Drinking in stereo
Boozing with a drink in each hand.

So, what do you call Matty O'Blacfive who's also one in each hand, one in each foot, and 2 in a Foam Dome?

Keg Commander...last kegger I attended, I headbutted the Keg Commander....broke his nose, but he let me pour my own damn beer after that...and, more importantly, he let my WIFE pour hers as well...lecherous bastard..

Bartender?
BARTENDER!

Need another round over here! A bored customer is a cranky customer.

Don't make me tell the CotBG that you left the place unguarded again. I hope you haven't forgotten what happened last time...

/me hops the bar and grabs the Frangelico for the ladies in the house

"Shush boys, he'll never miss it.

"And quit staring at that big bottle of Galliano, Harvey -- you're a married man!"

Well, Bartender, I warned you. Looks like it's open season on the top shelf...

My, My. Is that a bottle of Rumple Minz i spy?

I've got the dibs on the Harvey's Bristol Cream Sherry!!!! Ooooh--and this Irish Creme Liquer is mine too!

Second trimester... no liquor... but the beer nuts are all mine! MINE MINE MINE. And then I'm gonna move onto the pretzels! And the honey roasted nuts! And the mints! And the chips! And then I'm gonna hop over the bar and take over the ice cream! YEAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

Careful, Dana, or you'll have to strangle yourself...

Wonder if I can pull the Spice channel in on the Champagne Room's big screen...

First I gotta find out if I can get all the way around the room by jumping from one piece of furniture to the next.

How come I'm always late to the party? Hey are there any 'Rita's here? I know - sissy drink - but I have to go back to work when I'm done... I'll leave all the non-liquor stuff for Dana, she needs to eat for 2 right now *G*.

Maybe liquor will help my brain work better... I see an experiment in the making!

Look! a pool table! if I take off my clothes and start swimming...
Harvey, please move those balls...they're impeding my breast stroke...

Hey, if the 'tender's gone, there's really nothing to STOP us from having sex in the Champagne Room, now, is there?

I can't believe I missed the party!

Bartender, get your butt back here or face the consequences. Remember what happened to Acidman???? Mee-ow! Heh Heh Heh....

Ya know, I been waiting for you guys. Everytime I stuck my head in here though, nobody was around.

Or maybe Harv finally got Playboy TV on in the Champagne Room....

DAMN! I knew I shoulda checked the back before I left last time. Fer crissakes, look what DANA'S proposing!

Better watch Dana - I think the Beer Nuts went to her head!

Hey Susie, how many laps are you gonna do on the pool table?

Better question: WHAT is Susie going to be lapping on that pool table.

Allow me to help with the stroking of the breasts, Susie... and I thought you liked my balls right where they were?

Hey Mike! Can you spray a little beer on the ladies? If there's anything I can't stand, it's a dry T-shirt.

/me puts 2 quarters on the edge of the pool table

"I'm next up for a dip with Susie!"

Don't waste good beer on making t-shirts un-dry!

Use Zima.

Hey, nobody's gonna drink it, and you get the same visual effect. God... why does the Bartender even stock this stuff, anyway?....

Oh no - more Zima!!! I thought we only found that at Darren's place.

All this exercise makes a girl thirsty...is there any Dom Perignon left?

Dammit Dana, won't you do another Iowa Dean imitation for us? I wanna down this here double-shot of tequila right when you blow yer load!

Anybody want tha worm?

Whose panties are these?

If I ever decided to blow my load in the middle of the Champagne Room, I can guarantee you tequila would be the very last thing on your mind. ;)

[grabbing panties from Trey]
It's strictly a comfort thing.

Anyway what's Dana going to be blowing and where does the line start?

Hey Mike! Does the Bartender have any Reddi-Wip in that little fridge? Don't ask why I need it, just throw it over here.

Anybody needs me, I'll be in the Champagne room.

Where are the Buttery Nipples?
And while I'm waiting, I'll have a drink too.
(Don't be showing me any pictures of Janet for that, I like my liquor not quite so hard.)

Hey Mike! While you're in the fridge, see if you can find some butter for LeeAnn. Her perkies need greasin' up.

At least I *think* that's what she meant.

LeeAnn!! I'm Shocked and AWED... anyone up for a Redheaded Slut?

Harvey, not quite... my perkies (I love that one) are adequately lubed.
And Eric, the sun is past the yardarm, so of course I've already had my daily requirement of Redheaded Slut.
Blow Jobs, btw, are dessert material.

I'll be right back, I'm gonna run to Wal-Mart and buy us a Slip-and-Slide.. no point in letting all that Reddi-Whip go to waste.

I think the Barkeep's gonna hafta re-felt the pool table....

..someone turn the fan on, it's getting awfully hot in here...

Can't let it get too hot, the edible undies will melt. Again.

Hey, I was rummaging around in the storage closet, looking for the olive oil for the Slip-n-Slide, and I found this Robin costume. Two questions: whose is it, and who's Batman?

... Matt? Batman is yours, right?... where's the line start for the slip-n-slide?...

