I've had worse careers...

A lot of folks would think that tending bar in this dive sucks. Well, it does, but not as bad as some jobs I've had!

Like the time I worked in a remote mining camp in the wilderness. I'd been there about four days, and started getting the "urge". So, I asked one of my fellow miners what they did about that. Was there a whorehouse nearby, etc.?

Frank, the fellow miner, says, "No, nuthin' like that for a hundr'd miles'r more, dude... When we get that urge we just take ol' Pete (he was this grizzled old man about 80 years old), and we go to one of the abandoned shafts, and... well, that's how we take care of things!"

I told Frank, in no uncertain terms, "No WAY! I don't go for that shit!"

A couple weeks later, the urge is getting almost unbearable now, I asked Frank again. "There's GOTTA be something better than ol' Pete!"

"Nope, I'm tellin' ya, man... it's that or nothing!"

So, just to make sure I'd been clear the first time, I said it again. "I do NOT go for that shit! Period! End of sentence!"

Well, now a whole month has gone by, and I'm so desperate to get laid I'm not even thinking straight. I go to Frank's tent, and I ask him, "OK, I've changed my mind. How do I go about approaching ol' Pete for some sex?"

Frank sits up in his sleeping bag, rubs his eyes, and says, "Well, hang on, let me go get Bob. We'll go with you."

"Go WITH me??? What the fuck are you talking about?"

Frank says, "Yeah, go WITH you. Ol' Pete don't go for that shit either!"