many years in the nightclub business, I opened 18 locations and had to deal with a bunch of graphic artists. A good 90% of them were complete assholes. They did what they wanted and thought looked good and fuck me, and they will get the work done when the spirit moved them. Well, Pam is as good as the best of them were and better than most. I am really just too impressed with the quality of her designs, the speed at which she did them, and her attitude about the whole project. I cannot thank her enough for what she did.

Well, with so many cool banner/logo thingys, I needed to show them off to both of my regular readers. I remembered that Jeff at BigStick.US has some rotating banners. So, I bribed confered and cajoled and trashed some of his trolls and he sold shared his code with me. He walked me through the install and a sizing issue while we were on an IM session. Presto-chango coding 101! Jeff also has a neat skinning script in his sidebar with some pretty good stylesheets. He even has one as a tribute to Frnak!

Anyway, I just wanted to thank you to both of them for helping me out. Now go over to their sites and tell them how cool they are!! Tell them Willie sent ya!

You Asked, The Bartender Answered

Well, my Interview with Jen is finally up. The answers to all the deep and probing questions of a lifetime of alcohol and drug abuse. Damn, she didn't give me much time to be the smart-ass fucker that I usually am. But, it was fun anyway.

If you haven't had an interview yet, go get signed up and take your beatin like a real man!

Who Would You Kill?

If you were a writer on the Star Trek TV series, who would you kill off? Why? How?

I would kill off those fuzzy, loveable little tribbles. They were the worst excuse for bad guys ever! And that episode, although always voted as one of the fan favorites, totally sucked. Where was Space Babe Helen for Kirk to hit on for a piece of space ass? Where was Ensign Dead Meat and how did he die? Where was the ugly alien mofo that Kirk kicks the shit out of? I mean... fuck a tribble. What the g-ddamn hell was a tribble anyway? Just a furry piece of crap that could only eat, shit, and fuck. They should have been crushed with a sledge hammer and then beamed out into the cold vaccum of deep space, never to be seen or heard from again. The same goes for that goofy jerk-off who brought the fucking things to the Enterprise in the first place! [In space, no one can hear you scream.] However, in his next appearance, he brought three really hot space babes in really short skirts to the Enterprise for the Captain! So, maybe we give him a pass on beaming him out, but we still smash his balls with the sledge hammer!

Check out these characters and their horrible demises that their fans, and we use this term very loosely, have plotted for them!

Click down to see the current tally of who gets killed and how many times they die a gruesome death!

Then, link on over to the site and read about the various ways Star Trek fans have killed off their least favorite characters! [For some strange reason, Uhura always seems to be involved in a kinky sex scene with Capt Kirk... what's up with that?]

               

Last Call »

You Asked, Jim Answers

You asked and Jim Answered.

Jennifer's Interview with Jim from Snooze Button Dreams is up now. Go read it... Find out about the sex thing with Helen!

Dr Phil's Test

Below is Dr. Phil's test. (Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah-she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out. Read on, this is very interesting!

Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself and send it to your friends.

The person who sent it placed their score in the subject box. Please do the same before forwarding to your friends. (send it back to the person who sent it to you)

Don't peek but begin the test as you scroll down and answer. Answers are for who you are now...... not who you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today. It helps them get better insight concerning their employees and prospective employees. It's only 10 simple questions, so...... grab a pencil and paper, keeping track of your letter answers.

Make sure to change the subject of the e-mail to read YOUR total. When you are finished, forward this to everyone you know, and also send it to the person who sent this to you. Make sure to put YOUR score in the subject box. Ready??

Begin...

Survivor: Blog Edition

It looks like Don at Anger Management has the tentative schedule lined up for his contest, Survivor: Blog Edition. Below is a recap of where to find the pertinent information:

Survivor: Schedule

Survivor: The Slogan

Survivor: The Rules

Survivor: The Announcement

I've browsed the rules and contest outline, and if it's anywhere near the quality of work that Don does with his blog writing, it's sure to be a Home Run! it looks like a real interesting project with blogger participation in the voting and possiblities galore for skill, daring and knowledge (not to mention cunning behind the scenes deal making and sabotage)! Go check it out and keep an eye and ear open for more announcements regarding the final blog site, rules, contestants, etc.

