Fax for Harvey...

Herbey walked into a bar and started dialling numbers on his hand as if it were a phone.

Madfish Willie looked at him warily, "Look," warned Madfish, "I don't know what you're up to, but this is a tough neighbourhood and I don't want any trouble."

Herbey said: "I'm not out to cause trouble, I promise. Let me explain. I'm very hi-tech and I had a phone installed in my hand because I got tired of carrying around my mobile."

Madfish Willie looked at him as if he were a crank, "I don't believe a word of it."

"OK," said Herbey, "I'll prove it to you," And he pressed the digits on his hand, held his wrist up to his ear and began conducting a conversation. Then he gave his hand to Madfish and, to Madfish's amazement, he could hear a voice coming through the hand.

"That's incredible," said Madfish at the end of the call. "I was able to talk to someone through your hand."

"It's ingenious," said Herbey. "It means I can keep in touch with my broker, my wife, anyone, without needing a conventional phone. By the way, where is the men's room?"

Madfish Willie directed him down the corridor to the toilets but began to get a bit worried when Herbey hadn't returned 20 minutes later. Knowing of the reputation of the neighbourhood, he thought he'd better go and check that he was all right. On opening the door, he found Herbey spreadeagled against the wall, with his pants down and a roll of toilet paper rammed up his butt. "Oh God," exclaimed Madfish. "Did they rob you? Are you hurt?"

"No, I'm fine," answered Herbey. "I'm just waiting for a fax."