Evil Glenn Restaurant Menu

Mad Dog Bad Money Harvey dropped by over at Evil Glenn's crappy little joint called Blender's the other day. Evil Glenn just added on a little "gourmet" restaurant, so Harvey swiped a menu. I sure hope he didn't order anything off of it, although with Harvey, ya never know!

Here are 21 Personal Favorite Foods items on Evil Glenn's restaurant menu:

  • Sautéed Guadalupe Fur Seal grilled to perfection in a Musk-Ox Oil

  • Boneless Marinated Numbfish simmered in an Endospore Swill

  • Stir-Fried Screech Owl

  • Steamed Mud Eel Wedges wrapped in Untanned Rawhide

  • Caramelized Neck of Whooping Crane

  • Barbecued Pygmy Hippo Riblets

  • Breaded Filet-o-Bottle-Nosed Dolphin seasoned in a Salt Marsh Brine Broth

  • Batter-Dipped Segmented Earthworms

  • Char-Grilled Pandaburger with a side order of Cartilage Chips and Pond Scum Slaw

  • Crispy Bollweevil Skins served with a liquefied Elm Bark Beetle Dipping Sauce

  • Smoked Tenderloin Mule Shank in a tangy Cactus Gravy

  • Boiled Camel Hump... a la mode

  • Stewed Dorsal Fin garnished with Shedded Scales

  • Minced Otter Pelt over a bed of mashed, fleshy Tuberous Root

  • Glazed Walrus Blubber Loaf

  • Kentucky Fried Pigeon

  • Creamed Gastropod Surprise

  • Poached Bald Eaglet Yoke-Sac sprinkled with Ragwort and topped with a zesty Duckweed Dressing

  • Extra-Chewy Tadpole Taffy

  • Prairie Dog-kabob

  • Fermented Chum Shake

That fucking Evil Glenn! He will kill and eat anything - endangered species, exotic species, it doesn't matter. And the nastier the better... I mean... segmented earthworms?

Tomorrow, I'll tell you about Evil Glenn's newest part-time job!


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Bullshitters

I confess, I had the Pandaburger to go, and ate it at a PeTA meeting.

Heh. You shoulda seen it :-)

Posted by: Harvey on December 1, 2003 10:23 AM

Well, since you ate it at a PETA meeting, Harv, I guess it's OK...

Posted by: Linda on December 1, 2003 03:31 PM

Well, since you ate it at a PETA meeting, Harv, I guess it's OK...

Posted by: Linda on December 1, 2003 03:34 PM

It is a good thing there wasn't any Tiger on the menu or Glenn might have seen the inside of one. ;)

Posted by: Tiger on December 1, 2003 08:45 PM

Hey, gimme some of that bottle-nose. Two of my goals in life is to eat a dolphin and to eat a monkey. The dolphin to piss off the Greenpeace crowd, and the monkey because that is as close to cannibalism as I'll go.

Posted by: Phelps on December 2, 2003 09:43 AM

I've seen live Whooping Cranes, and there isn't enough meat on their neck to be worth shooting except for target practice. After carmelizing, there would be barely enough to taste. Only the most decadent and effete would-be Petronius would try to eat them. But why complain about Kentucky Fried Pigeons? In my city we would give a medal to anyone who devised a new way to help rid us of those aerial bombardiers. Glenn is just fighting inter-species terrorism.

Posted by: Ayn Clouter on December 4, 2003 07:57 AM