Good Luck, Don!

You Ask, Susie Questions

You Ask, Susie Will Answer....

But not without any questions. Jennifer is still taking questions for Susie's interview, so get with the program and send your questions to JenLars.

Bonfire of The Vanities

Kevin's got this week's Bonfire a blazin'!

I even see an entry for Venomous Kate! Has anyone ever used the Psuedodictionary? It's a funny as hell deal when you put together an entire post and scatter a bunch of the terminology throughout it. Kate seems to get a lot of milage out of it ever time she does one.

Go over and read the Bonfire entries and especially read Kate's entry!

Google Freak

Hey... I told you about my Google Freak that is always searching lion sleeps tonight with different combinations of other words...

Well, go check out my referral logs in my site meter! The freak has 9 searches already today! I mean, what is with that?

I just checked the details on the referral log and they are all different IP addresses... so, can anyone tell me what the fjuck... is this one person searching... or a whole friggin group looking for something... if it's one person, you would think they would have found what they were looking for on my site by now... or would have at least bookmarked it so they wouldn't have to do the search every time... weird... just plain weird.

Hunting The Halloween Snark

Venomous Kate has the Halloween Edition of the Snark Hunt posted. Her weekly Snark Hunt was one of the first things I read regularly in the blogosphere. It always has some funny stuff and this week is no exception. After you're finished reading the rest of MY STUFF, come back up here a slink over to Electric Venom!

Cheers!

Googling for Dollars

I've been looking throught the referrer logs to see what people are searching for when they run across Madfish Willie's. Some of this crap is too funny. How does one associate these search terms with my site? Plus there is one anal retentive guy that is stuck on "lion sleeps tonight" - every day, two or three hits for that search term. I wonder... what's up with that?

Here are terms that people google and yahoo search and Madfish Willie's is returned as a hit:

• Usual saloon names


• lion sleeps tonight + movie + hippo


• singing hippo + dancing dog + lions sleeps tonight


• hippo + lion sleeps tonight - #2


• cold remedy + bloody mary


• sodering for dummies


• picasso's favorite dish


• recipe rosarita fish taco


• baby elephant cheers drunk


• halloween costume ideas


• halloween costume idea college posting


• costume saloon bartender


• pumpkin carving that look like throwing up


• cookie in finnish


• recipe rosarita fish taco


• hypnotic drink manufacturer


• drunk as cooter brown


• slut bimbo chewy


• adult cartoon cure sore throat


• hairy buffalo punch recipe fresh fruit - #23


• halloween butter sex - #15


• show off your willie and boobs - #10


• yucatan liquor stand owned by - #3


• fucked up halloween costume ideas - #2


• saloon pics alcohol - #2


• bart on the road homer "why can't you" - #1


• banana dacquiri recipe - #1


• spokeless rim pics - #1


• asshat turd burglar - #1


• shithead hall of fame

How did I get to be number one search for Asshat Turd Burglar?

How the hell did Madfish Willie's get into the Shithead Hall of Fame?

Cheers!

Jokes From Mom

My mom gets all these stupid jokes and crap in e-mail from one of her friends.

I saw this over at Aimless Forrest and it gave me a chance to post my mom's joke and get it off my computer.

Okay, Okay, it all makes sense now... I never looked at it this way before:

MENtal illness

MENstrual cramps

MENtal breakdown

MENopause

GUYnecologist

When we have REAL trouble, it's a HISterectomy.

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with MEN?

Send this to all the women you know to brighten their day.

Send this to all the men just to annoy them.

What? No Friggin' Tip?

This is what happens when you don't leave a tip for The Bartender!

Thanks to Dizzy Girl at Aimless Forrest.

