Dictionary for Women’s Personal Ads

This may come in handy the next time you're considering answering that personal ad:

40-ish...........................49
Adventurous.................Slept with everyone
Athletic..........................No boobs
Average looking.............Ugly
Beautiful.......................Pathological liar
Contagious Smile..........Does a lot of pills
Emotionally Secure.......On medication
Feminist........................Fat
Free spirit......................Junkie
Friendship first..............Former slut
Fun.................................Annoying
New-Age......................Body hair in the wrong places
Old fashioned................No BJs
Open-minded.................Desperate
Outgoing......................Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate................Sloppy drunk
Professional....................Bitch
Voluptuous..................Very Fat
Large frame....................Hugely Fat Thighs
Soul mate............Stalker