86 Rules of Boozing

Today: Rules 21-30

21. Our parents were better drinkers than we are.


22. Never talk to someone in the restroom unless you're doing the same thing—urinating, waiting in line or washing your hands.


23. Girls hang out, apply make-up, and have long talks in the bathroom. Men do not.


24. After your sixth drink, do not look at yourself in the mirror. It will shake your confidence.


25. It is only permissible to shout 'woo-hoo!' if you are doing a shot with four or more people.


26. If there is a DJ you can request a song only once per night. If he doesn't play it within half an hour, do not approach him again. If he does play it, do not approach him again.


27. Learn how to make a rose out of a bar napkin. You'll be surprised how well it works.


28. If you can't afford to tip, you can't afford to drink in a bar. Go to the liquor store. [This means you, Harvey!]


29. If you owe someone twenty dollars or less, you may pay them back in beer.


30. Never complain about the quality or brand of a free drink.

Tomorrow: Rules 31-40