Well, I'm finally making the

Well, I'm finally making the move to MT with the Munuviana group. This will be my final post at this site.

My new address will be http://MadishWillies.mu.nu/ or Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon.

While I personally never had any problems here with Blogger and Blog*Spot, there is just a more robust feature set to not make the move. My file archives will still be here for the time being until Pixy Misa or someone over at Munuviana can assist me in moving them to the new server. I guess I'll keep this address for backup and emergencies - whatever that might be.

Cheers!

Fuck You!

I have a horrible habit that I cannot seem to break. I cuss worse than a sailor. As a matter of fact, sailors run the other way when they hear me coming. Shit, crap, piss, bitch, prick, cock-sucker, muther-fucker, asshole, fuck, dick,...

When I ran across this article, it was too good not to share with everyone, that is unless Jennifer hasn't already done it.

The Historical Origin Of The Middle Finger

by Rich Dunn

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger, it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the future.

This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew." Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French,saying, "See, we can still pluck yew! PLUCK YEW!"

Over the years, some 'folk etymologies' have grown up around this symbolic gesture. Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say (like "pleasant mother pheasant plucker", which is who you had to go to for the feathers used on the arrows for the longbow), the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter.

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

Fuck You! and Fuck You!

Comments? We don't leave no

Comments? We don't leave no stinkin comments!

What's the deal with people never leaving comments to my stuff? It's not funny? You don't like it? You hate my guts?

Maybe I'm just weird, but when I go to a site and browse around and read stuff, I leave a footprint so the blogger knew that I was there. Shit, say something... anything... hi... bye... good morning... fuck you! I expect the usual suspects to follow up on this and leave me the obligatory FY in the comments and I have a comment for you: Bite Me!

Just wonderin, s'all!

Cheers!

Comments?

Comments? We don't leave no stinkin comments!

What's the deal with people never leaving comments to my stuff? It's not funny? You don't like it? You hate my guts?

Maybe I'm just weird, but when I go to a site and browse around and read stuff, I leave a footprint so the blogger knew that I was there. Shit, say something... anything... hi... bye... good morning... fuck you! I expect the usual suspects to follow up on this and leave me the obligatory FY in the comments and I have a comment for you: Bite Me!

Just wonderin, s'all!

Cheers!

You Asked, Jen Answers

It looks like The Nanopundit has turned the tables and interviewed the lovely Jennifer.

These blogger interviews are a really good idea and Jennifer's execution of it is outstanding.

My interview is in the que over at Jennifer's History & Stuff. I hope I can be as funny as Bad Money, my Blogfather or Blackfive, my Blog Uncle.

Cheers!

Venomous Kate

Venomous Kate leaps tall buildings and overcomes sickness and all other obstacles to give us another edition of The Hunting Of The Snark.

I've been working on my move over to MT at Munuviana this week-end, and I haven't had time to read most of them, but I saw some familiar tracks over there: Bad Money, Blackfive, Madfish Willie, Paige's Page, Snooze Button Dreams are on my regular reading lists.

I don't know about anybody else, but I get all giddy when I see my site mentioned by one of the Mortal Humans. Plus I get a shitload of traffic (which is slightly less than a buttload of traffic). I love getting a Kate-alanche or a Rumble-lanche.

Cheers!

G's New Name

Go over to Snooze Button Dreams right now and vote for G's new nickname. The poll is a drop down poll in the siderbar.

Now.Go.Vote.For.Moondoggie! (Moondoggie was my entry and he's tied for first!)

Cheers!

Every year for Halloween, we

Every year for Halloween, we decorate the joint real scary-like, put on some ghoulish costumes and try to scare the crap out of everybody that walks in the door. I'll be posting about Halloween ralated stuff all week - Jack-O-Lanterns, costumes, trick or treats, and all that kind of neat crap. Here is the first frightnening installment of hell week!

Starting the week off, SilverBlue wants to know how you spend your Halloween.

