The Lush Lexicon

Buzzwords for Boozeheads

Hey, slop jaw, quit boozgarting the felony juice so we can finish frontloading and get our fade on.


You should be. Bar slang is constantly evolving and if you fall behind you'll start coming off like Al Gore trying to get down at Ol' Dirty Bastard show. So let The Bartender hip you up and get you in with the cool kids.

When an attractive person invites you to his or her table then steers you to a less attractive friend.

Barley sandwich
Beer for lunch. Also called a slurp sandwich.

Bayonetting the wounded
Gamely drinking the half-finished beers the morning after a party.

Booze coupons

The variety of spins that occur while lying prone. Putting one foot on the floor usually helps. If you are already on the floor, may God have mercy on your soul.

Beer bitch
The person sitting closest to the cooler or refrigerator at a party whose sole purpose in life is to grab another beer when yours runs out.

Beer blinders
One's perception when under the influence of alcohol. Often causes unattractive people to look hot, long distances to look jumpable and break dancing moves to look easy.

Beer Pressure
The tendency to drink what your friends drink.

Beer queer
A straight man who will pretend to be gay so as to solicit free drinks from an unsuspecting homosexual.

Blackout Brigade
A group of heavy drinkers.

Booze compass
The instinct that leads you home when you're blackout drunk.

Booze muscle
The increase in courage and combat abilities linked to heavy alcohol consumption.

Booze snooze
A nap taken early in the afternoon after a morning of drinking, designed to prepare you for the evening's drinking.

The person who, when he is supposed to be passing the bottle of liquor around, stops to reflect on the first time he got drunk, last time he got drunk, etc. A derivative of the stoner term bogart.

Breaking the Seal
Urinating for the first time during a drinking session. Once the seal is broken, restroom trips become much more frequent.

Britney Spears
A light beer. As in, "How can I take you seriously when you've been sucking
on Britney Spears all night?"

That which destroys the buzz. Examples are fights with one's significant other while at the bar, boors who insist on telling that story one more time, your best friend admitting that he/she is sleeping with your significant other, horrible music after you've just heard three of your favorite songs in a row, or discovering that you actually have less than half of the money that you thought you had at the beginning of the evening.

ยป by Madfish Willie on February 2 :: Permalink :: Comments (2) :: Funny Stuff

Trackbacks to The Lush Lexicon

Buzzkill -- the sight of Janet Jackson's 37 year old prune.

Posted by: Oscar Meyer's Weiner on February 3, 2004 09:23 AM

Janet is pimp:)

Posted by: tshirt on November 1, 2005 09:46 AM