After Your Fifth Drink....

For your entertainment today, I have a funny list of stuff that happens after your fifth drink. I can't remember where I grabbed this from, therefore I cannot give the proper credits. If you've seen it somewhere else, let me know.

Which one is Harvey today?

Numbers 21-40 of 207:

21. The glass isn’t half empty or half full. It just needs to be topped off.


22. You don’t fall off the wagon—you leap off it while chugging a bottle of cheap bourbon.


23. You have two personalities: Mr. Responsibility and Mr. I-Think-I’ll-Call-All-My-Old-Girlfriends-While-I'm-Blacked-Out.


24. The word "rent" loses all meaning after your fifth drink.


25. You’re so good at "drinking to forget" that you sometimes forget how to walk.


26. Whenever someone in a suit spills your well bourbon it magically transforms into top shelf scotch on the way to the floor.


27. You laugh at funerals but weep like a baby whenever you hear about a beer truck overturning.


28. You’d rather be a bus driver than an astronaut because, hey, there ain’t no beer where they’re going.


29. You don’t mind when your wife finds you stinking drunk in a bar, because then you can hit her up for a free drink.


30. Pink elephants get drunk and they see you.


31. You can get drunk on Scotch tape.


32. You’re not a hard drinker. It’s the easiest thing you do.


33. You like to have a drink between drinks.


34. You’d join AA but your always too drunk too memorize the pledge.


35. Your sleep number is 151 . . . proof.


36. You quit drinking once, and it was the worst afternoon of your life.


37. You won’t eat an olive unless it’s sterilized in gin.


38. You think Beethoven’s Fifth is a bottle of schnapps.


39. You’re living a champagne lifestyle on a beer budget. Except you don’t like champagne so you just drink lots and lots of beer.


40. Gin rummy sounded like a fun game.