Psycho Dad at Psychtic Rants found some cool Jack-O-Lanterns that were involved somehow in an Evil Glenn Filthy Lie. Apparently, Evil Glenn was playing grab ass of some sort and this is the end result.

Candy, a Corner of the Bar Babe, from Candy Universe has a really cool looking poll thingy in her sidebar. Go vote and check out Evil Glenn's Halloween pics!

Simon of Simon's World explains the Australian traditions of Halloween.

Still hunting for that fantastic costume idea so you can win the big prize? SilverBlue has some great costume ideas and links to some better ideas at CostumeIdeaZone. He then proceeeds to tell us why you won't win. What an asshole! He makes up by suppling us with this cartoon and this Wonder Womanphoto.

Physics Geek, Madfish Willie's Official Brewmeister, pours us a double strength post with 15 reasons Halloween is better than sex and 10 things that sound dirty but aren't.

Captain Awesome at Boat Drinks has candy, costumes, horror movie marathions, special halloween episodes and everything else going on this year.

Caleb at Caleb Walker has a link to HellStop.

Then there's candy: Happy Hulk Halloween, Heather of Angleweave has a diet alternative, and Jennifer from Jennifer's History & Stuff has a yummy recipe for Caramel Apple Cheesecake!

To decorate your site, you can download this really cool script of flying ghosts!!!

That's it for this scary edition of Halloween posts. Tomorrow we'll get in to extreme pumpkin carving and tips from the pros!

Cheers!

The Star Wars Drinking Game

The Star Wars Drinking Game

Madfish Willie has a huge repertoire of drinking games! Some of them suck, and some of them are pretty good. Some of them are new and some of them you already know. I'll post the best one's around, starting with this one with a Star Wars theme. I'm kinda of a Sci-Fi fan and everybody likes the original Star Wars trilogy, so here goes:

To play the Star Wars Drinking Game, you will need:
The Star Wars Trilogy on tape (one movie for a short game).
An ample supply of your favorite beverage.
A really good sound system, so the explosions seem to happen all around you. Kapow! (optional)
Begin by inserting your weatherbeaten "Star Wars" videotape into the big slot on your VCR. Dim the lights for dramatic effect, and play the tape. The game begins right as "20th Century Fox" appears on the screen.

Once the game has begun, you watch the movie for the listed events. Every time one of them occurs, everybody takes a sip of their drink.

Drink when:
-Someone has a bad feeling about this.
-It's their only hope.
-An entire planet is described as having one climate.
-Somebody gets choked.
-A woman other than Leia is on screen
-An old Jedi starts to ramble about the Force. (Vader counts.)
-Somebody's hand gets cut off.
-A gigantic technological marvel explodes in a single blast.
-There is a tremor in the Force.
-It's not someone's fault
-One or more heroes are almost eaten by a Thing
-A Jedi is much more powerful than he looks
-Someone exclaims "No!"
-Someone does something apparently suicidal that turns out to be a good idea
-Twice if it's not Han
-Someone wears the same outfit in all three movies--it counts if they change at the end
-Someone is mind-controled using the Force
-People kiss
-A good guy wears white or a bad guy wears black
-Twice if a bad guy wears white and a good guy wears black (for uniforms, only the first person on screen counts)
-Three times if someone hovering in between wears gray
-Every time you find yourself talking to the people on screen
-An elaborately made up alien has no lines
-Someone or something tries to get money from Han
-Some ship crashes into something after being hit.
-Someone has a light saber duel (includes just using light saber)
-An Ewok dies, and the camera lingers longer than it did when the Death Star exploded, killing billions of people. -(Fourteen seconds. Count'em.)
-It is Luke's destiny.
-Luke whines.
-Luke discovers a long-lost relative.
-Luke fights monsters or savages.
-Luke does some nifty acrobatic flip.
-Luke teeters on the brink of a chasm.
-Luke is upside-down
-Luke and Lando are in the same place at the same time
-Twice if they speak to each other
-Luke's parentage is Foreshadowed
-Luke refuses to take someone's advice
-Luke yells "Artooooo!"
-Leia insults somebody.
-Leia wears an outfit that covers everything except her face and hands
-Twice if it covers her neck
-Three times if she's almost totally nude
-Obi-Wan Kenobi materializes for a guest appearance.
-Obi-Wan Kenobi plays detective. ("...Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.")
-Han brags about the Millenium Falcon.
-Anybody insults the Millenium Falcon.
-Something doesn't work on the Falcon
-Twice if it's the hyperdrive
-Yoda uses bad grammar.
-Yoda talks like a fortune cookie.
-R2-D2 gets thrashed.
-R2-D2 plugs into the wrong socket and his head spins around.
-C-3PO loses a body part. (Take two drinks if he is completely dismembered.)
-C-3PO informs us of just how many forms of communication he's familiar with
-A Rebel pilot is of a race other than white
-Twice if they're non human (co-pilots count)
-A Rebel Pilot says "Nice Shot..."
-A Rebel Pilot says "I've been hit..."
-Tarkin brags about the Death Star.
Now, if you aren't drunk at the end of this game - you are one sick sunuvabitch and need to get some serious help!

