What Your Car Says About You

What your car says about you:

Acura Integra- I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars

Acura Legend- I'm too bland for German cars

Acura NSX- I am impotent

Audi 90- I enjoy putting out engine fires

Buick Park Avenue- I am older than 34 of the 50 states

Cadillac Eldorado- I am a very good Mary Kay salesman

Cadillac Seville- I am a pimp

Chevrolet Camaro- I enjoy beating up people

Chevrolet Chevette- I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette

Chevrolet Corvette- I'm in a mid-life crisis

Chevrolet El Camino- I am leading a militia to overthrow the government

Chrysler Cordoba- I dig the rich Corinthian leather

Datsun 280Z- I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well

Dodge Dart- I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower

Dodge Daytona- I delivered pizza for four years to get this car

Ford Fairmont- (See Dodge Dart)

Ford Mustang- I slow down to 85 in school zones

Ford Crown Victoria- I enjoy having people slow to 55mph & change lanes when I pull up behind them

Geo Storm- I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.

Geo Tracker- I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.

Honda del Sol- I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all

Honda Civic- I have just graduated and have no credit

Honda Accord- I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.

Infiniti Q45- I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.

Isuzu Impulse- I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.

Jaguar XJ6- I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.

Kia Sephia- I learned nothing from the failure of Diahatsu Corp.

Lincoln Town Car- I live for bingo and covered dish suppers

Mercury Grand Marquis- (See above)

Mercedes 500SL- I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph.

Mercedes 560SEL- I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole.

Mazda Miata- I do not fear being decapitated by an 18-wheeler

MGB- I am dating a mechanic

Mitsubishi Diamante- I don't know what it means either

Nissan 300ZX- I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.

Oldsmobile Cutlass- I just stole this car and I'm going to make a....

Peugeot 505 Diesel- I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List

Plymouth Neon- I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena

Pontiac Trans AM- I have a switchblade in my sock

Porsche 944- I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me

Rolls Royce Silver Shadow- I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal

Saturn SC2- (See Honda Civic)

Subaru Legacy- I have always wanted a Japanese car even more

Toyota Camry- I am still in the closet

Volkswagon Beetle- I still watch Partridge Family reruns

Volkswagon Cabriolet- I am out of the closet

Volkswagon Microbus- I am tripping right now

Volvo 740 Wagon- I am frightened of my wife

ยป by Madfish Willie on October 2 :: Permalink :: Comments (5) :: Jokes

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They don't have one frickin' mini-van on there. Know why? Because mini-vans SCREAM, "You're nothin' but an asexual Mom person! Your life is over!"

Nah, I don't have issues. *grin*

Posted by: Boudicca on October 2, 2004 09:56 PM

Come on, Bou, don't be so hard on yourself.

*I'd* fuck ya ;-)

Posted by: Harvey on October 3, 2004 09:57 AM

Herbey - go fuck yourself!

Posted by: Madfish Willie on October 3, 2004 02:21 PM

That's only because I have boobies, Harv! *grin*

Posted by: Boudicca on October 3, 2004 02:52 PM

Gee. No trucks or Jeeps on the list either. Does that mean we're unclassifiable?

Or do we fall under the general "Redneck" category?

Posted by: GEBIV on October 3, 2004 04:58 PM