OK. That does it! Now I gotta kick Harvey's ass and straighten him out a little. He's been hanging around with the pussies at the other end of the bar too fucking long. The gaddamn Corner of the Bar Babes are tougher than he is!
Below you see how Harvey is gonna deal with war-protesters and anti-America assholes. Sit back and watch me fisk the hell out of Harvey and teach him how to deal with a bunch of fucking idiots.
MY NEW WORLD ORDER UNLEASHES A CAN O’WUPASS
Ok, you assgoblin anti-war protesters, I’m gonna give you what you always wanted - I’m going to stifle your dissent, just like the tin-foil-hat-wearing panic-mongers have been claiming would always happen under the EEEEEVIL John Ashcroft. The soon-to-be-passed American Sharia laws will unleash cruel and unusual punishments for your unpatriotic displays:
EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY, PARTICIPATION IN ANY ANTI-WAR PROTEST ACTIVITY WILL RESULT IN PUNISHMENT ACCORDING TO THE FOLLOWING SCHEDULE:
First offense: a dirty look
Second offense: a 5 minute “time out”
Third offense: a stern talking-to
Fourth offense: no dessert
Fifth offense: a 10 o’clock curfew
Sixth offense: sent to your room
Seventh offense: loss of cell phone privileges for 2 days
Eighth offense: When I was your age, I respected my elders!
Ninth offense: Are you listening to me?
Tenth offense: Fine! F*** you! You had your chance! – First, we’re gonna handcuff you to this chair and make you listen to Rush Limbaugh for 96 hours straight, then we’re gonna make you bathe WITHOUT using patchouli oil, then you'll get a haircut, a real job, and you WILL start paying rent, young man!
Eleventh offense: Death by Bulunga!
LOL, Barkeep!
Posted by: Susie on November 28, 2003 08:57 PM