Cheers!

Tonight's playlist is from SilverBlue,

Tonight's playlist is from SilverBlue, Madfish Willie's very own Virtual Disc Jockey. It is titled: The Cheating Time

Tonight's playlist, includes:

Eagles - Lyin' Eyes
Lorrie Morgan - I Guess You Had To Be There
Eurythmics - Who's That Girl?
Roxette - What's She Like?
Garth Brooks - The Thunder Rolls
Reba McEntire - Ring On Her Finger (Time On Her Hands)
Randy Travis - Reasons I Cheat
Shania Twain - Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?
Cathy Dennis - You Lied To Me
Timi Yuro - Something Bad On My Mind
Maureen McGregor - Torn Between Two Lovers
Bananarama - Last Thing On My Mind
Lara Fabian or Josh Groban - Broken Vow
Samantha Fox - Another Woman (Too Many People)
Crystal Gayle - Talking In Your Sleep
Barbara Mandrell - If Loving You Is Wrong (I Don't Wanna Be Right)

Cheers!

Remember the first drink you

Remember the first drink you ever took? (With your parents doesn't count - sneaking out is where it's at!)

How about the first time you got drunk?...

The first bar you were ever in?...

The first bar you ever got thrown out of?...

Madfish Willie remembers all of that stuff! And he wants to hear your stories of "The First Time". Post your stories and send me a link via e-mail and Madfish Willie's will distribute some Drinky Links and he will tell you Tales of The First Time from his own adventures!

He has four tall tales to tell and will tell a tale when he gets some posts to link to!

He is particularly interested in tales from The Corner of The Bar Gang and The Corner of The Bar Babes!!

Maybe we'll even make a contest on who has the funniest tales! If Madfish Willie gets five posts on a particular First Time, we'll post all the links and let the readers decide who was funniest!

What does the winner get? Winner gets to be the featured star of a one of The Continuing Adventures of Madfish Willie stories, with gratuitous linkage and multiple posts!

Cheers!

Virtual Music

Tonight's playlist is from SilverBlue, Madfish Willie's very own Virtual Disc Jockey. It is titled: The Cheating Time

Tonight's playlist, includes:

Eagles - Lyin' Eyes
Lorrie Morgan - I Guess You Had To Be There
Eurythmics - Who's That Girl?
Roxette - What's She Like?
Garth Brooks - The Thunder Rolls
Reba McEntire - Ring On Her Finger (Time On Her Hands)
Randy Travis - Reasons I Cheat
Shania Twain - Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?
Cathy Dennis - You Lied To Me
Timi Yuro - Something Bad On My Mind
Maureen McGregor - Torn Between Two Lovers
Bananarama - Last Thing On My Mind
Lara Fabian or Josh Groban - Broken Vow
Samantha Fox - Another Woman (Too Many People)
Crystal Gayle - Talking In Your Sleep
Barbara Mandrell - If Loving You Is Wrong (I Don't Wanna Be Right)

Cheers!

