After Your Fifth Drink....

For your entertainment today, I have a funny list of stuff that happens after your fifth drink. I can't remember where I grabbed this from, therefore I cannot give the proper credits. If you've seen it somewhere else, let me know.

See if you can pick which one is Harvey!

Numbers 1-20 of 207:

  1. After your fifth drink, you’re like Don Juan with the ladies: They Don Juan nothing to do with you.

  2. You suspect that water, taken in small quantities, isn’t all that dangerous.

  3. You occasionally have meals with your wine.

  4. You wake up every morning at the crack of ice.

  5. You drink to forget you drink.

  6. You distrust camels, or anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

  7. People get drunk by shaking your hand.

  8. You never eat breakfast on an empty stomach.

  9. Beer is the reason you get up every afternoon.

  10. The only drinking problem you have is the two-hands/one-mouth thing.

  11. Your house is so messy because it spins like a top every time you lie down.

  12. You drink to steady yourself, and sometimes you get so steady you can’t move.

  13. You never walk, you just occasionally stagger in a straight line.

  14. You get angry because there’s always so much booze left at the end of your money.

  15. You think that drunks are a lot like chess players, only drunk.
  16. You forgot your fishing pole on your fishing trip and didn’t notice.

  17. You’ve been laid out on more floors than Johnson’s Wax.

  18. Your liver has hired an attorney.

  19. You wish all the world’s parking lots could be somehow turned into lush rain forests, because, you know, it’s hard to hide from cops in a parking lot.

  20. Your favorite bar installed a seat belt on your barstool.

» by Madfish Willie on January 10 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Funny Stuff

Trackbacks to After Your Fifth Drink....

those are killer, Barkeep...especially #7 and #14...

Posted by: Eric on January 11, 2004 02:09 PM

I confess, I'm all about #1

Posted by: Harvey on January 11, 2004 10:19 PM