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Scattershooting...

My cat Harold is housebroken. He runs outside to make a poop. No nasty litter boxes to clean up. How cool is that? He looks like a holstein milk cow - black spots on white body. Except his nose... that has a little brown patch on it... it looks like he has been out burying a bone or something in the dirt like a dog and then covering it up with his nose.

Has anybody beside me ever seen the movie Evil Roy Slade? I saw that when I was in high school. I laughed my ass off. As a baby, his family was headed west in a wagon train. The wagon train was attacked by Indians and everyone killed or taken away or something. The only one left was this baby in a diaper. The Indians took one look at the baby and ran away. Next, the wolves came. They took one look at the baby and ran away. So, he grows up all alone out on the prairie in his diaper. Cut to several years later... Evil Roy Slade, fully grown and still wearing his diaper, is wondering around in the fields, stumbles over something, walks up to a big bunch of prickley pear cactus and KICKS it! Bwahahaha!

Go over and check SithMonkey's new blog. Me and Darth Monkeybone grew up in the same boys home... he was there a couple of years after I graduated... but we share a common "heritage". We were over at the Misha's chatroom on week-end night several months ago and through the course of discussion, figured out what we had in common. It's a small world after all.

Hehe... don't buy any shit from these dumbfucks! Be sure to read the comments, too. I wonder why they did initial caps on all but the last word?

Has anyone heard of any others bloggers in San Antonio? I know a bunch in Houston and Dallas and a couple in Austin... what about the rest of Texas? Just wondering is all.

Looky here! I found this picture of Harvey!

Something I've noticed on some TV series, they never have any lights on... I mean no one works in the dark like that. Check SCI, CSI:Miami, there are some others but I can't remember them off the top of my head. Those CSI people are always working in the fucking dark... every indoor crime scene is investigated with the lights off... even in the office they don't have any lights... how much crap do they miss because they won't flip a fucking light switch?

When I was growing up, we grew, killed and processed a lot of our meat. I have butchered cows, pigs and chickens. A cow gets herded into a squeeze chute with a slanted concrete wall on one side and a metal gate on the other. The slanted wall has a purpose. Then, they get shot in the head by a thingy with a powder load that explodes a steel rod into the cows brain. That sack of dead cow meat then falls like a fucking rock and the slanted wall make it slide under the chute gate. It'll knock you on your ass if you're in the way too. Then, hang the cow up by his back feet, slit its' throat and bleed it out. Then, cut off feet, cut off head, save brains for tests, slice open belly, pull out guts, slice off hide, cut in half, hang in the freezer. Simple as pie. Cleaning up afterward was really fucked up though - nasty business!

One time we had this giant milk cow that was so fucking mean... her ear tag number was #1185... NO ONE could milk her... not even me and my buddy (we had to milk all the cows that kicked everyone else's ass)... we were milking by hand twice a day back then... she was 6' at the pin bones so most kids couldn't see their milking partner over her back... she had real long legs, duh... when she decided to kick, there was no way in hell you could block her kick... she fucked EVERYBODY up... we tried tying her legs with a rope and two or three kids holding the rope... we tried metal leg shackles... try putting those on any cow, much less a giant legged asskicking machine - Fuck!... since we couldn't milk her, she got mastitis in her udder... that's some nasty shit... you would never drink milk again if you saw it... anyway, we had to finally end up butchering her... she was too fucking long to hang up and weighed too much... had to get a special hanger to do the job.

Next week: killing chickens!
After that: milking cows!


» by Madfish Willie on April 4 :: Permalink :: Comments (0) :: Other Crap

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