Virtual Music

I asked Madfish Willie's Virtual DJ, Silver Blue, to compile a list of songs that have drinking or something related to drinking in the song title.

He came up with this list that I want to post and then add-on for one big definitive list that I can post via a link on the sidebar. So here is the starting list:

Toby Keith / Willie Nelson: Whiskey for my Men, Beer for my Horses!
AC/DC: Have a Drink On Me
Loretta Lynn: Don't Come Home-A Drinkin' With Lovin On Your Mind
David Frizell : I'm Gonna Hire A Wino
Jimmy Buffett: Why Don't We Get Drunk
Garth Brooks: Two Pina Coladas
Johnny Paycheck: Colorado Cool Aid
Roy Carrier & the Night Rockers: Whiskey Drinkin' Man
George Jones: If Drinkin' Don't Kill Me (Her Memory Will)
Eddie Rabbitt: Drinkin' My Baby (Off My Mind)
George Thorogood & The Destroyers: If You Don't Start Drinkin' (I'm Gonna Leave)
American Dog: I Keep Drinkin' (You're Still Ugly)
Tracey Byrd: 10 Rounds with Jose Cuervo
Grace Knight: Drinkin Again
Chris DeBurgh: Moonlight and Vodka

7Nations - Whiskey in the Jar
Great Big Sea - Old Black Rum

George Thorogood & The Destoyers - I Drink Alone

George Thorogood & The Destroyers - One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer
Jimmy Buffett - Margaritaville

Charlie Daniels - Drinkin' My Baby Goodbye
Pink Floyd - Comfortably Numb

Big Bad Voodoo Daddy - You and Me and the Bottle make Three (tonight)

Maria McKee - Drinking in My Sunday Dress

Garth Brooks & George Jones - Beerrun

unknown - Jose Cuervo
Allanah Myles - Black Velvet
Jimmy Buffet - The Wino & I Know
John Michael Montgomery - Beer & Bones
Brooks & Dunn - Whiskey Under the Bridge
Neil Diamond - Love On The Rocks
Jim Croce - Time in a Bottle
Willie Nelson - Whiskey River
Carlos Santana /w Rob Thomas - Smooth
John Anderson - Straight Tequila Night
Jerry Jeff Walker - Sangria Wine
Jerry Jeff Walker - Backsliders Wine
Rupert Everett - The Pina Coloda Song
Jimmy Buffet - Boat Drinks
Jimmy Buffet - God's Own Drunk

Tonight's playlist is from SilverBlue,

Tonight's playlist is from SilverBlue, Madfish Willie's very own Virtual Disc Jockey. It is titled The Drinking My Blues Away CD

Tonight's playlist, includes, but is not limited to:

1. Ring On My Finger, Time On My Hands - Reba McEntire
2. Promises - Randy Travis
3. The Chill of An Early Fall - George Strait
4. Watch Me - Lorrie Morgan
5. Maybe It Was Memphis - Pam Tillis
6. Strawberry Wine - Deanna Carter
7. If Loving You Is Wrong (I Don't Wanna Be Right) - Barbara Mandrell
8. Rocky Top - Osborne Brothers
9. Stranger In My House - Ronnie Milsap
10. Carolina Mountain Dewe - Alabama
11. His Greatest Need - Wynonna
12. Neon Moon - Brooks & Dunn
13. The Dance - Garth Brooks
14. Men - The Forester Sisters
15. Fist City - Loretta Lynn
16. Rose Garden - Lynn Anderson
17. Tear In My Beer - Hank Williams Jr.
18. If You Want To Find Love - Kenny Rogers
19. Always On My Mind - Willie Nelson
20. I Will Always Love You - Dolly Parton

Cheers!

