After Your Fifth Drink....

For your entertainment today, I have a funny list of stuff that happens after your fifth drink. I can't remember where I grabbed this from, therefore I cannot give the proper credits. If you've seen it somewhere else, let me know.

Which one is Harvey today?

Numbers 41-60 of 207:

  1. You’re stalked by alcoholic vampires.

  2. You have never screwed a cap back onto a liquor bottle.

  3. Your friends pretend to be bartenders, just so you’ll pay attention to them.

  4. Your personal mantra is, "Where there’s a swill, there’s a sway."

  5. You suffer from barthritis— every night you get stiff in another joint.

  6. You don’t recognize the difference between "waking up" and "coming to."

  7. You donate a pint of blood and the hospital has to card the patient they give it to.

  8. Your liver enters itself in a Tough Man competition.

  9. You wear Hawaiian shirts because it’s tougher to see vomit stains on them.

  10. Going out drinking with you is covered by your friends’ insurance.

  11. As a child your dad helped you learn math by first explaining a four-count.

  12. Your personal math system is based on the number six, i.e.: "I’ll take a twelver of Big Macs, with a sixer of those without cheese."

  13. You use visualization techniques to master beer bongs.

  14. In high school, you were voted most likely to drink in grade school.

  15. 2 for 1 is your lucky number.

  16. A perfect date is soft music, a bottle of wine and moi.

  17. A couple times a year you go on a "non-bender."

  18. Before you go out each night you consult a psychic hotline to determine which bartenders will be pouring strong.

  19. Peeling the label off a beer bottle arouses you.

  20. You feel a tinge of pride when someone refers to you as a "shameless alcoholic."

» by Madfish Willie on January 13 :: Permalink :: Comments (3) :: Funny Stuff
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Tracked: January 13, 2004 09:23 AM

After number five, i usually become the designated driver.

Posted by: Vigilance Matters on January 13, 2004 07:18 AM

I'm #46, but 45 & 52 are sooooo Matty O'Blackfive that he should just have those numbers tattooed on his arm.

Not his note-taking arm, though.

Posted by: Harvey on January 13, 2004 09:23 AM

I can SOOOOO identify with #46...

Posted by: Eric on January 13, 2004 04:44 PM