..if those knickers melt again, LeeAnn, we'll mix a little vodka with them... what would that drink be called?

Eric- A Sweet and Sour Pussy, of course.... silly man.
Dana- When you find Batman, check out the utility belt, it's niiiiiiiice.

Look! A Spiderman costume, too!

All right, which of you ladies has been a bad, bad criminal who needs to be bound tightly in the unbreakable grip of my web?

By the way [chew, chew] these edible undies taste a lot like cotton... although there's a certain hint of something familiar and delicious.

It's not corn, is it?

Good Kee-rist Harv... (snatches panties). Those belong to Evil Glenn's girlfriend! You're gonna need shots!

No... not the vodka kind... put those down...

No, I DON'T know why the Bartender has Evil Glenn's girlie's panties under the bar... but then I'm finding all kinda crazy stuff under here... Anybody know where the pin to this grenade went? I think I heard it slide under the jukebox...

Here, try this

Marty's Willy Nilly Martini, (aka The Mafish Willie Nillie):

1 part Stoli Vanilla Vodka
1 part Kahlua

Shake furiously over ice, and strain into martini glass

Serve liberally to teenage girls...

LeeAnn - I thought your undies were invisible.

Marty, no teenage girls are allowed here, it's disheartening to the more seasoned women in the room!

Now, who has Batman's utility belt???

...I think I threw my back out on the slip-n-slide... pour me a double.. you ladies are HARD on us old guys...

As long as you're hard in return, eric...that's all we ask...

I should add that the Madfish Willie Nillie is equally effective on the freewheelings MILF's who frequent the Champagne Room...

Fatty Sue's panties? GAH! I need some disinfectant! Toss me that bottle of 190 Vodka, Mike.... Thanks.

[glug, glug, glug]

AHHHH! I feel cleaner already.

What an awful feeling...

Susie! Come here and make me feel dirty again!

Hard? *perk*

>:( Damnit, I'm always LATE for everything! (stupid snow!) Now everyone's ready to leave and here I am still sober. I'm NOT going to be the designated-blogger today, folks.

Somebody hit me with a Schlitz.

Apparently I'm less lucent than I thought...that last brain fart without a name was mine.

I'll excuse myself to the worn out-out pool table now. I come bringing tidings of disinfectant and joy.

..you know it, Susie... I ain't THAT old....

Eric, you know it's not the years... it's the mileage that counts.

Tiffany, I got better than Schlitz... have a Buttery Nipple.

that's right, LeeAnn.. and Baby, I've got some SERIOUS mileage.... awwww, fuckit.. gimme a buttery nipple, andI'll hit the slip-n-slide again.... your have STIRRED me, miss... must be that cheesy smell that's got me revv'd..

Buttery Nipple? Hmm, would that be the signature drink of the "Bloggers With Boobies?" If so, give me 3.

I really can't think of a better party trick than Tiffany showing us her third nipple, buttery or not.

/me is waving Mardi Gras beads at you hunny....

damn good idea, Marty! I know the barkeep has a whole drawer full of N'Awlins beads around here... line up, ladies!

Tiffany's doing a GREAT job of earning her beads, but I only see 2 nipples...

...actually, I'm seeing 4 now...

...how much of that 190 vodka did I drink?

... 4 of the cutest nipples I've ever seen, though...

Oooooh...beads....shiny. *hic!*

Ooooh, I'd give a good shimmy or two for some beads!

Am I fashionably late?

Would the Bartender happen to have a supply of Sprite in the house? If so, could somebody toss me one?

Oh, and since I'm not drinking, I'm available as the DD. Anybody need a ride home?

hey Maniak, did ya bring your guitar? Give us some "Sweet Home Alabama" while Tiffany and LeeAnn "earn" their beads!

LeeAnn, doesn't that HURT when you mash them together like that?

Laps around pool(table). Buttery nipples. Shimmying. I have GOT to start checking the calendar over the weekends. Somehow I'm always the last to arrive. Everyone's already drunk and now I have to catch up. On the plus side, everyone's had so much that I won't have to share the homebrew. Uh, except for Susie. Pissing off the Alliance webmistress isn't high on my list of things to do. She'll be getting her beer sometime today. Hopefully she'll pop the top here at the Bartender's.
Hey Harvey! Have we graduated from beer to tequila shots already?

Nah, Eric, they're like jello with a pulse. I wanted them to be like Silly Putty so I could squish them on the comics page and pick up the pictures on 'em, but you takes what you gots and deal, right?
*shimmy*

Got it right here, Eric. Though I'm afraid everybody may bolt for the door when they hear the combination of my awful singing voice and my awful playing.

*AHEM*

Sweet home Alabama,
Where the skies are so blue,
Sweet home Alabama,
Lord I'm comin' home to you.

*TWANG* Dammit! Broke a string. Anybody happen to carry around any extra guitar string when they go out? And where's my Sprite?

Shh! Quiet down there! Why is it so loud in here? And what's with all the lights?

Geez...my head's spinning--hey, give me back my drink!