Tonight's playlist is from Madfish

Tonight's playlist is from Madfish Willie himself. Enjoy!

1. Have a Drink on Me - AC/DC 2. Rocky Raccoon - The Beatles 3. Eli's Coming - Three Dog Night 4. Gloria - Van Morrison 5. American Woman - Lenny Kravitz 6. Turn the Page - Bob Seger 7. Would I Lie to You? - Eurythmics 8. If You Don't Know Me by Now - Simply Red 9. Son of a Preacher Man - Dusty Springfield 10. I'd Have to Be Crazy - Willie Nelson

Tonight's playlist is from SilverBlue,

Tonight's playlist is from SilverBlue, Madfish Willie's very own Virtual Disc Jockey.

SilverBlue sometimes records a CD for his personal enjoyment and he posts his music selections to his blog. From what I can tell, the man has an eclectic taste in music - a little bit of the best of everything - all for our listening pleasure.

Tonight's playlist, includes, but is not limited to:

1. The Hideway - Fifth Dimension
2. What Kind of Fool - Barbra Streisand & Barry Gibb
3. On The Radio - Donna Summer
4. Money Changes Everything - Cyndi Lauper
5. Union of the Snake - Duran Duran
6. Missionary Man - Eurythmics
7. Make A Move On Me - Olivia Newton-John
8. How Am I Supposed To Live Without You - Laura Branigan
9. I'll Be Here Where The Heart Is - Kim Carnes
10. Every Time You Go Away - Paul Young
11. What Have I Done To Deserve This? - Pet Shop Boys & Dusty Springfield
12. What's Love Got To Do With It (Second Hand Emotion Mix) - Tina Turner
13. Everything She Wants (Everything! mix) - Wham!
14. Twilight World (Radio Edit) - Swing Out Sister
15. When Doves Cry - Prince & The Revolution
16. Sugar Don't Bite - Sam Harris
17. True (Stretching The Truth mix) - Spandau Ballet

Wedding toasts: A toast to

Wedding toasts: A toast to the newlyweds may be proposed by the best man or maid of honor, or anyone else wishing to do so. (as long as the MC has been advised beforehand).

Love and Marriage Toasts
"Here's to love,
The only fire against which there is no insurance."

"May we kiss whom we please,
And please whom we kiss."

"Here's to the wings of love,
May they never moult a feather
Till your little shoes and my big boots
Are under the bed together."

"I have known many,
Liked a few,
Loved one,
Here's to you!"

"Here's to one and only one,
And may that one be thee
Who loves but one and only one,
And may that one be me."

"Here's to matrimony...
The high sea for which no compass has yet been invented."

"If the ocean were a goblet
And all its salt seas wine,
I would drink it to you darlin',
Ere you cross the foamy brine;
For then you couldn't cross it,
But would have to stay on land
Till the walkin' should get better,
And we'd cross it hand in hand."

"Here's to a kiss:
Give me a kiss, and to that kiss add a score,
Then to that add a hundred more;
A thousand to that hundred, and so kiss on,
To make that thousand quite a million.
Treble that million, and when that is done,
Let's kiss afresh as though we'd just begun."

"May we have those in our arms
That we love in our hearts."

"Here's to those that love us,
And here's to those that don't,
A smile for those who are willing to,
And a tear for those who won't."
Cheers!

So you wanna cure a

So you wanna cure a hangover? I found this article a few months ago, and want to share it with you, while giving the appropriate credit the anonymous author(s) at soyouwanna.com

This article has five different sections:
1. Understand what alcohol does to your body.
2. Prepare for the night out.
3. Know what to do while you're drinking.
4. Survive the morning after.
5. Quaff our ultimate hangover cure.

