The "Perfect Day" for Her:
8:15AM Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30AM Weigh in 5 lbs. lighter than yesterday
8:45AM Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed OJ & croissants.
9:15AM Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00AM Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30AM Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00PM Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe.
12:45PM Notice ex-boyfriend's wife, she has gained 30 lbs.
1:00PM Shopping with friends, unlimited credit.
3:00PM Nap.
4:00PM 3 dozen roses delivered by florist from secret admirer.
4:15PM Light workout at club, followed by gentle massage.
5:30PM Pick out outfit for dinner, primp before the mirror.
7:30PM Candlelight dinner for two followed by dancing.
10:00PM Hot shower.
10:30PM Make love.
11:00PM Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11:15PM Fall asleep in his big strong arms.
6:00AM Alarm.
6:15AM Blowjob.
6:30AM Massive dump while reading sports section of USA Today.
7:00AM Breakfast, filet mignon & eggs, toast & coffee.
7:30AM Limo arrives.
7:45AM Stoli Bloody Mary en route to airport.
8:15AM Private jet to Augusta, Georgia (coffee, SI & WSJ)
9:30AM Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45AM Front nine at Augusta (2 under).
11:45AM Lunch, 2 dozen oysters on the half shell, 3 Heinekens.
2:15PM Blowjob.
2:15PM Back nine at Augusta (4 under).
2:30PM Limo back to airport (Bombay martini, shaken, 2 olives).
3:15PM Private jet, Augusta to Nassau, Bahamas (nap).
4:30PM Land World Record light tackle Marlin (1249 lbs.)
5:00PM Private jet back home (blowjob at 30,000 feet).
6:45PM Shit, shower and shave.
7:00PM Watch CNN, Clinton resigns, Hillary animal video authenticated.
7:30PM Dinner, lobster appetizers, Dom Perignon (1963), 20 oz. New York Steak.
9:00PM Remy Martin and Cuban Cohiba cigar.
9:30PM Sex with three women (at least 2 are bi).
11:00PM Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45PM Bed (alone).
11:50PM 12 second, 4 note fart, dog leaves room.
11:55PM Sleep.
You've been reading my mind.
Posted by: Mamamontezz on September 29, 2004 12:01 PMOK, of the joke list of a woman's day, I am definitely big on the notice the ex-boyfriend's wife gained 30 lbs. All over that one.
And I'm surprised on the man's joke list that the blowjob didn't occur on the airplane. :)
Posted by: Boudicca on September 29, 2004 04:56 PMWell, last time I checked I was all-girl but I'm look at HIS list and thinking - hey, that's not a bad day!
Maybe I need one of those Estrogen patches.
Posted by: Elizabeth on September 29, 2004 10:39 PM[volunteers to give Elizabeth a blowjob]
Posted by: Harvey on September 29, 2004 11:26 PM