*whew*... ladies, y'all amaze me... buttery nipples, Skynyrd tunes, body shots, shimmyin' breasts... lord, someone shoot me now, cuz I've seen the promised land, and it is Madfish Willie's on a Tuesday night..

FREEBIRD!!!!!

Oooh! Are we doing karaoke now? *hic!* Who wants to join me for a chorus of "Dancing *hic!* Queen"?

I don't know about singing, but someone throw me some beads!

Somebody please get me an alka seltzer...and ask that midget to get off the jukebox!

hM - I don't have a guitar string, but I've got a g-string. Don't really remember where it came from, though. Hope it's not Trey's.

Susie - I've got a midget for your jukebox. Mheh :-)

LeeAnn - and just what, exactly, is wrong with pulsing jello?

Physics Geek - I was going to do some tequila shots earlier, but apparently someone took all the shot glasses & built a scale model of the Alamo with 'em. Pretty impressive.

Dana - since you're not drinking, why don't you make me a sandwich? You can be the bottom slice of bread.

Who wants to be the lettuce and/or tomato?

And has ANYONE seen Matty O'Blackfive? Tiffany! Check under your boobs!

Harvey - Oh, nonononono... with this burgeoning belly, no way I'm going to be the *bottom* slice of bread. I'll be on top, though. ;)

Ok, Dana, bottom it is. I guess we'll have to make this an open face sandwich.

I got the face. You open.

Hey Mike! Is there a jar of Miracle Whip in that little fridge?

Oh, and was anyone surprised that Dana got comment #69?

Naughty little vixen ;-)

lol!!! That was too funny.

I brought the ketchup! I also brought some relish and mustard and onions.

I'm so going to be stylin' in my wonderwoman underoos in about five seconds.

LOOK OUT!

Trey, you've already managed to make me want to cry with the fact that your smokin' hot and, like a good deal of cute men, gay. Please don't make it any worse by showin' off your bod.

Would anyone like to hear the Maniak's version of Fur Elise? The one where Elise get's her head chopped off?

*Flings arms dramatically in the air and shouts* I am the master of Beethoven! Bow before me! Mwahahaha!

And where the hell is my Sprite already?!?!?

the Maniak has lost it... better find that damn Sprite... and QUICK!

aww hell, *jumping over the bar*...

...here's a sprite, baby sister, seein' as the Tender ain't around, I'm getting my OWN Scotch and Water.. anyone want something while I'm back here?

Thank you Eric. That's all I really wanted. If anybody needs me I'm going to be over in the corner trying to massage the feeling back into my finger tips. And laughing at everybody who's getting drunk.

Harvey! Trey! Must you both be performing a strip show to "It's Raining Men" on the pool table?

I'll come clean. The Robin costume is mine--and sadly I'll have to break all your hearts by saying that the Dynamic Duo is in fact NOT ambiguously gay. Come forth, Batman, and tell these drunken revelers who you be.

Sorry, Harv, no Matty under my boobs, but...hmm, what's this? Cool! It's that fiver I've been looking for all night...I've really got to stop stuffing cash into my bra.

Mimosa anyone?

eric - I'll take a virgin strawberry daiquiri. Hmmm, now that I think of it, that'll be only the second virgin I've ever had!

coming right up, Dana...you want the cherry on top?

put yer money away, Tiffany, it's no good here... I'm Tendin', and its ALL free.. although.. if you don't mind, can I watch you put it BACK under there?

Harv! Get off that pool table, and help me out over here! the COTBB's are gettin' thirsty, and I only got two hands!

Who tore the slip-n-slide? Damn. Well, I can back my car up to the door and we can fill the trunk with mud if anyone's interested...

oooh, Tiffany, I used to be the middle-weight mud wrestling champeen back in the old country.
Let the betting start!

Mmmmmm cherrrrriessssss!!!

I'm all for the mud-rasslin, as long as I don't have to get pitted against Heather. She'd beat my ass (and not in a fun way).

*still wonderin "Who's Batman?"*

Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
Que tu cuerpo es pa' darle alegria y cosa buena
Dale a tu cuerpo alegria Macarena
HEY MACARENA!

Wooooooo!!!

C'mon over here, hM, baby, and sit on papi's lap. I'll tell you all about the glory of fountain Sprite with LIME!

*crowd gasps*

Once again, I prove I am far to radical for mainstream consumption. Bleedin' edge, baby!

Woooooo!!!

Someone queue up the Ketchup song on the Karaoke machine!

Asereje ja de je de jebe tu de jebere seibiunouva,
Majavi an de bugui an de buididipi...

*shakes it like a polaroid picture*

Barkeep! Get out the black coffee! *slings mud at LeeAnn* We've got a lush on our hands!

...and I'll be taking that polaroid picture, buddy. I plan on having a political career someday.

I still think Matty's Batman. Why else wouldn't he be here?

Hey Tiffany, before you jump in the mud, ya mind if I sniff that fiver for a little while?

And Eric, I think we'll leave it up to the LADIES to decide if I should stop the pool table dancing duo routine. Trey's better looking, but I'm better at the not gay part.

Ladies, pick your fantasy.

Hey, did I just see the Bartender's car drive by?

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