Quaff The Ultimate Hangover Cure

Here it is: the fruit of all our painstaking research, The Almighty Hangover Emergency Cure. While the ingredients in this kit are based on hard science and not personal mythology, it must be said that there really is no cure for a hangover in the same sense that penicillin is a cure for an infection. There are several things, however, that you can put into your body to ease the pain and assist rapid recovery, including a little-known substance called cysteine. Cysteine directly counteracts the poisonous effects of acetaldehyde. The following arsenal-in-a-milkshake is so loaded with the anti-toxic munitions your body needs, that after it makes short work of your hangover, it might just clear out your nasal passages, shrink your hemorrhoids, and leap out of your body and write your History term paper. Behold the official SoYouWanna.com Almighty Hangover Emergency Cure (patent pending):

1. Take 2 aspirins
2. Take 200mg cysteine (available at specialty food stores)
3. Take 600mg vitamin C
4. Take 1 tablet vitamin B-complex
5. Mix the following ingredients together in a blender:

• 1 banana


• 1 small can V-8


• 6 large strawberries


• 2 tablespoons honey


• 1 cup orange juice


• 1-2 cups milk (or soy milk), to desired consistency


• Â1/4 tsp. salt


• dash of nutmeg

6. Drink it all up.
If necessary, follow up with a dose of Maalox, lots of Gatorade, and bouillon soup for dinner. These ingredients will rehydrate your body, replace essential vitamins and minerals, and help rid your body of some of the toxic byproducts of metabolized alcohol.

For a headache that drugs don't seem to touch, try an icepack or a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a tea towel, 20 minutes on your head, 10 minutes off. There've been lots of hangover remedies over the centuries, from the Assyrian crushed swallows' beaks with myrrh to Rabbit Dropping Tea (though we think that it tastes a little raisin-y). Friends of ours have suggested everything from club soda to the classic Bull's Eye (OJ and a raw egg) to pickle brine straight from the pickle jar. But if you're looking for something substantial that actually prevents vomiting, invest in the necessary pills and keep your blender handy; the Almighty Hangover Emergency Cure, judiciously combined with the wise drinking practices detailed above, is for you.


Cheers!

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« Tell em to shut up!


» by Madfish Willie on October 11 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Other Crap

I worked in the

I worked in the nightclub and restaurant business for right at 20 years. I started at the bottom and worked my way up. I worked as a part time-doorman, barback, bartender, Bar Manager, Assistant Manager, General Manager, Area Supervisor, Quality Control (IG) Inspector, and Director of Operations. I worked in 1,500 sq ft neighbohood joints with jukebox entertainment, mid-size clubs with recorded music and dancing, 25,000 sq ft Country Western Dance Halls with racetrack style dance-floors, and 40,000 sq ft multi-concept Entertainment Complexes with live music. I've booked all types of live music with my favorite being the Classic Concert Series with old rock bands still touring the nightclub circuits. I worked in a Cajun Cafe many of you have probably heard of and possibly eaten at, if you are in a major metropolitan area in Texas. Hell, you've probably been in one of my nightclubs if you are over 25 - might have even seen each other!

I ran every kind of promotion under the sun trying to increase traffic counts and sales. I want to incorporate some of those promotional into this blog to keep it entertaining and fresh, but more about that later.

Primarily, I want this blog to be like dropping in at the corner bar for a couple of cold ones on the way home. I have some ideas on how I want to acheive that atmosphere. I'll talk about drinking, throwing up, beer, whiskey, movies, music, beer, other bars & restaurants, sports, tv (because I want to), beer, tell some jokes, and finally... more beer. Two things we won't talk about, just like two things we don't talk about in bars: Religion & Politics. Starts a fight every time. Besides there are plenty of other places you can discuss those topics, starting with the links on my sidebar. I will also talk about Yellow Dog and Harold (Hey, this is my site) and maybe some cool guy stuff like power tools and cars and stuff.

I have some ideas for weekly satire, trivia contests, holiday parties and pics, and maybe some fund-raising benefits. If you have anything you'd like to see, let me know. If I like it and it doesn't cost too much, we'll do it. After all, you are The Customer!

Wish me luck on my new journey and drop by for some Beers and Bullshittin'â„¢!

Cheers!