After Your Fifth Drink....

For your entertainment today, I have a funny list of stuff that happens after your fifth drink. I can't remember where I grabbed this from, therefore I cannot give the proper credits. I think it is from Modern Drunkurd Magazine. If you've seen it somewhere else, let me know.

Which one are YOU today?

Numbers 101-120 of 207:

101. You know that vodka is tasteless going down, but memorable coming up.


102. You say when your drunk what you think when you’re sober.


103. You know the best beer in the world is the one in your hand.


104. Beer does not make you fat. It makes you lean— against bars, poles and tables.


105. You always drink Irish Coffee for breakfast because it contains all four adult food groups: fat, sugar, caffeine and alcohol.


106. You don't drink anymore . . . of course, you don't drink any less, either.


107. Your bartender never has to ask, "Do you want another?"


108. You recognize that vomiting is just the body’s way of making room for another round.


109. You distrust camels or anything else that can go a week without a drink.


110. You're favorite method of dieting is the "Slim Jim": Ultra Slim-Fast shakes made with Jim Beam.


111. Absolut wants to run an ad featuring a picture of your liver in the shape of a bottle.


112. You only drink to get rid of hangovers, and sometimes it takes all night.


113. You know if you give up drinking you won’t actually live longer — it’ll just seem like longer.


114. You spend ninety percent of your paycheck on drinking and waste the rest.


115. You fell down two flights of stairs and didn’t spill a drop.


116. You don’t mind blacking out because it makes Sunday confession much less embarrassing.


117. When you wake up hungover you’re afraid you’ll die. Half an hour later you’re afraid you’ll live.


118. You wonder why people need friends when you can just sit in a room and drink all day.


119. You believe the only Absolut(e) in life is vodka.


120. You went on a diet, swore off drinking and bar food, and in fourteen days you lost two weeks.